An Evening of Thrills.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXXVII, Issue 24, 15 December 1906, Page 18

An Evening of Thrills.

(By

Edgar Wallace.)

I said to the lady who issues tickets, "Two of the most expensive seats in the house, please. We are representatives of the enlightened Press of England. My friend, who has otherwise lived a blameless life, is. alas! connected with a Kadieal ”

•‘Three shillings, and not so much lip,” ■aid the lady, so we passed in. ‘ The theatre was packed. Nobody applauded the overture, but when the band began a tender movement and the lights went out, silence fell upon the 3/, 2/, 1/6 mid 1/ parts of the house, and the voice of the man who ealls in the police spoke admonishment to the cheap seats, “Give-a-little-oider-tbere-earhti-her?”

T’he scene at the rising of the eurtain revealed to us that part of a ship which only exists in melodrama. To the right was the captain’s cabin. Above this was the bridge, on which the captain stands with his telescope when so disposed. Tn the centre of the stage was a basket chair with cushions, and up stage were the bulwarks. When the eurtain rose the crew, which in melodrama has the run of the quarter-deck, were chivying a poor Eyetalian. Poor Beppo! He had an organ and earrings and a long knife, and said, “Sy Sig nor,” but as one of the crew (the humorous steward, who is in love witli the heroine’s maid) said. “These foreigners take the bread out of an honest Englishman’s mouth.’’ (Cheers.) Later, when the chivying becomes pronounced, and Beppo draws the aforesaid knife upon humorous steward, and humorous steward turns back culls as an earnest of his intention of ■■showing how an Englishman is not afraid of a cowardly knifing foreigner” —(cheers) —the captain arrives, and savs. “Hold, lads! He

(Beppo) is only a poor foreigner amongst strangers, so you should be kind to him’, and show him that Eng-lish-men ean respect a fallen foe!” (Cheers.) Beppo says, ‘"Me poor Italian, signor, but me grateful; Heavena bleasee you, signor.” Exit with organ playing “Home, Sweet Home.”

The captain—all alone, for the crew have now retired seats himself on the basket chair and takes the audience into his confidence. His soliloquy runs to about half a column, but it may be condensed.

Captain: “So we arc nearing England; Well, this is my last voyage. lam taking home my savings -one hundred thousand pounds. Yes, 1 have diamonds in yonder cabin to that amount. It is all ■for my daughter, who is going to marry Young Harry. Ah me! 1 wish the ship Would move faster.”

[Enter the Adventuress, in yachting Costume and picture hat.l Adventuress: “Ah, Captain (aside. "The old fool"), I hear you have got £lOO,OOO in diamonds in your cabin. Will you show them to me? 1 love diamonds.” Captain: “Yes, I have, 1 wiU.slmw them to you later. I always like to Oblige the fair sex. They are all for

my girl, who is going to marrv Young Harry.”

Adventuress (starting back): “Heavens! Young Harry.” Captain >,(not noticing her perturbation): *•.¥«?. Excuse me for a minute, .Miss Grey. I must go and navigate the ship. (Exit.) [The Adventuress seats herself in the basket chair and talks to tile audience for ten minutes.]

Adventuress: “Ha, ha! So the Captain has got £lOO,OOO in his cabin. If the drug 1 will give takes effect he will not have it long. Young Harry is married to me, but the marriage was not legal when 1 married him. I had already thiec husbands,, poor dears! . I am supposed to have died in Florence, but. I am still alive. And I have a mother, curse her; I hope she is dead. Ah! Captain.” (Enter Captain.) Captain: “Come into my cabin.” (Sunset. all the stage red.) “1 will show you the diamonds. I always like to oblige the fair sex.”

Adventuress: “Yes. I—will conic.” (Enters cabin. Moonlight, all the stage green. Enter Beppo, playing “Home, Sweet Home.” Adventuress and Captain come out of cabin.)

Captain: “flow strange my head feels!” (Adventuress sneers.) “Come on to the bridge.” (Both go up to the bridge over cabin; Beppo plays “Home, Sweet Home” furtively. Captain leans over rail.)

