Grave and Gay.

New Zealand Tablet, Volume XXV, Issue 17, 27 August 1897, Page 29

Grave an d Gay.

HORACE OBEELEY'S WRITINa. These was only one printer who could read Greeley's writing weJl enough to put it m type. He used to boast that he could read the great editor's wondrous scrawl a mile away. • v »° ne ?u ight J he boys & the Tribu ™ composing-room « put up a job" on the old man They took two roosters, made them w« lk around on a newly.mked forme, and then run all over ten sheete of copy p&pGF. The foreman wrote over it in Greeley'B well-known scrawl "The Plain Duty of Congress," and put it on old 22T Lawton'a t , T te°} d Pinter picked it up, grumbled a little, remarked that they had to shove the stuff on the old man, as usual, adjusted hU spectacles, and began sticking type. ' 081 ** 1 nia The other printers watched him for a few minutes, but, beyond VS^^&rtfj^&J£*~ went on setW « jJkNEi £2; w^d r- k *■ copy to *• foreman ' and asked : readt^sfuff^^' ' '^^ *** foreman « You **<>" J«™ could Lawton took the sheet down to Greeley and pointed out to him a particularly awful scrawl of the rooster's foot, asking what word viutZtUXa^t* """V***-™™ aad finished hto task The old man never knew how the " copy " was produced. AT THE DENTISTS'. We have all been there and can appreciate the following • A little nerve no bigger than a thread, A jumping pain that cleaves in twain the head A fuss, a muss, and worse, a shout, a dread, A sudden resolution, hasty tread, An easy chair, a clench a wrench, a yell, A groan, a moan, a torture flownj and— well, A vacancy within no tongue can tell, Where half a dozen tongues or more might dwell. THE MOTHER-IN-LAW QUESTION. • T i e eat mother-in-law question, which has endured ever since the "introduction " of mother-in-laws, appears at last to hive produced its own remedy, through the far-seeing and nractS !Z3 W r a \t menCa^ S i? yearS a *° a M^chusetts gentWn named Wright married. We pass over those six years with the bare remark that the resultant mother-in-law has been » wrMbtlv " or wrongly in evidence. Now the latest from the " seat of war " (or love) is that Mr Wright having duly divorced hia wife, married her mother ! « Divide and conquer " has apparently made its Way S the banks of the Merrimac from those of the Tiber. As this^anti mother-in-law" remedy is unpatented and is free to " sufferers " it is evident that this ranging of wives and mother-in-law s in opposite camps will •' cause instant-relief." apposite ON THE UNDERGROUND. Humour of a quiet sort is afforded by a story in Our Jlailioays. according to which an old lady travelling on the London underground railway and finding that the train was approaching a ftation addressed herself to a man in a farther cornerof the compartntn?' her only fellow passenger, and said, « Would you tell me sir reply. Then would you mind, sir, when we arrive opening the t°f/nf »^ Pmg m< L° U V, , With was the cordial assent. \ou see." the old lady went on to explain," " lam well on in years, and afflicted, and have to get out slowly, and backwards, and when the porter sees me getting out he shouts "Look alive ma am,' and gives me a push from behind-and I've been round the circle twice already." * *»««•«■ ye oeen CLEARING THE GROUND. Old John S was a rural postman in a West Country district and, in a rather rough fashion, was al,o an amateur dentist On his rounds one day he met a certain farmer about to start for a six-mi c ride to town for the purpose of getting an aching tooth draw? On seeing old John, however, the farmer distracted with pain determined to test the old man's skill as a tooth-puller AwR somewat rusty pliers was produced, and after a few tugs thJtooS was held up for the farmer to see, who exclaimed : "Why John you ye drawn the wrong tooth. TLat is a sound one." « I know that, maister," said John; " but now I can get at the other handier I"