The Graphic FUNNY LEAF

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXXIV, Issue 21, 27 May 1905, Page 64

The Graphic FUNNY LEAF

Miss Alexander: It seems to me. Mr. Dawson, yon do everything well—billiards, golf, football, bowling, archery— Mr. Dawson: Well. 1 have my dear old father to thank for that. He really skimped himself to give me a college education.

OVERHEARD AT THE GARRAGE. “What's become of Toothorn!” "Oh he's putting in all his time on his new book. The Experiences of a Chauf“Auto biography?” WoVED HE WH AT? Nordy: 1 hate purse proud people. Now, I wouldn't join a millionaires’ club. Wouldn’t care to join one. would you? Butts: I don’t know that I'd care to join, but I’d lite to be eligible.

Office Boy: Kin I have a week’s vacation? His Employer: Why. you’ve only been here two days. Office Boy: Yes: but after I gits used ter de job, maybe I kin stand it longer.

DEAR ERIEXDS. Mr Goodlev: “Her age really surprised me. She doesn’t look twentyeight. does she?’’ Miss Snappe: "Not now; but 1 suppose she did at one time.” THE PROFESSIONAL MAX HE NEEDED. Mike: "Are ye much hurted. Pat ? Do ye want a doethor?” Pat: “A doethor. ye fule! Afthor bein’ runnod over by a •hrollev ear? Phat Oi want is a lawyer.” A HEAVIER LOSS. Hark! In the dark watches of the night they could plainly hear footsteps in the kitchen. ■’Burglars!” he exclaimed, hastily covering up his head. "'Oh. Henry!” sighed his wife; “I w sh I had your faculty for looking at the bright side of things. I’m sure it’s that Brown woman trying to entice niv cook away.’’ I»E F<.) R E 111 E DOCT( )R CAME. "boni be so selfish. Johnny.'* said a tond West Philadelphia mother to her little hoy, “let your baby brother plav. with your marbles a little while.” lie has hail >ix of them and kept them.” whined Johnny. “Oh. that will be all right. my son.” said the mother, soothingly, “he will give them to you again.” “No. he won’t.’’ "Why?” ‘‘He’s swallowed ’em.”