Anecdotes and Sketches.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XLIII, Issue 16, 20 October 1909, Page 71

Anecdotes and Sketches.

Grave and Gey, Epigrammatic and Other wise.

Identified. a MAN who was “ wanted ” in Russia had been photographed in six different positions, and the pictures were duly circulated among the police departments. The chief of one of these wrote to headquarters a few days after the issue of the set of portraits, reporting as follows: “I have received the portraits of the six miscreants whose capture is desired. I have arrested five of them, and the sixth is under observation and will he secured shortly. <§><s><s> The Eavesdropper Gets a Shock. Soon after dark a young man and a woman on a ferry-foat withdrew from the other passengers and went into a deep shadow at the rail, observed by only one person, who was near enough to hear the conversation. “ Egbert, we have reached the end,” said the woman, “and it is just as well that the water hide me from you for ever.” “ Consider before you commit such a rash act,” he answered. “You need not think of me, but of those dear to us.” “ You mean the children?” “Yes. You would darken their young . lives with such a memory ? ” “ They can go with me. Why should they live, to suffer, perhaps, as I have Buffered? ” “ This would make you a murderess,” he said. “No, you!” she answered. “For it is your act that drives me to it.” “ In the name of heaven, consider for a moment, Beatrice,” he exclaimed. “Consider?” she repeated. “Have I considered for five years, since the

night that woman came between us? Since the day that your love departed from my life, and ” “ There,” he said, interrupting, “you have made the same mistake that you made before, and cut me out of two of my best speeches. That * love departed’ is at the bottom of the next page.” Then they both laughed, and the listener moved away disappointed, for ho had been hearing the rehearsal of part of a play. <3> <» <•> It Was a Hot Day. A very stout old lady, bustling through the park on a sweltering hot day, became aware that she was being closely followed by a rough-looking tramp. “What do you mean by following me in this manner? she indignantly demanded. The tramp slunk back a little. But when the stout lady resumed her walk he again took up his position directly behind her. here,” she exclaimed, wheeling angrily, “if you don’t go away at once I shall call a policeman!” The unfortunate man looked up at her appealingly. “For heaven’s sake, kind lady, have mercy an’ don’t call a policeman; ye’re the only shady spot in the whole park.” ❖ <s><s> Surely Not. Jimmie (aged five): “ I’m goin’ to have a birthday party to-morrow, at six o’clock, ’cause I was born at six on the first of May. When were you born, Bobbie?” Bobbie (aged six): “I was born at eleven o’clock on ” Jimmie (interrupting): “ O-ob, Bobbie! You know your mother wouldn’t let you sit up that late!”

A Feather-bed Soldier. The Duke of Connaught has always been very popular in his military capacity. The servants in his household adore him. Soon after he took up hrs command at Dublin, some few years ago, his valet came to him, asking for a fortnight’s leave. The duke noticed that he gave no reason, but granted him permission. Exactly eleven days after the man returned, and then -the duke demanded his reason for wishing a holiday. “ I wanted to have a fight, sir,” was the reply, “ and I knew I would get badly marked. But I’m all right now again.” The duke immediately became interested, but it was a long time before he elicited the fact that the valet had been fighting a man who had referred to the duke as a “ feather-bed ” soldier. <s><s>«> An Unreliable Dog. “Come right on in. Sambo,” the fanner called out. “He won’t hurt you. You know, a barking dog never bites.” “Sure, boss, ah knows dat,” replied the cautious coloured man; “but ah don’t know how soon he’s going to stop barkin’.”

The Season's Pickings. It was a candid and graphic answer said to have been given by a London waif to a Salvation Army captain. The zealous officer had asked the boy what work he did to provide him with food, etc., and the reply was: “I piek strawberries in the summer, I pick hops in the autumn, I piek pockets in the winter, and oakum for the rest of the year.” ■s><£><s> In Diplomatic Circles. At a dinner given by the Prime Minister of a little kingdom on the Balkan Peninsula, a distinguished displomat complained to his host that the Minister for Justice, who had been sitting on his left, had stolen his watch. "Ah, he shouldn’t have done that,” said the Prime Minister, in tones of annoyance. “I will get it back for you.” Sure enough, toward the end of the evening the watch was returned to its owner. “And what did he say!” asked the diplomat. “Sh-h,” cautioned the host, glancing anxiously about him. “He doesn’t know that I have got it back.”