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New Zealand Tablet, Volume XXI, Issue 18, 17 February 1893, Page 20

" How is it," said a gentleman to Sheridan, " that your name has no O attached to it ? Your family is Irish, and no doubt illustrious." " No family has a better right to O than ours," said Sheridan, "for we owe everybody " Maik was on a lecture tour in America. The town was a littla cu'eide the borders of civilisation ; the chairman of the evening knew nothioer about the lec'urer, ban never beard of him ; it was the earliest of Maik's lecturing days. " Ladies and gentlemen," said the chairman, " i« is my duty to introduce you to the lecturer of the evening, Mr Mark Twain. The only thing thit I know of him is that he has never been locked up in our gaol, and 1 am bound at the same time to add that I don't know why he hasn't." Jay Gould left 100 000,000 dole to his family, and not on 6 cent in charity. It is just as well. If be had bequeathed anything to the poor, bis will could have b°en broken < n the obvious ground that he was insane in making it. If Mr Gould ever gave away anything in I charity with his left hand, be did not make his right band aware of i it— for he knew that the latter would reach out and recover the alms, together with any portable values it might find in the beneficiary's pocket — Pilot. To tell a Protestant American that this is a missionary country is to arouse a tempest of wrath, but in a story published in Oodey't Magasine, a found parent Beiioußly tells his daughter that Christmas is celebrated because on that day Our Lord arose from the dead. Tht author of the story, Mrs Gertrude Franklin Atberton, the editor of the magazine, the proof-reader, and the copy-holder apparently need a missionary. No Jesuit stands at their elbow.— Pilot. Mr Bobert N. Oust, whose name is a household word in Protestant missionary circles, and whose whole life has been devoted to the service of tbe missionary cuse, writes to the Guardian an important letter on the subject of Uganda. He protests strongly against the idea of backing up missionary enterprise by the force of arms, and opposes the cry for the annexation of Uganda in the interest of the local Proteßtant mission. As to Lugard's action, he aeks what would Protestant England tay if somewhere in the French sphere of influence a dispute arose between a Prottstant and a Catholic mission, and an officer in the French ermy, at the head of a body of black mercenaries, intervened on tbe side of the Catholics and slaughtered a lot of Protestants with machine guns. Mr Cust wants to know what would be the comments of the English Press and of Protestant platform speakers on Buch a proceeding, and what they would say to an agitation in France to annex the country in order to further secure the ground for the Catholic mission. Yet this is only the story of Uganda with the names changed.