Bravo, Adolphus!

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXXIX, Issue 5, 3 August 1907, Page 47

Bravo, Adolphus!

Sonic people reelll to have a peck of trouble- For instance, there was the Fitrltudor "family. The father, poor man, was swallowed by a tiger, and all that was left to identify him by were ten niet.il buttons. The mother was caught ill a mincing machine, and, being chopped up into ever so many little bits, there r.a s an end of her. Obadiah, the eldest son, was unfortunately shipwrecked on one of the Cannib il Islands, and as he Was never heard of again, it is feared that he furnished a repast for the simple savages. These sad events happened within a week, and at the early age of eight Adolphus Plantagenet, the youngest son, was thrown an orphan upon the cold world. Just then the bank failed, and he lost his little all. And then—would yon believe it? —the family residence was totally destroyed by fire! Oh, poor Adolphus!

No, he did not abandon himself to despair. Resolutely dashing away the unbidden tear, he set himself bravely to consider the history of bygone heroes. “ et’s see! ” said he, totting them off on his fingers, “ there was Jack of beanstalk notoriety, Aladdin of the wonderful lamp. Dick Whittington and his cat, who was thrice Lord .May or of Loudon. .With such shining examples before me, it is strange if 1 can't make at least a living. 1 will start with three strings to my bow—beans, lamps, and a domestic ent.” Such was his resolve.

A sympathising corn chandler gave him some beans; another sympathiser an assortment of old lamps; and he made friends with a cat, which was, like himself, an orphan—its name was Nebuchadnezzar. He and the eat agreed to adopt the simple life, and set up housekeeping together in a nice dry cavern on the mountain side.

The beans were planted in a neat double row before the door, and although tlwv disappointed expectations in not shooting..up . to. the sky, they grew at least seven feet high, and their leaves protected the occupants of the eave from the sun. The cat kept house whilst Adolphus went to market to sell his beans. They fetched 2/ per peck, and the pioc-cads of his sale he invested in oatmeal and lentils for himself and a pennyworth of, lights for Nebuchadnezzar. ‘ And as the total expense of hoU'Sekeeping was two groats a week, there was always something over to put in the savings bank. Of the beans that, remained unsold, some they ate and some were stored for winter use. As to the lamps, no amount of polishing brought a genic, but the cleaning made them at least saleable. As io the third string Nebuchadnezzar. he was both ornamental and useful and it remained to be seen what more. It chanced one day that Greymalkin, the Emperor's chief nrouser. died; Whereat his Imperial Majesty was in great distress. Wringing his august hands, ire cried: “Toll, toll fi> r the eat. Greymalkin Is dead. Ami having said that, there's n.i more to be ’mill. How great was his worth! Where, where shal '1 Hii'l, Smh another Grleymnlkin, a eat to my mind?" It was, indeed, a serious condition of affairs, for the country might now be overrun with mire. Then said the Lord High Chamberlain, “Let ns insert irn advertisement in the daily press, and see what will eome ot il.” “ Hravo!” cried the Emperor; “very good indeed, pray draw upon my treasury for any sum yo i need.” Oil the strength of that, the following advertisement appeared in the “ Imperial Screccher”: “Wanted, an Al up-to-date Cat. A regular mou-e terror. None other need apply to. in the first instance, the Lord High Chamberlain.” In consequence of this, his Lordship was besieged with cnt-applie.irts; Per sian, Maltese, Manx, yellow, piebald, cross-eyed. After sorting out the lot. six only remained, and they were turned loose in the granary to sec what business they could do. The be~t caught twenty mice a minute, whereas the de eeased could cat eh fifty When this was reporter! to the Emperor, he wept. Now Adolphus Plantagnnet heard of the advertisement and the terrible up set at the palace, one day when he was marketing. And he said within himself, “ I know why those cats failed, they were all too plump and well fed! ” When he went homo ho told Nebuchadnezzar what he had heard, nnd ended by

