ODDS AND ENDS

New Zealand Tablet, Volume XXXV, Issue 4, 24 January 1907, Page 38

ODDS AND ENDS

' There goes a man who has done much to arouse the people.' - „.-.." ' G>reat labor, agitator, eh ?' ' No. Manufacturer of alarm clocks.'

Guide— 1 Do you see that broken wall ? That's the remains of the breakwater destroyed by a storm last winter.'

Lady Tourist—' Well, what could they expect jwhen they built it in such an- exposed place ? They'll put the new one in a more -sheltered position, I dare say.'

An Irishman was s.een one hot day laboriously turning a windlass which hoisted a bucket of rook from a shaft. A clergyman who was .passing said— with concern:

'My friend, why don't you cover your head ? This hot sun will affect your brains.' -

' Brains, is it?' said the manias he gave the windlass another turn ; ' if I had any brains, d'ye think I'd be pulling up this bucket.?'

' Mrs. Jones,' said Mrs. Brown, ' I wish to goodness you would keep your hens out of my. garden.' A Mrs. Brown,' said Mrs. Cones.. ' I wish to goodness you would keep your cat out of my garden. If* you would feed it' properly I'm sure it wouldn't want to go about other people's houses.' A few days later Mrs. Drown met • Mrs. Jones, and she said, ' Thank you so much for^ the hint you gave me about my cat. I'm keeping it in the garden now, and it seems to have laid several eggs in the toolhouse.' After that Mrs. Jones' hens were kept at home.