CHOPS & CHANGES

New Zealand Illustrated Sporting & Dramatic Review, Volume XI, Issue 515, 1 November 1900, Page 19

CHOPS & CHANGES

Girls and billiard balls kiss each other with just about the same amount of real feeling. The Whangarei Hotel, recently destroyed by fire, has been replaced by a handsome new building of brick.

The Victorian Licensed Victuallers have decided to combine to defend their int< rests at the coming elections.

An additional sum of £2OO has been placed on the Estimates for expenses attending the detection and rewards in sly grog-selling cases. Mr Seddon said that the only publican he had in his room during the Session was a personal friend of his own down from Masterton

In round figures, including the sum allowed for contingencies, the war is estimated to cost the Unit ed Kingdom 76 millions.

A prohibitionist lady in Queensland recently stated that barmaids induced young men to drink, she would not say that they induced old men, she had never entered hotels.

She: “How lovely the stars look, darling !” Young Hubby : ‘ ‘ And yet how sad ! Innumerable worlds full of men burdened with doubts, debts, dyspepsia, and domesticity!”

In the near future. —Mrs Bull: “Is it not very - unreasonable for you to spend every night at your clubP” Mr Bull: “But, my dear, it’s one of the new rifle clubs, and every patriotic Briton must learn how to shoot!”

Jno. Donnelly of the Kapanga Arms Hotel, Coromandel, will apply at the next sitting of the Thames District Licensing Bench, to have his license transferred to Henry Johnstone, The meeting takes place on the 7th of December at the Thames.

The following sign was hung up in a blacksmith’s shop run by two men. “The coKiwtnership heretofore resisting betwixt me and ose Skinner am hereby resolved. Parties owing the firm anything, will pay me, and those whom the firm owe will see Mcse.”

Hennessy and Dwyer were having a chat about their ‘neighbours, when Hennessy remarked: “Did ye hear that Murphy passed 20 pubs without steppin’ into any of ’em, and him wid a pocket full of coin.” **Ho]y Moses,” said Dwyer, “was the man in a thrance?” “No,” replied Hennessy, “Murphy was in a police van.”

During’, eome discussion which arose on the question of barmaid’s hours, during the hearing of evidence by the Queensland Licensing Commission, a Mr Cork, and I suppose we will have to brand him Irish on the Cork, said that he understood barmaids worked in shifts. (Well, what do you think ?)

“ Yes,” remarked the globe-trotter. “I have been everywhere, seen many queer sights, and had lots of fun, but I have also been in a good many tight places.” “ While I have never travelled much,” rejoined his companion,. “ I have had some gay old times, been tight in a good many places, and have incidentally seen some mighty queer things.” In the United Kingdom, advices say the tas’e for Madeira seems to be steadily declining. Out of total shipments from the Island of 6314 pipes, only 55,662 imperial gallons were imported for consumption in the British Isles, as against 67,911 gallons in 1868, and 129,377 gallons in 1897. Some years ago. Madeira was quite a fashionable wine, but-it would now appear that its popularity is past,. This is another curious illustration of the fickleness of the popular palate.

The society known as the Sober Scots has held its annual meeting at Edinburgh. Colonel John Ferguson, the chairman, advocated that all public-houses should not open before noon, and should close earlier in the evening. It was felt that all self-respecting Scotsmen would find such a time limit ample. Under the rules members promise not to drink intoxicants except “at a meal.” It was suggested that the word “ regu-. lar ” should be inserted before the word “ meal.” This did not meet with favour, and, therefore, each member can still have as many “meals” per day as he finds to be consistent with safety. They had been married and had come to Sydney to spend the honeymoon. And it seemed to William to be the right thing to put up at the Hotel Australia. So having sampled a play at the Theatre Royal and an oyster supper, to the palatial hotel in Castlereigh-street they repaired. “ Keep your eyes wide open, William,” said his beloved bride, “and take notice what other folks do.” The clerk allotted them to room No. 99, and the bowing hall-porter conducted them to the lift. He handed in the blushing bride, and was waiting, with his hand on the lever, for the bridegroom ; but the latter coloured up like beetroot, and, in tones of great indignation, whispered: “Look ’ere, young feller, you may think you’re bloomin’ fly, but don’t you come none of your funny business with me. T ordered a room, not a little bit of a crib like this with leather seats all round it ” But the hall-porter only grinned, and jerked the cage heaven-ward. If you will study this attentively, you will see how easy it is to read Chinese: —. Oho ometo th ewi neva ultw ithme Andb uyyo uaquar toftheb est Tw ilpro vee anexce llentdri nkusee Itsq ua lityal Iwiila attest. Tiso nlyfou rshi lli ngshsaqust Soco metot hepu blicwi thme Nob etterca nev erbebo ught . Tisa sple-ndi ddro pofWhi ske.