Captain: “How swift the water runs.” Adventuress (hitting him on the head): "Die!” Captain: “0 Heaven!”, (falls over-

board.) Adventuress: “Ha, ha, ha! the hundred thousand pounds arc mine!” (Sees Beppo. who is now playing “Home, Sweet Home” without any attempt at concealment.) "The Italian!” (Curtain.) The Radical and 1 went and drank stout.

The second act was the entrance-hall of the Trocadero. On consulting my programme T discovered it was one of the poor captain’s country seats. The Radical said this gives the lie to the oft-repeated statements made by Captain Kettle and other naval authorities that the mercantile marine is under-paid. 'I he captain’s daughter is going to marry Young Harry. Some one else loves her. His name is Guy, and he is a villain. On the py.egrainme he is tersely described ast a " parasite.” Guy is a friend of the Adventuress, and when they meet outside the church where the marriage ceremony is going on, and when the Adventuress casually mentions that one of her husbands is getting married to the girl the Parasite loves, he gets fearfully annoyed, and wants to stop the w <>dding. “No,’ says the Adventuress,,“ it is all light, for when I married him I already had four husbands — poor dears. These papers show that he is not legally married to me.” Peal of bells. Wedding party come out of church. Bride and bridegroom. Humorous steward ami maid, village idiot and two young men in caps. Y oung Harry secs Adventuress, clasps his forehead, and says, “ Her second time on earth! ” Bride looks put out. "This is your legal wife,” says the Parasite, pointing triumphantly to Adventuress. “ No,” says the Adventuress, loudly, “I am not his wife.” (Sensation.) The Radical and I went into the bar and drank stout. Beppo returns in the third act. If he bad been wise he would have waited for the fourth. , . Young Harry (entering hurriedly, to his bride) : “ Dearest, your father is alive.” Adventuress (aside): “Ha!” Parasite (aside): “Ha!” Y oung Harry's Bride : “ Thank Heaven! ” Young Harry: “Alas! bis mind is gone! He was picked up by a passing steamer.” Young Harry’s Bride: “Alas! my poor father! ” Parasite: “Beppo would betray you.” Adventuress: “Then be must be got out of the way.” (Enter -Captain. Tie has grown quite a venerable white beard, and is quite mad.) Y'oung Harry’s Bride: “ Don’t you know me. father?” Mad ('apt iin (passing his hand wearily before his’eyes): “T always like to oblige the lair sex. Oh, yes, I will showyon the diamonds. I’m always polite to the fair sex.” Young Harry’s Bride: “Alas! he is mad.”

Humorous Steward (now a gardener; all humorous stewards become gardeners): "Poor old eaptainj_h:*’s dotty.” (l aughter. > Paiasite: “He does not recognise you.” Adventuress: "No; now to kill Beppo.” Scene: A rocky eoast, with lightning. Beppo comes in without liis organ. Beppo: •■• Me poor Italian sig-nor. You J>ay poor Beppo mooch money he no betray you; no tell captain ze lady kill him and steal ze diamonds.” (Parasite hits him on the head with shovel. Adventuress sticks knife in ribs. Beppo accordingly dies. Parasite and Adventuress bury Beppo in sand —- rea 1 sc. nd. Next morning Mad Captain, Young Harry and Bride, and Short Doctor with Bernard Shaw beard come to rocky coast, toy idly with sand, dig up Beppo. Consternation of Adventuress.) Captain • (clasping head—his own head): "Beppo! Bep! Why. yes! I remember all.” (Sees Adventuress). “Ah, you! There stands tlie woman who stole my hundred thousand pounds!” (Curtain.) In attempting—in the last act —to stab Young Harry’s Bride, the Adventuress stabs herself. In the hospital the Parasite visits her with a few presents: (1) large silver-plated revolver; (2) small phial of deadly poison. Adventuress, in bed, with her hair down, curses Young Hany, curses Mad Captain—now. happily, no longer mad —■ curses her mother (who, by the way, is dead in the next bed), curses Harold (whom I’vc forgotten to mention —I don’t mean the Radical, whose name is also Harold), and shoots at Young Harry’s Bride, hits Parasite, who falls with a wriggling whack, takes poison, falls across bed, dies, etc. “ YY’hat can you recommend in the drink line? ” asked the Radical at the first, restaurant we entered.- The lady behind the counter thought a while: “YVhat about stout?” she suggested. EDGAR WALLAGE. (In London “ Daily Mail.”)