The Graphic FUNNY LEAF

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXXIV, Issue 16, 22 April 1905, Page 56

The Graphic FUNNY LEAF

SHE CLAIMED BOTH.

He: Would you rather be pretty or -he Sir’

INFALLIBLE.

••Doctor, isn’t there anything I can do for this seasickness?” “Why. yes. Try farming.”

IMPOSSIBLE. The coal man should be brought to see the error of his weighs. HUMOURS OF MOTORING. "Doctor.” said the man. “I have lost mv sense of smell. What would you do?” ‘•l'd buy a motor-car.” replied the doctor promptly.

"The labourer is worthy of His hire.” We desire To know, since labour’s labour. Why hire isn't hisrher. THE DIFFERENCE. "How Mr Gazzletool’s expression has hardened!” "Y es. answered Miss Cayenne. "He used to have a mobile countenance. Now it is an automobile countenance.” HEARD ON THE PIER. X\ hat kind of sail are you goin-j to use on your yacht next year?" . sked the enthusiast. "Sheriff's. I guess." replied the own r. who had just looked over the stewards accounts. NOT TOO MI CH PLEASURE. "I can't imagine how you can dislike work. To me it's real enjoyment.” said the father to his lazy son. “Yes. father." was the guileless response. "but I don't want to give myself up wholly to pleasure.” THE SPREAD OF KNOWLEDGE. Mrs Brown: \es. they're in Egypt now. and will spend the winter on the Nile. Mrs Malaprop: How nice! They'll get a chance to see all them Pyrenees and the Phoenix, won't they? MISUNDERSTOOD. Maud: "So that's a photograph of you and your handsome cousin Clarence, is it? You seem to be sitting pretty elose together. Where's his left arm ?' Mabel (blushing furiously): "He hasn't any left arm. He lost it in the war with Spain. 1 told him everybody would misunderstand that picture!” THEN HE WEAKENED. Little Brother: "Can’t you walk straight. Mr Mangle?” Mr Mangle: "Of course. I can. my little man; why do you ask?” Little Brother: “Oh. nuthin’. only 1 heard sister say she'd soon straighten you up when she married you. And ma said she'd help her.” THE REASON WHY. "He says he knows all the best people, but he doesn't seem to associate witn them.” "That's because the best people know him!” Nell: "Miss Anteek is the greatest one to worry about troubles that are never likely to come to her.” Belle: “Yes; she was wondering the other day if it's really true that there are microbes in kisses.”