QUESTIONS FOR CAPTAINS.

New Zealand Illustrated Sporting & Dramatic Review, Volume XVIII, Issue 1056, 2 June 1910, Page 23

QUESTIONS FOR CAPTAINS.

The, captain of one of the American liners has been relating the troubles of his responsible position. The chief among these seems to be that he is continually having unnecessary inquiries put him by anxious passengers. There are nine questions, he says, that are invariably asked him on each voyage as soon as the ship leaves port. The nine matters on which information is demanded are as follows:

Have you ever been shipwrecked? Are there any whales in this latitude? What tips should one give, and to whom? How many times have you crossed the Atlantic? What is the best cure for sea-sickness? Why are they always painting the ship? Will you let me come up on the bridge one day? Do you remember my cousin who crossed over with you in ’0 6? I suppose the passengers ask you a great many silly questions?

Another very common inquiry is “Where is the nearest land?” One harassed captain, on being asked this question for about the fiftieth time, pointed over the vessel’s side and blandly replied, “Madame, the nearest land is at the bottom of the sea!”