Anecdotes and Sketches.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XLIX, Issue 13, 26 March 1913, Page 71

Anecdotes and Sketches.

GRAVE, GAY, EPIGBA tfMATIO AND OTHERWISE.

Geo. Ade's . ; S~V ADE was Showing a re1 A—- his at the ; yoT Athletic Club. “ AVbnderful! ijujierb’” «peh were the reporter's ejaculations m fore Sir. Ade's rugs and .pictures-. At the end of the inspection,' in answer to an enthusiastic compliment on , his taste, Mr. Ade said with a lai ?h: “Married men. have better halves, but ; we bachelors have better quarters, <h ? ; $> <•> ® By Ally Otter Name. ! It was a party of visitors se/ : Hie fI..M.S of f?!.-burgh, that finally . ' 'red t’n'VoiiservStbiy'jS-tSefytetlAo -th' . 1, .V Air. Phipps. 'Flie curator, while ■ ■■'■••.ng them around, w.us called away on i lu-i--ness and left tfie viSlfdf® in owin'.' ot one 'of flie clerks. Tfeeycanic ' a beautiful statue which wiWaihnad 'mi ineni-.ely. H was of transliuiejit ’>.>'Me. He pointed out the excenenfer of tao statue, toil! the name of the scul and hlioaed. it. from every viewpoint, ‘’’io aekthlf ?‘Aiabitid*r, isn't it?” ' Kir,” Im said, "Venus.” . ‘ y <?> The Vital-, i|ue»tioii. The profesjm - was delivering tin’ |*ial lecture uf tile term. He dwelt with much on the fact that <ach ' etiijisd--wiuiald devote all the iniiivm- ' MMSLO III ' 1 prepilring for the final . xaa ina- ■' tior. k j ,, Tlie examination papers are no'< in the bands of the printer. Are ti.'" buy questions X<> be asked?** T Silence prevailed. Sudilenly a vyiea from tlie rear inqoiiiedi * "Who's the printer?” •

My Affinity. I don't know where she is at all —she may be up on Mars. It may be she has stopped to call at sundry other stars. I don't know if she's dark or fair, a blonde or deep brunette. The colour of her eyes and hair I’ve not discovered yet. She mav he fat, she may be lean, for

ought I chance to know. Her temper may be as serene as the umlrlvcn show, or it may be n« seething hot ns pepper of Cayenne—these little points as yet are mit all within my ken. She may be tall. «he may be short—the truth I can’t disclose. It may be •he’s the dimple sort with freckles on her nooe,' or maybe she’s one of those

girls' who have expensive tastes, who wear some sixty-’leven eii'rls and !M) dollar waists. The fact is I’ve not met her yet, this fair twin soul of mine; and -though sometimes I feel regret, at others I opine" considering the flabby state I’m in financially, it’s just as well for my .soulmate and better far for me! €><s><s What Laughter Will Do. Just before the fall of the curtain at the end of the opera “Don Juan” at the Opera Comique in Paris a spectator in the stalls fell oil' his seat. The humour of the incident so tickled one ot

the principal aetroises on the stage that she went off into peals of laughter. Her example was so infectious that one by one caeh of the singers begun to laugh in turn until all were incapable with mirth. Then lhe audience began - to laugh too. with thd result that the curtain' had to be iixwared l>«l'oro the . end of the opera limb been reached.

J.” Oliver H<>btg'*s jf ’ ? »’iis a classmate of Dr! jjqrvard, «ind according to—-tlfiß'.-f of the latter, the ' of ‘the Breakfast Table was as' witty tlren as later. One day the two were talking of metaphysics, when the byMght-Umgned little great man •■xi lajfm’it.. ; ”flL..tell you James, what I tiling m is tike. It is like a man Aptittfrig,~a' When he is done he has. tS o 'hKnh to split f” Very Unfortunate. There was a very determined look in her eye as she marched into the optician's shop. "I want n pair of glasses immediately ,” she said. “Cooil, strong ones?” “fibod strong ones?” “Yes. I was out in the country vestirday and 1 made a verv painful blunder.'’ "Indeed! Mistook a stranger for a friend'” “No; a bee for a bla kie rry.” ■ ?> A Grouch's Story. A euiipl*’ of old grom in- at lhe Met* ropolitan < lub in Washington were one night speaking of :»n old friend who, ripen.his marriage took up his residence in another city. Ono of the grouches had reiently visited tin l old friend, and. naturally, the other grouch wanted news of the benedict. "Is it true that ho is henpecked?'' asked the second groiich. , "1 wouldn't say jn.t that." grimly responded tjre first grouch, “hut I'll tell you .of a little incident in their household that camo within my observation. The very first morning 1 spent with our old friend answered the lettercarrier's whistle As be returned to Us, in tlie breqkfast room, he carried a loiter in hiss lutnd. Turning to Lie wh« he . Mid; . "•’A letter for me. dear. ?l*v I opeg ill’?