My Lady's Bower.

New Zealand Illustrated Magazine, Volume VI, Issue 2, 1 May 1902, Page 150

My Lady's Bower.

By Alma

The Decay of Home Life. WT is being asserted very freely that the II [ tendency of to-day is to the decay of n home life ; and one of the causes given is that of over-education, another that of automatic labour-saving 1 machines. I think I am correct in stating that these two are the most frequently alleged reasons for the very serious question before us. That it is serious no one who has at heart the interest of the country and the interest of humanity will for a moment deny. We have to consider that the coming generation of children will benefit or lose by our care or by our neglect of them. Further, though this question alone deserves more lengthened discussion, we have to consider that if there is a tendency to abandon the God-given idea of motherhood, then the doom of the natiou is " writ large." Passing over the issues here involved, let us consider whether it is true that there is a marked decay of home life. We are told that education is responsible for the withdrawal from domestic service of girls who prefer the more distinctly regulated hours of labour and the more independent state of living offered by shops, factories, etc. Now the average education given to girls of the lower classes gives them the means of improving themselves mentally. But how many girls are desirous of so improving themselves ? Is it not rather the case that girls, in the great majority, look upon school as a grind from which at a certain age they will be delivered by their parents ? Like boys, they look forward to" the ; time when they may earn a living. Ido not think that many girls are at all anxious to be educated beyond the ability to read the newspapers and how and again a novel. If they are of

a studious habit, then whatever the employment, they will use their leisure in the pursuit of knowledge. But if they "become domestic servants, they are either maids of all work, in which case their hours are too prolonged or their leisure too uncertain to admit of study. If they work with other maids, they certainly cannot study in the company of others, whose only sitting-room is the kitchen, and their bedrooms are not, as a rule, well lighted or comfortable. Consequently they become discontented, not because they are overeducated, but because no chance is giveu them of developing their intellects. Thus they drift into shops, factories, I'estaurauts, etc., the sole reason being that, they want some time when they may be independent of mistresses. I have the greatest sympathy with servant gii^ls who, because they are servants, may not use too much gas, may not be found leading, may have certain one or two nights out, may not express their opinions, may, in a word, be regarded only as slaves. Always admitting that in a few instances perfect freedom is given after performance of certain duties, I still think that with the unvarying environment of the kitchen, the uncertain demands, with the altogether subordinate inferior position, that domestic service is white slavery. Now we have to suggest a remedy.

Well, what reason is there to prevent the wealthiest of our girls from learning to do housework ? Now that there are so many labour-saving devices — and women ought to be heartily thankful for them — there is no reaso.ii why every girl in the land should not make an attempt to learn housekeeping. 1 admit that to some natures work of this kind is intolerable. But, after a certain

period of thorough testing, it may be fuund that the dislike had been founded on prejudice alone. If it were clearly and conclusively proved that a girl was totally incompetent, then it would bo time to think of other work for her. But to think that education is responsible is absurd. ' True education teaches that no work is menial, and no gentlewoman will ever think housework beneath her. A smattering of education and an unwise mother will

undoubtedly cause hfivm. Mothers should reflect that if a girl is clever, that cleverness will find its own beut, and that no woman is too clever to know how to manage her home. Nothing is a source of greater delight than a well-ordered home and happiness. The truest pleasures are those of the family. Again, suppose that a woman is clever, is sensible, and is houseproud. It often happens that, alone, she cannot do all that is demanded of her. Is

she to develop into a drudge? No; most decidedly. Everyone should have leisure, and if we refuse hor servants, what is she to do ? This is the crux of the domestic service problem, and some suggestion has to be made. Now this is just where the girl of the day can offer her services. She must not be required to be an ordinary domestic servant; she finds no assistance in the Lady Help system. The former sits in the kitchen after her work, the latter expects to have the company of lier master and mistress, who, after a day apart, wish to be together, and perhaps alone. But what is there to prevent any gentlewoman from offering her services for a certain number of hours per day? If she should be required at night, then she would demand a regulated increase of salary. If, again, the help should be required to live in the house, then I maintain that she should have her own sitting-room, not the kitchen. She should regard herself as a lady, but also as not one of the family circle. The footing would be very much that of a superior housekeeper. No work would be too menial if it were in the syllabus of household duties which she agreed to perform. Of course difficulties misrht arise, which would

require tact to deal with. Emergencies might require services not stipulated ; but in every profession such cases arise, and as long

as there was no attempt at im-

position, and provided always that there was a friendly relation, any woman could work quite satisfactorily with another, and receive due salary for her appointed work. Friends of long standing would perhaps work together best, always providing that a friend made the agreement, knowing that she must regard her sittingroom as her domain, and knowing that it was not infra dig. on her part to be expected not to force her company upon the other. She should regard herself as a boarder in

the house, having her own apartments in which to read, work, or entertain her friends after the performance of duties.

With regulated help every woman should be able to devote time to the care of her family. Home should be made the place where intellectual conversation is heard, and where there is true affection among all the members. Ease and comfort there should be, and, above all, consideration for each other. Girls will marry so long as they know they will have the means of securing fair comfort, and their education should enable them to keep the affection of their husbands and of their children. The more labour-saving devices there are, the more inducement is there for wives to manage their own house- work. Management of time is the great thing to be learnt, for after her day's work the wife should be able to give her time to her husband. The more educated — in the true sense of the word, which is not that of knowing so many propositions of Euclid and of conjugating so many Latin verbs — the better the wife and mother, and the more able to cope with the evil now threatening us of decay of home life.