A Declined Duel

New Zealand Tablet, Volume XXXIII, Issue 17, 27 April 1905, Page 1

A Declined Duel

Some twelve months ago Nunz,io Nasi, ex-Minister of Public Instruction In Italy, stood accused of suKdry thefts and other great and petty malpractices and de* prcdatibns. He w>as badly ' wanted ' by the police, but, being a man of retiring disposition, he decided not to face tihe publicity— and, incidentally, the doufotfui chances— of an appearance in the criminal courts of hia country. One sunny day a glimpse was caught ol him as he was careering over the frontier into Switzerland on a flying motor-car. Since then his place in Italy has known him no more, and his anxious friends of the Department of Justice have heard, no tidimga ot the coy fugitive ,* Since Iris abrupt departure to fresh fields, news* paper comment on Nasi and his new version of the vanishing tuck has been painful and frequent and free> A few weeks ago the ' Vera Romia ' (a Cathollo daily published in tihe Eternal City) took tflie fugitive deputy in hands and, figuratively speaking, flayed him alive and boiled him in oil. A few days later he was waited upon by two moustaohed Btrangers, They invited him to fight a duel with Nasi's son. But the edittor fe a practical Catholic, and declined either to murdej or commit murder on a false and degrading plea 'ol honor ' that should go out with swearing and society drunkenness and other evidences of un-Christiam coarse* nes.s ajnd vulgarity of manners. The sequel o£ tfrai story is not yet told. But it reminds us that fa Italy, as in France and Germany and 'Austria., taert still exists a fantastic ' code of honor ' which sedlos to comlpel a decent men to stand up and be perforated by bullets from the hair-liggered pistol of a brawling blackguard. Editorial duels on the Continent of Europe are, however, usually of a harmless character that recalls tflie famoms Brentford encounter, in which the combatants fired their pistols in the air. Which led Tom Hood to express the punning hope that all duels might have this ' upshot 'in the end. The spark of wit is sometimes stronger in the duellist than the sense of humor.

Some years ago a Paris journalist, like the editor of • Vera Roma,' rib-roasted an erxant . Qeputy in his paper. The same day he received Ijhe following brief note from the professional law-maker :— ' Sir, — One does no*" send a challenge to a bandit of your s,pecies. One simply administers a cuff on the ears. Therefore, I hereby cufi both your ears Be grateful to me for not having recourse to weapons.— Yours truly, ' Tihe journalist promptly replied •— ' My dear Sir and Adversary,—! thank you, according to ypur wi'Sih, for having sent me cufls by post, instead of slaughtering me with weapons. Cuffed by post, I respond by despatching you by post six bullets in the he-ad. I kill you by letter. Please consider yourself dead from the first line of this epistle. With a respectful salutation to your corpse, I am very truly yours, ' The journalist la,ughed last and best. lie published the correspondence The fighting deputy was in consequence overwhelmed with ridiqule, and for him life for a time lost its sweetness and the sun its brightness. m Mark Twain happened to be in France at the time of ithe farcical duel between M. Floquet and the Barnum militarist, General Roulanger The great humorist feigned deep resentment at not having been entrusted With the management of the affair. Mark's idea of a proper duel was cannon at five yards or pea-rifles at half a mile. Long ago— it was in his maklen speech in tihe House of Commons in 1837 — Disraeli threw ridicule upon the political duels of the time They weie (said he) ' the secure arbitrament of blank; cartridges. ' In a similar, but much more uproarious way, the laughter that shook the ribs of tihe public at the antics of Bob Acres and Mansie Wlaugh behind the footlights did much to end the private and political duel in England. The great scientist, Dr. Virchow, once cooled the duelling ardor of the Man of Blood and Iron by a gruesome choice of wea.i ons, one of which, at least, was as deadly in its way as tihe bomb that lately blew Grand Duke Sergius into mincemeat. Virchow had been poking Bismarck (at that time Chancellor) with some sharp-pointed criticism. Once, when he had been ' pinked ' somewhat more deeply than lusual, the Iron Chancellor sent seconds to wait upon Virqhow r and challenge him to a duel. The further course of the story runneth thus :— ' The man of science was found in his laboratory, hjard at work at experiments which had for their object the 'discovery of a means of destroying trichinae, which were making great ravages in Germany. "Ah ! " said the 'doctor, " a challenge fnom Piince Bismarck, eh ! Well, well ! As lam the challenged party, I suppose I have the choice of weapons. Here they are ' " He held mp two large sausages, which seemed to be exactly alike. " One of these sausages," he 'said, "is filled with trichinae ; it is deadly. The other is perfectly wholesome. Externally they can't be told apart Let his Excellency Qo me the honor to choose whiche\er of these he wishes and eat it, and I will eat the other ' " ' (We nifty here explain that trichinae are the parasites which produce the painful and deadly disease caltett l trichinosis, which is ntore common in Germany than in any other part of the earth). ' Although, 1 says the narrator, ' the proposition was as reasonable a.s any, duelling jproposition could be, Prince Bismarck's representatives refused it. No duel was fought, and no one accused Vircihow of cowardice.'