Are Women Liars ?

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XLIX, Issue 1, 1 January 1913, Page 60

Are Women Liars ?

By

JAMES DOUGLAS,

in “London Opinion.’’

Z'q'P OMK time ago a friend of mine WnL made a remark which sank into jp) my memory, and lias ever since then bobbed up persistently. It comes into my mind at regular intervals. It is one of those phrases which one cannot lay. It haunts me and worries me. In order to exorcise it I have determined to wrestle with it in print.

"It is a pity,” saiid my friend, "that women are such liars.” Undoubtedly that is an opinion which is held by most men. 1 am afraid that a good many women also hold it. At any rate, there is a fairly general belief that as a nratter of fact women are liars. It is taken for granted that women lie more freely and more frequently than men. It is assumed that lying is a charming feminine peccadillo. It is “pretty Fanny’s way.”

Now I think it wise and well to examine things which are taken for granted. Human beings take as much for granted as they possibly can, for they are lazy, and the habit of taking things for granted saves them from the hard labour of thinking them out for themselves. It would have been easy for me to have accepted my friend’s views, and calmly epent the rest of my life in the placid assumption that women are liars. But the dogmatic emphasis of the statement irritated me. I began to ask myself whether women are liars, and I discovered that I could not get rid of the question. I found myself thinking of women as women, and 1 gradually groped my way to a very emphatic repudiation of my' friend's opinion. I came to the conclusion that women are, a.s a rule, not liars, and that on the whole they are addicted to telling the truth. The notion that women are liars is based largely upon the petty social quibbles which are really only a protective armour. .Men leave the machinery of social life to their womenfolk, and it is upon their women that the task of telling social Kes invariably falls. .Moreover, as women are in a state of subjection they are driven to employ the subtle weapons of the weak against their male protectors. Just as the Jews, owing to ages of persecution and oppression have developed their mental powers in a marvellous degree, so women after ages of subjection have developed their capacity for finesse and diplomacy’ to an equally marvellous degree. That is why a elever man is always eager to use the wits of a clever ■woma n.

It would be interesting if we could always detect the share that a woman takes in the career of a clever man. But, as a rule, the influence of the woman is invisible. Men do not care to give a woman credit for her help in the making of a reputation or a fortune. Yet most successful men will admit that they owe much to some women—it may be to a mother, it may be to a sister, it may be to a wife, it may be to a woman-friend. Of course, there are evil feminine influences as well as good ones, but the bad woman plays upon the weak side of a man, just as the good woman plays upon his good side. It is certain that the strength of a strong man is enormously increased if it is backed by the strength of a strong woman. If it were true that all women are liars, we should not see man drawing moral strength from a woman. It i» moral strength which makes for success in life, and I .believe that in nine cases out of ten it is due to a woman.

Lt is a gross libel to pretend that women have no sense of honour. Yet many men will tell you that a man’s sense of honour is more scrupulous than a woman’s. The contrary is often the case. Male honour is a- very elastic thing, and it Is often based upon male convenience. If we take honesty as a test, I believe th.it most men' would admit that, as a rule, women are more honest than men. In most of our big shops we find women and girls acting as cashiers. This may ho partly due to the Ist that they .ire ehiiper. but I think there is a general disposition to rely upon feminine honinty. One w.utd not naturaily expert honesty from wo-

men, for they are more shamelessly exploited than men. The fact is that women who work for low wages are, as a rule, amazingly honest.

Another proof of the honesty of womefl is the fact that among the working classes it is the woman, who is the household treasurer. It is she who spends the money. It is she who pinches and scrapes. It is she who makes both ends meet. It is she who wages war against debt, and who lights a perpetual battle against the natural prodigality and extravagance of man. Few men are thrifty by nature, but it is seldom that you find a poor woman of the lower middle-class who is not thrifty. There, would be more bad debts if women were not as a class unflinchingly honest and ready to stint themselves and their family in order to meet their obligations. I know there are exceptions. I know there are some women who impoverish their household by their passion for finery. But the point is that these women are exceptions. The great mass of women are almost quixotically honest. Many poor women starve themselves and their children rather than surrender to a load of debt.

There ie another virtue which is to be found in meet women —the ability and the courage to tell unpalatable truths to their menfolk. As a rule, men do not hear the truth about themselves tokl by other men. The average man is not self-critieal, and has few opportunities of learning what ,other men think about him. In fact, men go to women for the salutary stuff of criticism. It is very rare to find a wife who has not the pluck to point out her husband’s faults. No doubt men writhe under the fire of marital rebuke, but even when they resent it, they appreciate its v-alue. A man will fume and storm when his wife warns him against some insanity or inanity which he is on the verge of committing, but as a rule he quietly and unobtrusively takes the warning to heart. Probably he does not care to acknowledge his indebtedness, .but few women insist upon any acknowledgment. They neither seek for credit nor take it.

Therefore, on the whole, I maintain that women are not liars. They are staunch friends and loyal comrades. If they were not, the fabric of marriage would have tumbled to pieces long ago. It ie not too much to say that society is based upon the veracity of women which counteracts the mendacity of men. In our literature and our drama, which are mainly the product of men, this fact is obscured. Male writers are not interested in truthful women. Yet there is no theme so dramatic as the theme of the woman who is not afraid to tell the truth.