OVER THE TEACUPS

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXXVII, Issue 21, 24 November 1906, Page 47

OVER THE TEACUPS

BOUDOIR GOSSIP FOR LADY READERS . . .

The Power of Beauty. What a strange and wonderful power is a woman’s beauty—an old worn, this, yet an ever new truth. It is like a fairy tale spell, exceeding all the spells that have been east on made humanity. We alhjlike beauty, and even with children we-' exclaim on seeing a pretty child, “ What a darling! ” without waiting to see whether it really is a darling or not; but the power of woman’s beauty with man at least is almost unlimited. Ijam reminded of this by a little story 1 heard only this summer about a lovely friend of mine. She had taken a house near the sea, and not many weeks ago the Channel Fleet was anchored in her neighbourhood, and she and all her house party were, of course, greatly interested in these solemn and terrible defenders and destroyers of human-life and human property'. She herself was particularly anxious to go out and see a real destroyer or a battleship. She, therefore, sent out her brother to reconnoitre, and he was received on board one’ of the 1 battleships with the usual naval kindness.

On his return home his sister asked eagerly, “ Well, can we go oh, Tom? ” “ Oh; I think _so,” . answered Master Tom; “ there was a chajX there who was awfully nice to me, and he said I could easily_bring you over.” AepordTijgly, the next day, hearing that arpiirimee liad landed--nt the pier to take some visitors out to the Fleet, my friend and her brother and her sister went down to the pier." There they found apparently the whole town ready to board the pinnace, but it was not a public visiting day, and rules in, the navy are as strict as -courtesy is great; ihgrethe captain were to come on board, fore, the officer, in charge of the pinnace shouted up .explaining.to-the crowd that only those ladies who had letters from This was, indeed, a poser for my pretty friend; but. sho. rose to the occasion, as pretty women ever seem to rise, and called, out persuasively. “ Qh, but my brother brought me a message from the captain yesterday, saying that we might all come on.” The officer in command of the pinnace hesitated for qne moment, then called up pleasantly', “T am awfully sorry, but our orders arc,, imperative, so perhaps, you will kindly forgive my asking you. the name of the Captain who sent the message.” - - - My friend had,, of course, no idea of., his name, and was about to retire grace-’ fully beaten, when a sailor who had landed from the pinnace and was stand-.’ ing behind her,.murmured in a sonorous' whisper, “ Captain Blank.” “Captain Blank,” called out the !ady< readjly, and, of course, wastaken on board. ’ ' L But her troubles, -;,alas! were not quite over, and retribution, as usual,? awaited evil-doing. .-Toiier horror, as they., reached the battleship’s 1 great sides, she , Captain standing at the of ’the stairway ueady; to welcome-l>i< guests, and heard.him Itail them by theij> names. \ , Tlilere was nothing t,Q do but -to “bluff it,”?]as schoolboys suh. dShe-.therefore heldt, out her hand wither eycr-ready and tieharming smile, iy»jd said deppefctiingly: “It was so vehji' kind 'of' 1 Capfaiin Blank, to seud-jhiS that message,,, abqnt coming over your ship—you know, thdj,message my brother brought me yesterday.” Sf|ic laptain, at the pretty, blushing face, repjgf'd, as he held out"a‘helpihg hand: • delighted ,tp I am

and this is your party?” and.be bowed a welcome to her brother and sister.

Now, to my mind, this required the immense and indeed almost incredible amount of moral courage that can only be found in a helpless-looking woman, and yet.it is only men who can ever win the Victoria Cross!

Beauty and Brains.

Most of the people who are at present wondering whether it is possible for beauty and brains to exist together mean by men with brains, business like men. Artists say that the finest men are the Italian peasantry of the do-noth-ing type. - Mi- Stackpool O’Dell, whose knowledge of brains is famous, remarks that if the Apollo Belvidere descended to earth to-day, he would probably be found in a very humble position—as a commissionaire, dr a'fobtman, or an artist’s model.

