(All Rights Reserved.) Tales of a Commercial Traveller.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XLVI, Issue 3, 18 January 1911, Page 55

(All Rights Reserved.) Tales of a Commercial Traveller.

By

R. Thomas.

NO. 3.—“ WHAT SORT” THE CARAVANSARY!

I T was not all beer and- skittles with the C.T.’s in those days. Both on shore, and on the water, the luxuries of travelling were few and far between. On wheels, our most comfortable and expeditious conveyance was “Cobb’s” coach; and in many cases travelling even by this means was far from agreeable. I well remember in the extreme North, on more than one occasion, jolting along the rutty and muddy roads on a bullock dray, and dodging my sample trunks as they Hew about from one side to the other, as this or that wheel sought diligently for a sound basis of operations. None but leather eases would stand the wear and tear of trips such as these; and even their rivetted corner pieces fre-

quently opened their months in silent laughter, and forgot to shut them again. There was an old codger I well remember, who lived either in Pieton or Blenheim, but more often on the road between these two places, and it sometimes happened that, in order to catch

a steamer, or perhaps work a point on an opposition rep., we were compelled to engage this old fellow's trap. To this day I have been unable to classify the thing. It was a hybrid; a cross between a four wheeled buggy, an Irish jaunting car, and a cart. The horses—save the mark—were usually two in number, bony, disreputable animals, although on grand occasions, such as Hood time in the rivers, when we, for the greater part of the journey, struggled through the mud up to our axles, a

leader would be providentially discovered in a wayside paddock, covered with encrusted mother earth, and perhaps mange, owing to its low condition, and appropriated by our driver on the principle of

"necessity knows, ete.” How our jelnr settled with the owner of our leader we never could find out; but the matter—under the eireumstauces —did not trouble us much. He, the joint, not the horse which was sometimes a she, always carried a set of extra harness on the off chance.

By the way I may remark about the harness, in passing, that very little of it was composed of leather. It is true that there were a few pieces of what had some resemblance to leather—such as • winker, and forehead strap, originally

part of a bridle, a. portion of a collar 1 , very dilapidated, the remnants of a saddle', and, possibly, one trace; but I won't be certain about this last necessary adjunct to vehicular civilisation. Of one thing I lam absolutely sure, however, mid! that is that the bulk of the harness was composed of llax, either in its native condition as pulled from a bush beside tho track, or in the form such as one sees in mattresses of the lowest grade; not bought in the shop “d’yer mind,” but collected from some drying ground in the district when the moon was under a cloud. The natural llax would serve handsomely for traces anil hanging gean generally; and that which had been scutched acted splendidly as chafing preventer when attached to the collar and saddle. 1 well remember that on one occasion, my cruel fate made it neees* sary for me to make a hasty trip front Blenheim to Pieton, and no other mode of conveyance being available at time, I was compelled’ to charter tho “Caravansary.” . . . i Well, after an earnest controversy on the subject of "how much for the job,” I climbed over the front wheel—there was no step—and selected the softest spot I could find on the rotten old cushion which only partially covered the» seat. When finally at an anchor, an effort was made to start our two horses, who, during our deliberation on tho question of finance, had taken the opportunity to recruit nature with a nap. After a chorus of •‘gee-aping,’ 1 and select blasphemy, not to mention a vigorous application of the whip, the difference of opinion as-to whether the vehicle was intended to go backwards or forwards, was finally settled, and we starred from our Hotel at a pig canter, amidst a chorus of cheers and jeersf, from several etable boys and public house loafers. For if hundred I yardsor so we kept up an encouraging rate of speed, but soon—fat too soon alas!—our animals settled down to their stride of. some four miles per hour, which, by dint of whip thong, and cussing, was continued until we reached the heavy section of the road 1 - when our real trouble commenced. Owing to the road being covered with mud and slush,' it was impossible to locate all the holes; hence, I found my time fully occupied in holding on to the seat, and earnestly watching the wheels on my side of the ark, sO that before they could quite wriggle off, I could notify the driver, who would pull up, jump out, and, with a nail taken from his stock of travelling appliances,’ replace that which had jolted out of tho hole in the axle; and thus prevent a wheel from parting company with us. This sort of thing happened more than once during the trip referred to; which' fact did not seem in any way to annoy my driver; who, between the storms, so to speak, would plait half a dozen or so more crackers for his whip, and whistle and cuss alternately, as occasion demanded. In the course of conversation with this quaint individual, I discovered that for every two miles or so covered without an accident it was customary for the traveller to register refreshment to ba absorbed later on. As a rule tho journey of twenty miles was never accomplished without one or more wheels coming off, and numerous fractures of harness taking place, principally in th* trace department, all of which male adventure it was considered etiquette to usual remedy. But to continue. Night had long since call “serious accidents” requiring th* overtaken us before wo reached tuo first; wayside hotel, which wo caught in th* act of putting up its shutter*. Exhausted, and thirsty, wo adjourned to tho bar, and in the language of tho driver struck off two wets from our registered list, I have to this day a vivid realisation of the refreshment tendered. 1 drank the Sul nip without •

thought as to its ingredients, for, to tell the truth, I needed a reviver, and the second followed quickly as a result of the thirst created by the first one, thus not permitting time for reflection. —that

came later on. What those drinks were composed of it would require an analytical chemist to determine. The landlord called them whisky, but, no matter, they were fire water at any rate and served to warm me after my wet and cold ride.

As for my friend the Jehu, he lapped up the mixture as though it were nectar, and seemed annoyed because I found it physically impossible to make a third attempt to swallow the vile stuff. After remounting to my perch cf misery, we again made a start to continue our journey, and had not proceeded far when, on going down a hill, I felt a bump, and just managed to catch a glimpse of the port hind wheel -aS it rolled rapidly down the decline in front of us whilst I personally turned a complete somersault, and landed on my head in a mud hole on the road side. It is perhaps needless to say that the horses, owing to their amiable disposition, stayed their rapid course, and patiently awaited events.

By the time that I had picked myself up, felt my joints, and other portions of my anatomy with tender touch to discover their condition of soundness, and scraped a little mud off my clothes, my friend the driver had returned, having succeeded in capturing the truant wheel. Our united efforts eventually resulted in creating a “status quo” and we proceeded on our journey. I felt quite grateful (for the first time) to our animals, in that they were not travelling at ten miles an hour when our accident occurred. Had such a rate of speed been attained, there is no telling what might have resulted; broken bones in all probability. At this stage of proceedings my driver thought it incumbent on him to make me an apology for the eccentricities of his turn out. He said that some of the C.T.’s did not mind these trifles; but as this was my first trip with him he would like—as a real toff should —to say that he was sorry for the trifling mistake of one of his wheels, and. would be glad to shout for me on our arrival at Tieton as an act of grace, so to speak. Of course I received his apology graciously, and the “entente cordiale” was reestablished. To make a long stfory short, we eventually readied our destination after what may be justly considered a hat full of solid adventure; and I lost no time in taking my sore bones to bed, declining emphatically, and I fear somewhat, ungraciously, to accept my driver’s invitation to partake of the flowing bowl. I left the good gentleman carefully examining the two sovereigns I had reluctantly given to him. Whether he tested them with his teeth, or by some other method known to science, I did not stay to see.

So much for my first visit and only journey in Lewis’ cavaransary. Memo—Old reps, on the Marlborough circuit in New Zealand will recognise this sketch as absolutely in sympathy with the reputation of Lewis’ mode of doing business.