All Sorts

New Zealand Tablet, Volume XXXVII, Issue 2, 14 January 1909, Page 78

All Sorts

Of the 156,000 tons of currants -exported last year from Greece, 65,000 tons, valued at £1,200,000, were sent to England. 'Ireland's bogs contain the equivalent of 5,000,000,000 tons of coal, according to the estimate of a -well-known, scientific authority. The largest body of water in the world having no outlet to the ocean is the -Caspian Sea, it being 18,000 square miles in extent. The next United States Senate will be made up of 60 , Republicans and 32 Democrats. The House will have 218 Republicans and 173 Democrats, a reduction in the Republican majority. ' The London Times estimates that when all the old-age pension claims are examined there will be 620,000 pensioners, costing £155,000 weekly, exclusive of the cost of the administration of the Act. The Hill of Tara is to be excavated and thoroughly explored under the direction of a joint committee of the Society of Antiquaries, the Irish Academy, the archaeological societies of"Louth, Kildare, Cork and Waterford, and the literary societies of Dublin and London. The woolsack oh which the Lord Chancellor sits is a large square bag of wool covered with red cloth. It was first used in the time of Edward 111. to remind the peers of the great importance of the wool trade to England, and the consequent necessity of keeping friendly with Flanders. Important lady (who has been subjecting the child to a running fire of questions) : 'Is the skin of the fox any use?' . ■ Child: 'Yes.' Lady: 'What for?' Child: 'For keeping the fox warm, of course.' Recently a little girl was taken to London by her parents. On her return she was describing all the places she had seen to some young friends. One -of them, of a somewhat morbid disposition, asked : ' Did you see' the Old Bailey, where they hang the murderers?' ' No,' replied the girl, ' I don't think so, but I saw the Royal Academy, where they hang the artists.' So*ne time ago a speaker in the House of Commons related an anecdote of the campaign against John Morley in Scotland. As his conservative opponent was addressing the Scotch audience in behalf of a more masterful military policy, he was nonplussed by this question from tlie crowd : ' Is Maister Wilson in favor of spending thirty-six millions a year on the army and navy an' only twelve millions a year on education — that is to say, twelve "millions for pittin' brains in an' thirty-six millions for blawin' 'em oot?' An Irishman and a Scotsman were moving some kegs of powder, when the Scotsman noticed that Pat was smoking a pipe, and the fqllowing conversation ensued : ( Look here,' said the' Scotsman, ' ain't ye , got any better sense than to be smoking whilst we are moving these 'ere kegs of powder. Don't you know that there was an explosion yesterday which blew up a dozen men?' 'But that could never happen here,' replied Pat. 'Why not?' ' Because • there is only two of us on the job.' " A college professor, in company with his son, was enjoying a walk in the country, when he met an old farmer. It had been a very wet season, and the professor, thinking to start the conversation in a way that would prove interesting to the farmer, remarked : ' There has been a rather abnormal precipitation of late.' The farmer seemed somewhat embarrassed, and the professor's son, who used a different vernacular, though he was a student in the college to which his father was attached, attempted to straighten out the matter. Drawing the farmer to one side, he said in a superior way : ' The governor means thaD 1 we've been having a whole lot of rain.' A wealthy American gentleman, who had leased., a Scottish mansion for a few months, was visited by the local shoemaker in connection with a business transaction. The latter, observing a set of golf sticks reposing in a brand new bag, remarked: 'I see ye gowf, sir.,' 'JOh, I have played the game for years. ' Do you play ?' ' No, sir ; I never even saw a game played.' 'Well, lam just, going down to the links; if you care you can walk round the links with me."' The shoemaker readily agreed, and when they reached the links the Yankee made a nice teej upon which he set his ball. Then taking a mighty swing, lie missed. ' Graund game gow,f, sir,' commented the shoemaker. Another swing and miss. 'Capital! Splendid!' from the cobbler. Yet another swing and'- another miss I 'Man, it's simply .magnificent !' exclaimed the man of leather. 'But what's that wee ba'forP'