ODDS AND ENDS

New Zealand Tablet, 26 July 1906, Page 37

ODDS AND ENDS

Why is it follvs sit th's way in The tram we miss, While in the tram we catch at last We'rejammedlikethis? Lord Leighton, the celebrated Academician, while walking through a Scottish village, came upon a local painter painting the signboard of an inn. He looked on with interest for a white, and then remarked : ' I am afraid,' said the renowned artist, ' that figure you are drawing is a little bit out of proportion.' 1 D'ye think sac ? ' asked the painter anxiously. 'Is't owre big or owre wee ? ' ' Too large, I am afraid, 1 replied the President of the Koyal Academy with a smile. ' An' hoo am I gaun to pit it richt ? ' asked the village painiter, i n puzzled tones. ' Oh, if you will come down from the ladder I'll soon put it right for you,' replied LoTd LeigMon His Lordship accordingly mounted the ladder, and first painted out the original figure, ami then painted in a new one, which, needless to say, was very much better done. The sign-painter watched him admiringly Man, ye're a grand penter,' he said. 'What micht yer name be na ? ' ' Oh, my name is Leighton,' was the reply Aweel, mine is Tarn Johnston, and I'll be gled to gie ye a job onytime ye're needin' ane.' *

Greater New York, already the second largest city in the world, bids fair to rival, within the next decade or two, London itself. Its population is 4,014,301. The Germans in New York, by "birth and parentage, would make a city equal to Leipsic and Frankfort-on-the-Main combined ; the Austrians and Hungarians— Trieste a nd Piume ; the Irish— Belfast, Dubling, andj Cork ; the Italians— Florence ; the English and Scotch— Aberdeen and Oxford ; the Poles — Poltava in Russsia. As a large ocean-going steamer was making her way down the Clyde the officer in charge found his passage blocked by a ditty-looking, empty ballast barge, the only occupant of which was a man sitting smoking a short pipe. Finding that he did not make any effort to get ,out of the way, the officer shouted to him in true nautical fashion. Taking the pipe from his mouth, the fellow rose and said : 1 An' is it yerself that's the captain of that ship ?" ' No,' was the reply, ' but I am the ohief officer.' ' Then talk to your aiquals,' said the Irishman ; ' I am the captain of this.' Mr. Andrew Carnegie has ghen utterance to many wise remarks, but to none more sage than this :—: — ' Drunkenness is the great risk ahead in the career of every young man. It is far more important that he insure himself against it than against death. A drink policy is worth ten life policies/ Death is inevitable, and comes at the end of life. Intemperance is a costly folly that, even when it do3s not develop into persistent drunkenness, causes losses and brings on -diseases. When it does turn into inebriety, it is a living death. To let liquor alone is the surest way to keep sober. _^___ *• The children of a London Catholic school had been taken for their annual excursion to a quiet country place, and had been allowed to wander just where they liked. A six-year-old youngster was standing looking through the fence at some sheep when the owner of the sheep passed by. Attracted by the youngster's earnest gaze, he said to him : 'My boy, do you know that from these beautiful ereatuies you got your clothes ? ' The youngster thought for a moment, then, 100-Mng the gentleman up and down, he said : ' You're wrong there, guvnor ; my clothes are generally farver's cut down.'