Our Funny Page

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XLVIII, Issue 15, 9 October 1912, Page 72

Our Funny Page

A PERSONAL RECOMMENDATION. Cockle Merchant (to doubting customer): “Try a pint, lady—they're fair tasty and nourishing. I has some meself every day!"

“We must go to Stratford." “What’s tho use? We can buy Stratford postcards in London." “My friend, one travels for something more than to send post-cards. I want to write my name on bhakespeare’s tomb.”

TTe —Tlie Smiths only invited me down to their place because 1 play a good game of golf. She (consolingly)—Oh, T'm sure rot must be mistaken!

Magistrate: “What ! Do you mean to say your husband struck you and he a physical wreck Mrs. Maloney : “Yes, yer honour ; but he’s been a physical wreck only since he struck me.”

Old Jones: “Can you give my daughter the luxuries to which she has been a,c cjstomed?” (,'holly (engaged): “Not much longer. That's why 1 want *"S get married.’’

“That man's conversation is awful—nothing but stale racing stories.” “ Yes, dear-horse chestnuts!”

STILL (ANOTHER CASE WHERE TWO HEADS ARE BETTER THAN ONE.

“I understand that T. A. Edison says that concrete shoes will be all the rage soon.” “Gee! I guess I’ll speak to your father right away.”

Augustus: “I’m not fond of the stage, Violet, but I hear- your father on tho stairs, and I think I had better go before the foot lights,”

Mother: “ You girls have stayed in much longer than usual.” Mildred: “Yes, mater. We find mixed 'bathing much more beneficial than the til’er!”

•THE HELPFUL MOTOR-CAR. thank you so much, zur! I’ve been trying all morning to catch this hen for & pie I want to make!”

Tie: “ What make* you think she is i.ot a girl to make friends?” Bhe: “ Because I never hoar any scuuiiai about her!**