Our Funny Page

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XLVII, Issue 26, 26 June 1912, Page 72

Our Funny Page

THE INTRUDER.

Wife “We need some new rugs." Husband: "Don’t- we need blankets more’" Wife: "Who sees blankets?” “And now. sir." thundered the bullying lawyer, "tel! the court what you were doing in the interim.” “I never went there," retorted the witness indignantly; “1 stayed in the smoke-room all evening.” “That chap next door is having a terrible argument with his wife.” “But I don't hear his voice at all.” “Why should you—when he hasn't epoken?* . _

Future Mall Carrier: "Why, here’s * letter from that flirt Thompson to Mrs dooes. I must read that!”

THE WAY OF IT.

“Aly wife is a lecturer, aad 1 am an entertainer,” said Hobbs. “Indeed? I knew your wife appeared in public, but I did not know that you ever did.”

“Oh, I don’t. I stay at home and entertain the baby.”

WHAT WAS UK TO DO?

Sunday-school Teacher: “You should not fight. Tommy. If thine enemy smite thee on the right cheek, turn to him the other.”

Tommy Smathers: “He gimme a jab on both cheeks, an' I didn’t have no more to turn to him.”

Little Girl (inquiring at ticket office) How much is it to L Station?"

“Irate Clerk: “Why do you keep ask-, ing? I've told you six times already it’s twopence.”

Little Girl: “I know Only my little brother likes to see you come to the hole. It reminds him of the Zoological Gardens.”

Now. that's the first breath of real air I’ve had since I left home !’■

“Waiter, this fowl is like rubber.” “Yes, sir. That’s why we call it spring chicken.”

“Do you always keep a-smiling about your daily duties?” “Naw: I look grouchy all the time. Then I ain’t asked to do no extra work." Bobby: “This sailor must have been a bit of an acrobat. Mama: “Why, dear?" Bobby: .‘ißevause the book -ays, 'Having lit his pipe, he sat down on his chest.’"

“THE VOICE OF SPRING.”

AS MOST OF ’EM LOOK AT IT.

“Mother, did you learn to cook before you got married ? “I did not. I married first. There’s no use learning a trade until you know that you're going to need it ”

THE ROMANCE OF A TRAPEZE PERFORMER.

COAIPLIAIENTAKY.

Maud.—Miss CHJun thinks that hotJ clerk just lovely. Ethel.—Why so ? Maud.—He wrote opposite her name on the hotel register: “Suite 16.”