The average man would rather have a business-like brain than the beauty ,of Apollo—although there is an anecdote told of a celebrated man nicknamed “Brains” by his family. He never appeared- in the least flattered by the title, but one day when his wife playfully addressed his.as- he positively beamed with pleasure. Bald heads, puffy eyelids, parched skins, ill-proportioned limbs, unwieldy bodies, and unequally-balanced mental organs—these defects belong to the successful financier of the nineteenth century. His unbeautiful presence, says Marie Felling, looms more shadow-like daily against the twentieth century horizon.

Clean of limb, clear of eye, with welldeveloped organs of intellect, his successor presents a striking figure at the daybreak of the new century, which is to marshal in the era of brains and tyMr O'Dell has a courageous theory, that we shall swiftly approach that perfection when we shall have perfect brains and perfect figures. Athleticism and modern educational methods having for their central object a desire for th? beauty that exists in nature and art, are the two greatest factors upon which this transformation depends.'The craze for cycling and motoring is inseparably united with the growing love for Hewers. -• f. Acquisitiveness is no - longer the only organ that is developed in business men who take pleasure in the sights and sounds of nature. As to whether beautiful -women have less brain than plainfaced ones,'ho -writers seem? able to hell any-firm conviction. An-ordinary person on being introduced to a -pretty girl, if he s tojd-that she is very clever, will in nine - cases out of ten ex,-claim,’“l'lrank-goodnessj she doesn’t look it-.” . T , He moans by tins that-ahe appears womanly and charming.- Women who us > their brains to a. great extent are said to .atquirg a masculine' east of countenapee, but thih statement'- is of doubtful truth. Many actresses, writers, and singers can bf , brought to mind, who undoubtedly- eul|wgtey-their brain power, yet retain>so.tilfu-ljq.nd .womanly expressions,- A phim. lipman - who cultivates her -brains nearly, hlwayji gains in beauty. ,-The intellect, .sljitMtig through her dull features, redeppis thenr, from plain’ ness. Even ;> pretty woman, who has no brains can be liardyl be called pretty. Insipid, prettjncjs is so wearisomethat a plain ibfit animated face- is more! pleasant to look upon than a dull pref? ty .ope. ,i. H «rH

Learn to Laugh. According to a recent report a school is to be started in Paris to teach people how to laugh. The rippling laugh is said to promote digestion, stimulate the circulation, and thus tend to prolong life and preserve one’s youthful appearance. If ever there was a noble and philanthropic institution founded, and one that was calculated to fill a long-felt want, it is this school of laughter. What seicnce-as valuable as the science of extracting amusement from even the difficult situations of life? What philosophy as profound and helpful ns that which enao.es one to always see the humorous aspect of all of one’s struggles, and trials, and disappointments? What education as helpi.u as that ■which would teach youth to meet every' rebuff of fortune with a laugh. For the man or woman who, when downed in the struggle for existence, can laugh and try again, is invincible. ' The school of laughter ought to have brandies in every civilised and a course in it ought th be made compulsory, especially for girls. There is no other thing on earth that women need so much ah to be taught how to laugh, for it is to woman’s inability to look at things from any side but the tragic that 'she' owes most of her woes. ' When a group of men get together they tell each other funny'stories, and thereby cheer each other up and send each other on with a happy thought. - When women foregather they relate their misfortunes to each other, and burden their already overburdened sisters with as many additional melancholy facts as they can lay on them. This is merely the result of the woinen-musl-weep theory, which is the greatest fallacy ever started. Women mustn’t weep. ' There i.s no sense in it. It does no good, and as a general thing they have noJiing to weep about. They'ought to laugh. If we arc determined to see the amusing side of things we can do it, and women would add enormously co their happiness if, when they encounter the ordinary aggravations of existence, they would tack around until they got a cheerfuller view.

