Thee Diner's Safety Valve.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXXVI, Issue 23, 9 June 1906, Page 16

Thee Diner's Safety Valve.

[At a fashionable restaurant a well known eim-use whistles daily after dinner.] If aught of yore had dulled mv knife Or cook had burned the gravy ’ I used to grumble at my wife ’ Or thunder at the slaver. Ko longer now I shout and scream Or urge the maid's dismissal* By way of letting off the steam. I whistle. When blades rebounded from the veal <>r beef resembled leather. It was my wont to say a deal About the regions nether; But now. if dishes turn out queer Or meat is fat and gristle ' Instead of -What is this, 'my dear?” I whistle. Digestion waits on appetite. Or eagerly or slowly, According to the gammon's “height,"’ Or weight of roly-poly; And should the viands disagree No more with wrath i bristle'. But simply strike a minor key. And whistle. St is a privilege to dine. And praise or blame the victual Approve or otherwise the wine ’ In manner non-committal. That all may inwardly digest This delicate epistle, Ko further words I use; the rest I whistlei