The Koboldclatterman.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXXIX, Issue 8, 24 August 1907, Page 47

The Koboldclatterman.

Pray do you happen to have seen Specks, the Sperm-whale?” asked Matilda the Mermaid, of Craps the Pilot-fish. “Let me think!” said Craps, thoughtfully: “Yes, Miss, to ba sure; you will probably find him over at his new lodgings. Pink Coral Reef, No. 54. you know. Anything important?” ho added, for he was an inquisitive old fellow. “Thank you for your information," said the Mermaid. “Important? Weil, yes and no; I want a fresh supply of oil to polish up my tail scales!” j “Oh,” said Craps, “is that all?” Away swam Matilda, and as she drew near the coral reef she could tell that Mr Specks was at home, for she recognised his deep bass voice as he sang: • Then up he jumped with a one, two, tl. ree. Now catch inc -f you can! I’m the bold rover of the seas. The Koboldclatterinan! Northward they sped, southward they sped, Yea. east and west they ran. But not a glimpse could the fleetest get Of ihe Koboldclatterinan!” Here Specks, the Sperm-whale, paused, and then said to his wife: “Give me my old pipe, Missis, and I'll be ofi about my business!”, Then he turned and saw Matilda, who said: “Fair fishing to you. Mr. Specks!” “Thank you. Miss, and fair swimming to you! If 1 may make bold to guess, it is oil that you will be wanting for that beautiful tail of yours!” “Oil it is, and here is a conch shell to put it in. Thanks. And now, Mr Specks, won’t you please finish your song?” “Song?” queried the Sperm-whale with a smile; “it would do me proud, 1 am sure, but unfortunately I don’t know more than the two verses!” “Oh dear, how . very tiresome!’’. cried the disappointed Mermaid. Then she brightened up; “And.whp was the Kobold —what-d’ye-call hini?j’_ The Sperm whale shook his head ami answered^siidly: “The-Koboldclatterinan? Nay. that I can't tell.>you,.<Mi.sK, honour bright!” . . , t . r “Worse and worse; but if you don’t know, someone else might. Now, do think who is the most likely to know of all your acquaintances?’ •“Well./’ sni;d (he Sperm-wlijile, considering, “you can’t do betetr than consult Pipes, the Stormy-petrel; he is a great traveller, and knows more, perhaps, than any of us watermen. Yes, Miss, you ask Pipes!” “Thanks, and have you any idea where he is to be found?” “Hen! I am afraid 1 haven't. All L know is that Victuals and Pipes are never far a pa it!” “Then I will look for Victuals,” said Matilda, hopefully, “and I think I can’t do better than follow the track of ves“May I oiler you a lift a part of the way Miss?” asked the kind-hearted wliala “I accept, with pleasure!” said the Mermaid. Off went Specks, carrying Matilda on his broad back, and, by-and by, set his passenger down in the track of the big ocean liners. There they were voyaging this way and that across the “Herring Pond.” as the Atlantic is called. The dinner hour had just passed, and the stewards <>f the various vessels were busy throwing overboard the remains of the various feasts. All kinds of delicious food floated in the wake of each ship. Above, hundreds of birds hovered expectant. Y’ou might have seen the greater and lesser gull, the owl. cormorant, indican, kittiwake, osprey, ostrich and albatross: the air was tilled with the commotion of flapping wings; on all sides resounded the clamour of the birds. ‘Come on!'* they said, encouraging each other. “Ami may good digest ion wait on appetite!” Matilda looked and listened, and then recognised the voice of Pipes, the Stormypetrel. She was too wise t<» interrupt him. but waited patiently until he had had enough Io eat. ’l* hen she s.|id: “Ah, how d'ye do, Vv Pipes, I hope you have bail good fishing?” “What ho! is it you, then? Ah. ha? J have had indeed a scrumptious feast, starting with pickled pork and ending