Most of us have had the experience of finding some situation excruciatingly funny in remembrance that was agonisingly tearful at the time. We had to live with Aunt Sarah, whose peculiarities were a thorn in the flesh. We got so offended at the club meeting that we picked up our little doll rag; and left. Unexpected company came the day that the children were down with the measles; the cook gone, when the cat drank up the milk, and the butcher forgot to bring the meat. At the time we tore our hair and beat upon our breasts, and contemplated suicide; but in after years these misadventures, that seemed so tragical at the time, formed the basis of our best after dinner stories, and the sad part is that, we did ;not enjoy the things that were really causes of laughter, instead of tears, at the time they were happening. The. mission of the school of laughter is to teaeh us to get such a perspective on the tribulations of every day that we will be able to laugh at them instead of cry over them. Jf women cun lie-taught-to lake themselves and everything else less seriously, it will inaugurate a millennium of eneerfuluess. The proof of tins is to be found in the fact; that no women are as beloved and as successful, both in t-.e home and btisi-

ness, ns those who are always smiling and good-natured, and who turn aside unpleasant happenings with a joke. Nothing can-be surer than this tnat when women cease to weep so much they will have less to weep about. The world is overtoil of hard and bitter knowledge, but there is too little laughter in it. DOROTHY DIN.

O G O G » The Wives of Captain “Z.”

I suppose beautiful women know by instinct that if they should be so led away as to tell a “tarradiddle” they can always rely-on the man who is-worthy of the name to help them out of it (says “M.A.F.”). To illustrate this once more, I remember an absolutely true story that 1 believe I have somewhere told before, but that will bear repeating, as there are many people who-have not heard it. -< At a certain publie function, when a Captain “Z” was head of the West End police force, a well-known society lady wished to take up her position at the corner of Hamilton Place, Park Lane, but was met by the burly- form of an inspector who barred her way with “Too late-madam; you cannot get across now.” “But- I am Captain ‘Z’s’ wife,” she pleaded with her most conciliatory smile. The inspector instantly made her a pathway -through the-erowd, and piloted lier across-the road. She thanked him with graceful profusion. As he left her on the opposite side be bent down with an impressive face and said politely. “I don’t know how many wives Captain •Z-’ Ims, madam, but yon are the fourth I have helped across this morning.”

Baby’s Struggle for Life.

SUIT UP ALONE FOR FIVE DAYS. That tiny babies have greater vitality, endurance, knowledge, intelligence and resource than even the fond mothers suspect is suggested by the remarkable struggle for life, continuing for live days, made by a fourteen-mouths-old New York boy named John Boyle. A poor, elderly, childless widow, living alone in a small tenement, adopted him out of compassion, and devoted to him from his birth all the affection of her lonely, old heart. As they had not been seen for live days, friends broke in the door this morning, and found the widow’s body on the floor. She had apparently died from heart disease. In another room they found the baby in a pitiful state of emaciation, but stilt alive. The condition of the room told a touching story of how the instinct of self-preservation had stimulated the latent powers, both mental and physical, of which no one suspected an infant of that age to Ire capable. That the child had been searching for food and had explored every corner of the home the evidence of the condition of the body and the rooms showed. His knees, elbows, and hands were sore and his elothea blackened with creeping about.

He had never been known to walk alone, but the lower shelf of the dresser had been cleared of cups, glasses, and platters. This was the shelf where the baby’s feeding utensils had always been kept, and it waa evident that his infantile obsr-rvation had comprehended the fact, for in order to reach the shelf be had to climb a chair. He had found some food here, and when this was exhausted had hunted elsewhere, pulled the tablecloth from the table, and had been rewarded with butter and a piow

:f bread, of whieh he had eaten every rumb. Part of the hard erust remaining wa< found some distance away.

Afterwards he had overturned a eoal•cuttle, used as a refttse-bin, where he had probaldy found some food, beeiuca two pieces of bread, too hard to eat, which were clasped in the little hands when the child was discovered. He had also torn the paper and plaster from the Wall, managed to climb to the windowsill, and had pulled down a geranium plant, of which he had eaten the leaves and the tender stalks. But the greatest proof of his intelligence is that he had found a leaky tap in the kitchen, and had licked the drops of water from the floor. He was lying by this when the pescueis entered. The hospital doctors believe that, fill hough he is terribly emaciated, the tmby'e struggle has succeeded in preserving his life.

Art of Happiness.