Saying, “ You shall practise a still more imple life, for you shan’t have any food for a. week.” Poor Nebuchadnezzar! You may fancy how ravenously hungry he was by then, whereas the mice grew fatter and less nimble, for there was no Greymalkin to chevy and chase them. Then Adolphus took Nebuchadnezzar to the castle, and there with the Lord High Chancellor’s permission, the cat was introduced to the mice. And when the business was over, whilst the cat with a smiling face sat licking his chops, ths Lord High Chancellor hastened to tell the Emperor: ‘‘Your Majesty, as I'm alive. He’s slain a hundred and twenty-five! I counted the corpses one by one. And in sixty seconds the deed was done.” Said the astonished Emperor: "Go quickly as you can, or faster; Bring me the hero and his master!" When they appeared before him he asked many questions. On hearing of the Fitztudor family calamities, and that Adolphus was of gentle blood, he Said: ".Should you like to be one of our personal train, Pray speak to the Lord High Chamberlain ; Ami Nebuchadnezzar chief mouser shall be tt’o our Imperial Majesty.” And Adolphus made joyful answer: "Thanks awfully. Sire, the cat and I, In your service will do or die.” This was excellent business. Adolphus Plantagenet was so willing and useful that he soon became a general favourite. He had princely board, lodging, and clothing, and his earnings brought him much more than the sale of ibis' beans. As to the cat, the granary gave him plenty of occupation for some long time, and when there was scarce a mouse left to squeak ho was employed in various parts of the country with equal success. Jie wore a gold collar on which was emblazoned the Imperial arms and the letters M. 0. E.—Mouse-Catcher Extraor-

dinary. The destruction of so many mice meant an enormous saving in corn. And as corn became more plentiful, it became Cheaper and cheaper. This was an immense boon for the people, but it did hot suit the chief corn merchant. He had been making an enormous profit, and as now that profit lessened, so his grumbling increased. He said, “It the silly Emperor had not engaged that silly Cat’, I should be making a pot of money, but I’ll be even with him.” So this bad, rich man fell to considering how he should kill his liege lord.

One day, as he was passing through the castle grounds, he chanced to spy the Emperor in the distance. Like Queen Anne he sat in the sun. and on his lap Was Nebuchadnezzar. For every Wednesday he gave himself a holiday from state affairs which, you know, are rather taxing.

Year in year out he sat on the slope Of the hill, sheltered from the north and facing the sunny south. Immediately this bad, rich man formed ti plan for destroying, at one feu swoop, Empero and cat. He nursed his thougnts of vengeance until the winter, and then he went to work. First of all he felled n big tree and chopped off the branches. From it he cut a length of twenty feet level all round, and this immense log zested on the ground a mile above the epot where the Emperor was wont to eit upon his golden throne. A long lever iwas so arranged that, by means of it, the log could easily be set rolling. There came a. day- when the ground Was so slippery with ice that the hill Was on<- great slide. The bad, rich man Waited till noon; he saw the Emperor Bitting in the sun with Nebuchadnezzar. Then he chuckled softly to himself and hastened to the hill top. Pressing with nil his might on the lever, he started the big log rolling over and over down the hill; faster it went and faster, straight for the golden throne. In another minute the occupants of the throne would be smashed beyond recognition. Alas! a lasl

At this supreme moment Adolphus I’lantgenet chanced to come along on his sled. His eye took in the awful situation at a glance. With a warning yell he threw himself desperately in the path of the impending danger. O course, it was impossible to arrest the log; his Only hope was to divert its course, therefore. he opposed one end with all hi* ■night. But in a second ho was over* whelmed.

His clever idea, however, had worked

successfully; the log swerved slightly, but it was sufficient to clear the throne by just six inches. Yes, Emperor and eat were saved, but at what cost! Looking in the direction of the warning shout, the Emperor saw two legs sticking out of the snow; it was all that was left Of a hero! The Emperor adjusted his eyeglass. Said be: "Alas! those ends I have in view. Seem to pulsate a last adieu! Strange hot it haunts me more and more. That I have seen those legs before.” Nebuchadnezzar rushed to the spot and began frenetically to paw up the snow, whilst the Emperor shouted for help. A gang of navvies going to their dinner fortunately heard, and, spade in hand, ran up. “See,” said the Emperor, pointing, “that column of ascending breath augurs life, not death!” The men worked with enthusiasm, and soon Adolphus Plantagenet was dug out. Yes, there he lay inert who once had been so spry. The Court Physician now applied the stethoscope. “Well?” murmured the Emperor anxiously. “Sire, he still breathes!” was the joyful reply. Adolphus was borne carefully to the castle, and there, with skilful nursing, he slowly recovered from the terrible shock. When he was convalescent, the grateful Emperor thus addressed him:

“Heroic youth, why — dash my wig — The cat and 1 had hopped the twig, But for thy courage rare! ’ In honour then of what thou has’t done, I now adopt thee as my son, And thou Shalt be my heir!”

And behold, this saying of the Emperor became law! And the moral of the story is this: That however much an orphan you may be, however much your bank may break, or your residence be devoured by fire—DON’T DESPAIR—and it is possible that, like Adolphus Plantagenet Fitztudor, you may one fine day find yourself an emperor. Who can tell?