Our Funny Page

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XLV, Issue 2, 13 July 1910, Page 72

Our Funny Page

IT’S ALL IN THE WAY YOU SAY' IT.

BY MABEL, AGED TEX YEARS: “Oh, here conies Papa!”

BY MABEL, AGED TWENTY ‘Oh, here comes Papa!”

THE FIRST HOP OF THE SEASON

(ioin' some! l‘A( ED TOO RAPIDLY. “Waiter. ask the orchestra to play pometling different.” ‘ An} particular selection, sir?” “Something slower. I can’t chew my food properly in waltz time.”

CORROBORATIVE EVIDENCE. ‘"Bosh!” says the sceptic. "What pr-oof can you give me that man is made of dust?” ‘‘Why, look at yourself,” argues the other man. ‘'You have a marble brow, an alabaster cheek, a muddy complexion and sandy hair.” THE DI KE SCORES. Miss Pa-.se: That’s the Duke of Old«,suse. lie married a million. Mr. Blase: You don’t say! Well, he‘i got .Solomon beat a mid ALREADY PROVEN. “And before I accepted him,” Miss Passay was saying, “1 asked him if he would love me when I was old.” “The idea!” exclaimed Miss Bright “Why, if he proposed to you he had already proven that, hadn’t he?”

THE STARS AND STRIPES.

HE’S BOUGHT THE RING. Laura (a bit of a new woman): “Er—< George!” George: “Well, Laura?” Laura: “I—l think we understand each other, George; but—is it my place or yours to put the question, and ought I to speak to your mother about it, or ought you to go and ask papa?’’

A man was telling about an exciting experience in Russia. His sleigh was pursued over the frozen wastes by a pack of at least a dozen famished wolves. He arose and shot the foremost one, and the others stopped to devour it. But they soon caught up with him, and he shot another, which was in turn devoured. This was repeated until the last famished wolf was almost upon him with yearning jaws, when “Say, partner,” broke in one of the listeners, “according to your reckoning that I'ast famished wolf must have had the other ’leven inside of him.” “Well, come to think it over,” said the story teller, “maybe he wasn’t so darned famished, after all.”

A CAMERA FJENIJ Magistrate.—Officer, what is this man charged with? Constable.—He’s a camera fiend of tho worst kind, yer worship. Magistrate.—But this man shouldn’t have been arrested simply because ho has a mnnaia for taking pictures. .Constable. —It isn’t that, yer worship; lie takes the cameras. AMENDED. The Court —You will swear that tho prisoner stole your umbrella? 'f'he Plaintiff—Your Honor, I swear that he stole the umbrella 1 was carrying. AMBIGUOUS. “I wonder what the teacher meant about the singing of my two daughters?” ‘•What did he say?” ‘■fie said that Mamie’s voice was good but Maud’s was better still.”

THE INGENIOUS FARMER. lie was tired of turning out for automobiles, so be now keeps the middle of the road.

“Who is that?” “Must be one of those C-o-hens we’ve heard so much about!”