ODDS AND ENDS

New Zealand Tablet, 23 August 1906, Page 37

ODDS AND ENDS

Why is it we remember what We know should quickly be forgot ? Why is it we forget straightway What we should bear in mind for aye ? A tourist who was sailing upon Locbe Erne once wished to test the alleged character of Irishmen for politeness. Now there was a regular squall on, and at a moment when the old boatman had all his energies bent to keep the little craft before the wind, the inquisitive one, leaning over to the old boatman shouted in his ear, ' Very little wind to-day.' ' ' Very little, indeed,' was the reply, ' but what there is of it is mighty strong !'

Father : ' Your mother tells me that you* haven't been a good boy to-day, Johnny.' Johnny : ' Between you and me, father, I think she is a little prejudiced against me. It was only the other day she told .Aunt Kate I was just like you.' ' Well doctor,' said a Christchurch man to his medical advisei the other day, ' how do you find me this morning ?' ' You're doing nicely. Your legs are still a hit swollen, but that doesn't trouble me.' ' I understand, doctor. If your legs Avere swollen it wouldn't trouble me either.' Not long ago there was talk of placing a clock in the tower of a certain village church. John X , the old sexton, who lived in a cottage opposite the church, declared himself ' dead agm it,' and expressed the opinion that it would entail ' a sad waste o' brass.' 'We want no clocks,' he said ; ' we've done without clocks up to now, an' we shall manage. Why, lyin' in my bed of a morning 1 can see the time by the sundial over the porch.' 1 Yes,' said one who approved of the scheme, ' that is all right as far as it goes. But the sun doesn't shine every morning. What do you do then?' ' Why.' replied John, as if surprised at the question, ' I knows then as it ain't lit weatlier to be out o' bed, an' 1 just stops wheer I is !'