SHE DOWNED THE BARBER.

New Zealand Tablet, Volume XII, Issue 13, 18 July 1884, Page 22

SHE DOWNED THE BARBER.

Oue friend Wilkins has a little five-year-old daughter by whom has been vanquished one of Lowell's most accomplished linguists, otherwise one of Lowell's most skilled tonsorial artists. She was taken down to have her hair cut the other day, and opened fire upun the officiating barber with his own ammunition iv the following manner to wit — " Oo pitty well to-day ? " " Yesl little girl, I'm pretty well." (Snip.) " Oo mama well ? " " Yes, my mother's pretty well." (Snip.) " Oo papa well ? " "Yes, pretty well." (Snip, snip.) " Oo dress oorself ? " " Oh, yes, I dress myself." (Snip.) " Oo wash oo own face ? " "Eh ? Oh, yes ; of course." (Gouge.) " Oo fix oo own hair 1 " '• Yea, yes." (Snip, snip, strip — rapidly.) '• Oo sew Sunday ? " ■. '• Why, no ; I don't sew Sundays." (pause.) " Oo sit right down and read ? " " Yes." (Snip, snip, snip— nervously.) " Can oo lead ? " " Yes." (Nearly takes off one ear.) "Oo been to school? " " Well, yes — some time ago." (Snip, snip.) " Is oo a man ? " " Ye-es." (Thinks some of infanticide.) " Does oo mama let oo smoke ! " " Sometimes." (Tries to control a cowlick.) " When 1 " '•' When she doesn't know it." (Snip.) " When don't she know it Z " " When she isn't looking. (Tries to smile.) " I s ? oo all through ? " '• Yes, all through." (Relieved.) " Goo by ; I'll come again some time — won't 1 1 '" " Do." (Sinks exhausted.) And the little bud of promise toddled out of the door without the baffled barber having aske 1 her if she wouldn't have a sea-foam or a bottle of hair tonic. — Loivell Press.