MME. GRAND'S LECTURE FOR THE MISERABLE. “All the recipes for happiness are ■imple. and the principal ingredient is always goodness. Of course, is presumed that we all want tn be happy, but there would appear to be some diversity of opinion as to whether we all Want to l>e good." Thus Mme. Sarah Grand in the course of a delightful lecture at the Bishopsgate Institute [London! on “Art of Happiness." Here are some of the lecturer’s points: Alan makes his own happiness or misery: yet there -s nothing he knows less about than how to make life worth living, although it must be confessed he understands the matter much better than woman. ■Much of the resignation exhibited by women is only stagnation. Women will deliberately deny themselves when men Will spend money upon themselves for their comfort. Great pleasures may be rare, but it is the enormous variety of minor pleasures that make up the happiness of life. Plea-ure to be perfect, must be earned. Pleasure is in every act of choiee; those who choose to be miserable enjoy being miserable. Perhaps one of the rarest pleasures of life is when we make the discovery of the worth and beauty of character in an enemy. All through the ages humanity has inade astonishing efforts to be miserable. Neither man nor woman should enter the bond of marriage except in the spirit Of devotion and sacrifice. One of the great sources of happiness is a definite purpose in life. Some women fly to marriage, others to suffrage: but these latter are the untrained and undisciplined.-who do not understand life. “In the quest for happiness," said the lecturer in conclusion, “we cannot do better than put in practice the precepts of the great Persian—first, tne good thought: second, the good word; third, the good deed— and then I entered into paradise.’"

Her Sphere.

There is one branch of a woman's education which is sadly neglected in English countries, often to the detriment of the health and well-being of the nation as of the individual. When a young girl leaves schoolroom days ■behind, say, at the age of IS years, and perhaps emliarks on the matrimonial sea of adversity, what does she know of the proper upbringing of children 1 Nothing whatever. Does she know anything useful about the mysterious garments which enswathe lhe infant, and could she arrange them consecutively correctly* 1 think not. Ask her what is a binder or pitchers, and she “has not the slightest idea.” But ask her what is a “bunker,” or the meaning of the term “chicane,” you will Im> surprised at her volubility. Then when the vicissitudes of maternity are thrust upon our young friend, of what Use is her golf and bridge*" When travelling on the Continent I was greatly impressed by the custom of the French girt to prepare her “dot" almost as soon as she had learned to Void a needle. At one school I visited at Versailles a sewing-class was in progress, which 1 imagined at first glance

to be a doll-dressing competition. The dolls in reality were plaster casts of infants of all sizes, and each girl was making a baby’s outfit, and competent directors overlooked her work, aud instructed her in detail as to the arrangement of the garments. This outfit was, I found, the first contribution to the “dot.” Then as a finishing touch to her education, the demoiselles received a by no means superficial knowledge of the correct treatment of infantile indispositions. Surely the well-being of the individual is fully assured if the mother commences her career on correct hygienic principles.

I heard of a case where He and She. accompanied by It, decided to visit friends afar off, and en route were accommodated at a boarding-house. She travelled without nurse, so that, when It's bedtime arrived She bathed, then dried It, while he held the “slippery little beggar,” and gave impracticable advice. Then came a grave crisis. What garments should go on first* Of course He did not know, and as It’s cries became tempestuous He allowed It must have swallowed a button, and sternly administered a dose of oil. She now sought the aid of the landlady, who having reared a family of 15 sons, had some slight knowledge of how to deal in the case and quickly- overcome their difficulties. But suppose there had been no landlady to appeal to’ TALUNE.

Heads and Matrimony.

A writer in a monthly magazine, as a result of acute observation of the human head, puts forward the advice that no lady should think of marrying a man with a head less than twenty inches in circumference. This is because people with heads under nineteen inches are mentally deficient, and with heads under eighteen inches, “invariably idiotic.” If our authority is correct, the advice is sound, but how best to follow it presents difficulties. Until the relations between any- modest young lady and a young man become such that she is already thinking of marrying him, it would a little hard for her to, suggest that he should allow her to run a tape round his head. The request would seem so unusual that a man with a quite abnormally developed cranium—• presumably a peculiarly eligible partimight take suspicion that the lady was herself mentally deficient, even idiotic, and at once assume a chilliness of manner by way of breaking the ground for a curt note setting forth his unfortunate change of feeling towards her. Again, deplorable mistakes might take place. It is quite painful to imagine the position of a young girl who, taking a hasty- snap with the tape round her lover's head, found him well over the standard, married him, and discovered after he had paid a visit to the barber's that she had counted in two good inches of hair, and was mated to an eighteen-inch head after all. Love is notoriously blind, so of wlfht use can a tape-measure be.

