The Graphic FUNNY LEAF

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXXVI, Issue 23, 9 June 1906, Page 64

The Graphic FUNNY LEAF

MAN OF REGULAR HABITS.

Medical Adviser: “Jaggins, you are not following my directions. I told you three weeks ago last Monday to begin tapering off by taking a drink every other day.’’ Jaggins: “Weil, that’s what I’m doing, doctor. I don’t take a drop on Mondays. I drink only on the other days.” OLD HUNKS. Mrs Hunks: “Ezra, what is good for a pain in the jaw?” Old Hunks: “(live the jaw absolute rest."

Man in the Rear: "'Madam, would you mind keeping your head still? Occasionally I catch glimpses of the stage which disturb my train of thought.”

NOTHING ALARMING

Next Door Neighbour: "I was about to say—what’s that terrible racket up stairs? Is somebody having a fit?”

Mrs Hewjams: "No. That's John. He’s rehearsing the speech he is going to deliver to-morrow night before the Universal Peace Society.”

WOMAN S READY SYMPATHY

Wearied Father: They say that no matter how one suffers, some one has suf feted more. All the same, they couldn’t beat me in this business, for 1 have walked this child the entire night for fullv six hours. Mother (calmly) : Yes. Henry dear; but suppose you lived up near the Pole, where the nights are six months long?

TOTAL FAILURE.

Mr Ferguson was in a high state of indignation.

“Laura,” he said, “what have you been doing to my new safety razor? It’s ruined!”

“I didn’t know it was a razor, George,” answered Mrs Ferguson. “Norah tried for half an hour to slice potatoes with it. and then gave it up. She says it’s of no account.”

THE EVER READY.

Policeman: This man is an impostor, sir. He pretended to be lame, and was getting alms from the public. Justice: But, Officer, the man is lame. His limp is too real to be assumed. Policeman: It is now. your Honor. I hit him a clip that gave him something to limp for.