ALL Sorts

New Zealand Tablet, 18 October 1906, Page 38

ALL Sorts

_ - - An • ardent teetotaller, in conversation with the late Sir Wilfrid Lawson, once found fault with the practice of '- christening ' vessels withTchampagne before being launched. Sir Wilfrid .did" not altogether agree with . him, and said a good temperance lesson could be learnt from the practice. y 'How can that be ?' asked his companies. • Well,' replied the * wit*y b&ronet,' ' after the taste, of wine the ship takes to the water, and ' sticks to, it ever after.' The^Vesuvian eruption has destroyed the Neapolitan oyster. The Bay of -JNaples produced an oyster esteemed by epicures as' the choicest' in all Italy. For . the present at least the Neapolitan oyster is an ex- , ..tinct species. According to Professor Doru, director of thd; aquarium of Naples, the ashes from the volcano falling in the bay have covered the oysters in the 'beds to such a depth that every oyster in* the beds was . - smothered, and the beds themselves were hopelessly -bqried. •! Turkeys never came.- from.' Turkey : they are native's of America,. Camels-hair brushes are seldom made from the. hair of the humpbacked quadruped. They are - mostly of the bushy hair from squirrels' tails. Porpoise hide. is not made from porpoise at all. It ista.ken from the white whale: Cork legs are not made of corkj npr do 'they come from Corn. The willow tree usually furnishes material for them. Gleopatra's needle, -that 'wonderful obelisk of Egypt, was made 1000 years before Cleopatra was born, and really has nothing to. do with . her. a Mark Twain and D. W. Ho wells were, one day lunching in a cafe in New York. Two overdressed - young men entered, and the lirst said in a loud voice : • Waiter, bring me some bisque of lobster, a bottle of white wine, and a chop. Just mention my name to the cook, too, so that everything will be done to my liking.' The second young man said: ' Bring- me softie "sole with peas, and "tell the cook vMio" it's for.' Mr. Twain .gave his order a moment later. He said, with a wink at his companion : ""' Bring me a half-dozen oysters, amf mention my name to each of them.' In an article on 4 The Regularity of Earthquakes ' contributed to the- 'Daily Mail,' Professor Milne, F.R.S., calls attention to the theory suggested by the Rev. H. V. Gill, S.J., according to which earthquakes -and such like • disturbances at one place may, under certain conditions, give rise~ to corresponding shocfrs in other places. Ihis theory depends on the 'fact that displacements of the material constituting the earth's mass at any point give rise to" a wobble of the axis of rotation, which in turn produces a corresponding disturbance in other places symmetrically situated with regard to the first position. The theory was described in a recent issue of the ' N.Z. Tablet.' The' ferry wharf was crowded with weary home goers when through the crowd rushed a man, hot, excited, laden to the chin, with bundles of every shape and size. He sprinted down the pier, his eyes fixed on a ferry boat, only two or three feet out from the pier. He -paused but an instant on the stringer and then, cheered von .by the amused crowd, he made- a flying leap across the intervening . stretch of water ;: and- landed safely on the deck. A fat man happened to be standing on the exact spot on which he struck, and they both went dawn with : a resounding crash. : When, the arriving man recovered his breath he apologized- to the fat man. ' I hope I didn't hurt ' you,-' he -sakt'. ' I am sorry. .But,' anyway, I caught the boat:'. , - ~ 'But, you idiot,' said the fat man, c the boat was coming in !' .. ■ ' A short time ago a self-made- man, who was try- ' ing to' show off before others, came to grief. . It happened at a travelling show which" visited his local town, of which he was (in his own estimation, at- least) a • very prominent character. He was - taking his family and several, friends • around and explaining in a very bombastic manner histories of all r? the animals and birds in the show. When they had walked through the exhibition, they came upon a no"ticeoii which' was painted in' large letters: 'To the ._ / ' • : 7 Thinking to improve the situation, the self-made-man looked round and said grandiloquently to those in his wake : • I suppose very few of you know what an egress is, .1 will: now proceed to explain the points of,; this bird to you. , Follow -me,' ■ And; walking ' through the door to -which the notice pointed • he found., himself— in the street !