with curried lobster! Well, how goes it in the land of Mer!" ‘‘So so,” replied Matilda; “all my folks are tolerably well, thank you. 1 have cotne to ask you about a private matter!” and she told of Specks and his song, ending with, “And now, dear Brother Pipes, who was the- Koboldelatterman? Only tell me and 1 will give you one of ruy polished scales as a reward!” Pipes’ eyes glistened. He said: “Not at all; surely ‘virtue is its own reward.’ Still, ’tis a lair offer, and I accept it in the spirit in which it is made. Let us rest awhile on yonder reef whilst the process of digestion proceeds, and 1 Will endeavour to arouse Memory, the warder of the brain!” Upon reaching the reef the bird closed his eyes, folded his wings, meditated profoundly for a few moments, and then be gan: “Perhaps you think that it was ‘once upon a time’? Well, then it wasn’t! It was 150 years before then! In those far-off days, of course, there was a lot more water about than now. And there were Dwarfsi and Dwarf esses and Ogres and Ogresses, and Griffins and Flying Dragons, and such like creatures. There were no Mermen and no Mermaids, for as yet Hie land of Mer was not. The dwarfs had to walk upon stilts, and they had to take great care how they moved over the wishy washy ground, for a slip might, Lave been attended with dismal conseqtiences. ’Tis true that ‘he who is down need fear no fall,’ but a dwarf on stilts was likely to be drowned ; so you see they needs must be careful. “Now ogres and ogresses dearly loved a nice plump dwarf; boiled, roast or fried, it was all one to them. And they laid their heads together and hit on a pan for filling their larders with dwarf meat. They ate oranges wholesale and scattered the peel broadcast, and the dwarfs slipped on the peel and fell down like ninepins on the wishy-washy ground, and there they were on their backs and sprawling, an easy prey withal to their ferocious foes. “And herein the dwarfs ran a chance of being exterminated, but for the griffins. Griffins are uncommonly partial to cake—cake with plenty of peel in it. And these griffins became diligent searchers after peel. What the ogres threw down the griffins picked up, and took it home right joyfully, saying to their reBpeetive wives, the griffinesses: ‘Hurry up. my love, and make it into cake.’ “Now, just as dwarfs wore a savoury morsel for ogres and ogresses, so griftins were a savoury morsel for the great dying dragons. And while the griffins were particularly busy picking up peel, the Hying dragons took a mean advantage of them; they used such unguarded moments to swoop down and carry them off.. And as more and more griffins got eaten up, peel accumulated on the wishy-washy ground; and dwarfs fell victims in increasing numbers to the greedy ogres and ogresses. What wonder that the dwarfs at their wits’ end exclaimed: ‘Unless we can manage to circumvent our foes we shall be as extinct as old brother Dodo in less than no time!” “A meeting was called at which suggestions were invited. “'Grease the stairs!’ said one. “It was objected that there wasn’t enough grease. “ ‘Give them a cup of cold poison!’ Suggested another. This was voted an excellent notion, but unfortunately impossible. “At length someone put forward the idea: ‘Comrades, let us seek counsel of the Koboldclatternian!’ ” “Now the story begins to be interesting!” said Matilda the Mermaid; “pray hurry up. Brother Pipes!’* “Well. Miss, this Kolsoldelatterman ■Was reputed the cleverest of the whole rare of dwarfs; a kiwi of hermit he was. and he lived in a twisty twiny cave all by himself, near Doubledam, in Holland.

“And a committee of seven of the most inlluential dwarfs ami dwarfesses waited upon him and said: ‘Look you, Mynheer, we are. continually upon the jump, our lives have become a burden unto us. owing to a paucity or lack of griffins; daily in ever-increasing numbers we glide into the silent tomb. The gnat Hying dragons consume the griffins. and the ogre and ogresses consume us, and verily aa grass U grass and bay is hay. we’re here to-morrow and gone to-day!’ “And the Committee lifted up their Voice and wept, and their tears mingled in one (oauuon stream. ‘The KoboMclattennan rose up in

wrath, and strode up and down the twisty-twiny cave. Said he: ‘Dounerblitz! now datsh my wig! Not another dwarf need hop the twig, If he or trtie will list to me! The land is dangerous — then try the sea. My notion's this to build and launch. A vessel wuh timbers stout and staunch; • I myself will her captain be. And our-home henceforth is the sounding sea!’ “ ‘lt is indeed very kind of you,’ said the Committee; ‘we will consider your valuable suggestion and communicate with you again!’ “Then they withdrew, doubtful as to what their wives, the dwarfesses, would say about it.” “My! and what did they say?” asked Matilda. “Well, there, the proposition made a fine to-do, 1 can tell you! You see many of the dwarfs were bad sailors, and those who had never been to sea were shy as to tempting the perils of the deep. They said: ‘lt might be out of the frying pan into the fire!’ which was true enough. “So the Committee again waited upon the Koboldclatterman. He heard them patiently, and said: ‘Let those who can't abide the ocean, Live underground — that is my notion!’ “And so it came to pass that most of the dwarfs made their homes underground, and these are known to this day as Trolls. “The rest enlisted the help of the fairies, and built a big ship that could not sink; she could sail with or against the wind. Then, with the Koboldelatterman as their captain, they sailed away, faring to and fro on the face of the waters. Perhaps because the ship was built by fairy hands her crew were able to do without] food or drink; this was convenient. And as the years went by they got thinner and thinner, until you could have seen right through them! In this manner they escaped the ogres and ogresses. Well, for hundreds of years they have been sailing, the ship never puts into any port, and calm or storm makes no difference to her progress!” “Oh, I should dearly love to see her!” cried Matilda, in her enthusiasm splashing the water with her tail. “Would you indeed, Miss?” replied Pipes; ‘then let us see if we can find her! ” Then he and the Mermaid directed their course southward, until they reached the Pole at the end of the earth. There, where the ocean fals bodily over the edg of the world, they pulled up on a little island. Bless you, they were in no danger of falling over, for they were not quite so near as all that! But where they waited the sea was oil up-and-downy. and the whirlpools were all curly-whorly. And by-and-by, Brother Pipes suddenly flapped his wings and screamed: “Hurrah! here she comes!” And sure enough the magie ship came in sight, moving against the wind with all sail set. As she neared the roek, Matilda made a trumpet of her hands and shouted: “Ship ahoy!” At the words a dwarf made his appearance on the high poop of the vessel. He was dressed in the fashion of long ago. Seeing Matilda, he politely raised his three-cornered hat and waved it thrice. In another minute the vessel reached the end of the world, and disap peared from view. The Mermaid turned to her companion: “Could your sharp eyes read the name of the ship, which was painted on the stern?” “Aye, aye,” replied the bird; “The Flying Dutchman!” “And the dwarf who raised his threecornerd hat?” “Was the captain, of course!” Now, though the last mermaid has long since disappeared, owing to the so-called “march of civilisation,” the Flying Dutchman is still said to sail the ocean. But at sight of the phantom ship with her shadowy crew the boldest mariner stands aghast, and his fate is doomed who has aught to do with her skipper, the Koboldclatterman !