Queer Ways of Putting It.

FUNNY ANSWERS OF SCHOOL CHILDREN.

The head-mistress of an elementary girls' school who takes the trouble to make accurate notes of the funny written answers (to say nothing of those viva voce) whieh she receives, finds that she acquires an interesting collection in a year or two.

The following specimens of odd statements are quoted exactly as recorded, without the slightest exaggeration or touching up by even a single word, from various essays- on “Cruelty to Animals”: •

“Dogs are very useful: when people cry they generally rub there head on there shoulder to show thev are sorry.”

“Cats and dogs are sent to cheer us up. Besides they are dumb and cannot retaliate themselves, but lions can, if you go to hit a lion, it will spring fiercely on you. or rather I should say if you went near it.” “We have to return the thanks to cats and dogs because they both protect us from noxious animals such as rats, beetles, etc.”

“Dogs are of great use to us because they sometimes save our lives from falling into the water.”

“If we take a kitten away from their mother it depends upon us to feed it and bed it.” “Toads and frogs are put into the work! to eat the insects that we don’t like to have in the place.” “Toads mid frogs arc not made to leave stones thrown at them.” “We are jestified in kilting a dog that is mad or has got any dieease such as the mange or any other dicease.” “The best way to kill a dog is to give it something to take to send it to sleep and so that it never wakes up again.” Here also are remarkable feminine views on “Domestic Economy”: “The object of clothing is we should preserve our clothes for summer and winter the uniform of temperature should be ninety-seven degrees.” “If we have high heels boots it will injure our mussels.” “If we get a ehill or dirty we will catch the fever quick.” “We should never wear tight clothing, because it twists the inside out of order.” “Blood you could not live without sometimes it helps to digest the food. Nerves help to mack you strong, we could not do without nerves.”

Choking on Nothing.

Referring to the case in which a French surgeon was reported to have treated a poor woman who was convinced that she had had a lizard in her inside for forty years by an imaginary operation, followed by exhibition of a lizard obtained for the purpose, the “British Medical Journal” says:—“A like device has often been successfully practised in similar circumstances. To show the length to whieh imagination may carry a neurotic person, we may- mention the case of a great lady who had an ineradicable persuasion tiiat all kinds of foreign bodies found their way into the throat and stuck there. Nothing was ever to be seen, but she was not to lie satisfied with the most solemn assurance to that effect. So she went, spluttering ami choking, especially when she went out to dinner, till life became a burden to her and to those about her. At last she found a physician who relieved her suffering. As he has long since gone to a place where he sleeps unvexed by the imaginings of hysterical patients, there can be no harm in telling how he did this. The method was simplicity itself. He laid in a stock of small coins, fragments of bone, feathers, small tangles of hair, pieces of wax, and the like unconsidered trifles, and triumphantly removed one or the other of these objects as the occasion required. This may be condemned by the righteous as quackery, and quackery of a kind it undoubtedly was. But if the real end of medicine is to cure, can she. when legitimate means fail, afford to despise anything that relieves suffering, even though the suffering be imaginery* Or must all such sufferers be allowed to drift into the net of the quaek who applies his imaginary remedies, not for their benefit, but for his own!

o o a « a Culture Without Reading.

“A Brahmin” writes in the “Madras Mail”: —“To call Hindu women ignorant argues ignorance in those who say so. It is a misnomer. Not to be able to read and write is a defect, of course, a mechanical defect, not an intellectual one. Reading and writing are only a means to a higher education, not an end by itself. How can these women be called ‘uneducated* when their intellects have been developed and their natures cultivated under a system of education long in vogue in India, though very different from what is known to us at the present day! How can the intellect of the race have been kept up under the supposition that one-half of the community- is in a state of barbarism? How do you account for a Hindu woman who does not know how to read and write being able to quote text after text of Mann? There are Hindu women who know the whole code of ethies as contained in the Dharma Sastras of Manti, and the whole of the I’uranic literature of the ancient Brahmins. Indeed, the Hindu woman appears to my humble understanding to lie the most cultured of her sex in any part ol the world.” -•— —