Our Funny Page

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XLIV, Issue 4, 26 January 1910, Page 72

Our Funny Page

THE MAN IN NEED. Th* director of a matrimonial agency •aye the young girls ask only; “Who is he?" The young widows: “What is his position t" i The old widows: “Where is he?’’

A JI'HY OF HIS PEEKS. •‘Gentlemen of the jury," sail the prosecuting barrister, ••this prisoner is • n unmitigated seoiimlrel; lie m l nowledges it. And yet, thanks to the wi-doai of the common law, h‘ has be-n given a fair trial by a jury of Uis peer*

BETTER PEAY SAFE. Esmeralda—How many times do you make a young man propose to you before you say A'es? Gwendolen—lf you have to make him propose, you’d better say Yes the first time.

"COMING OCT.” • r*o this is your daughter's coming-out dinner, is it?” a friend snid to a debutante’s father. "Yes," the stern old man replied, “and if 1 hadn't pul my foot down on that dressmaker, she'd have been out even further tlran she in.”

CAN ’YOU BEAT IT. Mabel: So you and Jack don't speak. What’s the trouble ’ Marjory: We had a dreadful quarrel about which loved the other most.

THE PROMISED LAND. Voice from Below: “Wait, Mister! Wait! Wait till Hiram has time to back up a little.” SALTY BOY. She: “Waste is sinful.” He: “Not always. I know a waist which is angelic!”

RETALIATION. Barber: Your hair’s very thin, sir. Long Sufferer: And you’ve got ibump on your nose, and one of your eyes squints.

The Actor: “There was a thunder of applause when I left the stage.” The Bored One: “Serves you right. You shouldn't stay on so long!”

CONCLUSIVE. ICmpioyvr (meeting former office boy who had lately enlisted) : •‘‘W hy, Blowers, 1 never thought you were Scotch.** Blowers: “No sir, I’m not, sir.” Former Employer: ‘Then how came they tu take you in a .Highland regiment!” Blowers: “Me ’air is red, sir!”

“Hurt you, bill?” “No, I guess not; I only fell from the second story.”

HER ONLY REGRET. The Bride "Oh, darling, on. - honeymoon was just the loveliest ever.” The Groom: “It certainly was, dearest.” The Bride: “ I have only' one regret—l uray never have the pleasure of going through mother!"