Our Funny Page

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XLV, Issue 21, 23 November 1910, Page 76

Our Funny Page

3.N “ACCIDENTAL.” 'I hear the tenor is laid up with a sprained ankle,” said the baritone. “Yes,” giggled the soprano, ‘ lie slipped on an organ peal.” DIPLOMATIC. “No, 1 can never lie your wife.” “What ’ Am I never to b • known as the husband of the beautiful Mrs. Smith?” She succumbed.

MADE HIM SICK. De Tracker: “The killing of that jockey in yesterday’s race was a horrible affair, wasn’t it?” De Better: "Horrible, horrible! Just made me siek. I had all my money on that horse.” ‘‘The sea resort you were speaking of is a pretty gay place, isn’t it?” "1 should say so! The only thing there that isn't dissipated is the fog. ’

*T-t-t*ke anything you want' D-don't mind me; I’m only a visitor like yourself.

.Willie (on the roof-garden): How email the men look down there, Papa. Willie's Papa: No wonder, Willie. They are all going home to their wives.

READY FOR THEM. Judge: “Will you tell the jury all you know about the ease?” Miss Jabber: “Yes, if they can spare the time.”

STRAINED RELATIONS AVOIDED. Russian Officer (politely) : ‘’Pardon me, I know you are a stranger, but it) will save me much trouble and questioning if you will kindly raise your hat aS tlie others do. Here comes the Czar."’ American (defiantly) : ‘T raise my hat to no potentate on earth. I am an American—a freeman, sir, born with the shadow of—” Russian Officer (struck with a bright idea) : “The Czar is very rich.” American (humbly raising his hat) £ “Why didn’t you say so before’”

Maloney: An' I prided mesilf I cu<l loight me poipe in any wind! TO STAY WITH THE OLD MAN. ‘‘Come indoors immediately!" called a nurse’ to a small boy whose father was going out. ‘ You won’t go to heaven if you're so naughty." ‘‘l don’t want to go to heaven." was the aggrieved reply; “I want to go wiiJi father!” CHANGED HIS MIND. “You are charged with larceny. Are you guilty or not guilty’” "Not guilty, judge. I thought I was, bat I've been talkin’ to my lawyer, an* he's convinced me that I ain't.’