Things a Woman Should Not Tell.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXXVIII, Issue 7, 16 February 1907, Page 47

Things a Woman Should Not Tell.

Confidence between; lov.rs is an excellent and most desirable attitude of mind; between irtitn and Wife it is essential to married happiness; there can bo little joy or peace in .the household which harbours doubt and r distrust as daily companions. ‘ Biit cdrtlidcnCe is one thing- eon fl-' de'rtil’s qtfite another; the two are to the full as diddi-ent'as ate nerve and nerves. It is not ndebssary to thorough confidence between people that the two

should share every thought, should express every- feeling: still less, that they should tell one another all that they know. Indeed, a wise and delicate reserve, even concealment, is more conducive to sympathy and affection than the blunt frankness which blurts out its opinions and tells all its knows, without stopping to think how the telling may affect the hearer. Moreover, it is a, true saying that: "Where ignorance is bliss, ’Tis folly to be wise.” And there is a possibility that one maybe misinformed or mistaken as to the point of view. The fruit which lost our first parents Eden was that of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. The question of what and what not to tell, both Irefore and after marriage, is one which must b? influenced in its answer by* circumstances and governed by tact and discretion. There are some things which may be forgotten and done with, as one closes a finished chapter in a book which one has read for the last time; there are others which it is impossible to forget, the consequenc s of which must endure for a lifetime, perchance longer. These last no man or woman has the right to conceal from any who is to share that life. It neither is wise nor well; it is dishonourable to enter into matrimony with a ghastly- skeleton hidden in a closet, of which, with its gruesome contents.. .the party of the second part is kept in ignorance until flight is no longer possible. When the bones have been buried beyond chance of resurrection, and the closet, swept, scoured, and garni slud, lies open to view, apparently just like any other household cupboard, and to the full as innocuous, it may lie. as the French say, quite another pair of shoes. In a popular novel a clever woman of the world advises a newly-married friend: ‘‘Always tell your husband what you feel sure he will find out anyway. It is a good plan to have the first telling of whatever may be told about you or your affairs.’' Which, since there is much, sometimes everything. in the art of putting things, is sage counsel. When there is an innocent secret which cannot be kept after marriage, and which, were it known beforehand, possible might make a difference in the f-.cling of the one who discovers it instead of lieing honestly informed concerning it, it is wiser from even a selfish standpoint to own up to it before marriage. "Open confession,” then, is most assuredly “good for the soul.” Nobody likes to be cheated, and few there lie who forgive it. There is an element, of jealousy in the love of some men and women which prevents them from enjoying the bliss of the present and drives the mto search out the past. • As for the man he, always wants to feel sure that the woman of his choice never has loved, and never will, nor eau, love anyone but himself. Which is why the newly-engaged love is given to asking again and again: “Did you ever love any other man?” To which query th- woman who is wise will answer discreetly, without incriminating admissions. . But above all it is unwise for any woman to become confidential and show her husband old love letters. in the first place, it is dishonourable, since, when a. man asks a woman to marry him, ho pays her the biggest eoinpliihent in his, power, and if she refuses him she at least is bound not to boast of her victory. Then, also, a more self-interested motive should, control her and keep her silent. A husband rarely is well inclined toward the man who has made love to his wife, even Is'fqre hy eame on the scene. Ho always has n; sense of injury when his wife speaks of the other man kindly, and, while he may say but little, the fact re-

mains that he does not like it. So the less a woman tells her husband of her old love affairs the better for her and for him.— Helen Oldfield in the "New York American.” - •fr + +