The “Only-Daughter" Wife.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXXIII, Issue XVI, 15 October 1904, Page 62

The “Only-Daughter" Wife.

(By an ■’Only-Daughter’s” Mother.) Many men are afraid, of the “only daughter.” "She is sure to be spoilt!” is the pet argument. But she ought to be well trained, since her mother has had plenty of lime to devote to her. And an “only daughter’’ should understand housekeeping in all its branches. In a household of many girls, domestic duties are divided. One Superintends the linen, another the stores, while a third looks after the "fripperies,” such as the Howers, arranging the drawingroom, and setting oil the table to decorative advantage. The only daughter helps her mothei in everything. She begins social life earlier than the girl with many sisters; as a rule she is her father s darling, and a real helpmeet to him. Thus she gains a knowledge of the ways of a man, his tastes and dislikes; and usually, too, she learns how to manage him, and twist him round her slender white finger. And the man who is well managed by a woman —so long as he does not discover it—is the happiest soul in the world. If an only daughter has two or three brothers, she ought to make an ideal wife; for she will then have had a thorough training in all the intricacies of masculinity. An only daughter possessed of several brothers is usually very tactful in dealing with men. In a family of many boys and girls, these do not try and “get on” with all the others. They usually divide np into cliques;' twos and twos become special chums, and don’t bother very much about the rest. But the only daughter tries to get on well with the entire family. Perhaps she runs the gauntlet of a bit of spoiling. But the writer always maintains that a girl’s character is softened and sweetened by a certain amount of ling“Unkissed, unkind,” is a very true proverb. And in a large family mother is often too busy to devote much timft to the individual child. Of course, she loves them all; but there is so much to look after, and so many to divide her tokens of affection amongst, that the very ones who need her love most suffer terribly from hearthunger. The desire to be loved softens the nature, so long as the hunger is satisfied by a certain amount of the sympathy and affection it eraves. But in the rush ami hurry of a big family there is many a little heart which eats itself out in silent yearning for the token of love which are a child’s birthright; but of which, as one of a crowd, he gets but few. So a certain reserve and harshness is apt to form; the child looks to strangers for the love he ought to get at home. Sometimes the strangers are also too busy to show much affection. Thus a gradual withdrawing into his own nature, a certain coldness and reserve, may spring up. In an only daughter you will usually find less reserve. She is so accustomed to being valued and noticed ami petted, that she takes it for granted that every body likes her and is interested in ner. This in itself is a great charm. If there are no brothers, and she is an only child, there is a danger that she may be a. little selfish. She will not have learned the valuable lesson of “giving up,” which all the members of a large family have to take to as naturally as little ducks to water. On the other hand, the only child will not have had to face the friction and opposition and the fighting for her rights which is the rule in families of brothers and sisters. In some cases the family fights prepare the members for the world.

They learn to give and take, to exchange blows, to plan revenge, and to seek and offer forgiveness. But the process may harden and spoil a sensitive nature. The constant bickerings and

jealousies in which some sisters indulge cannot be said to elevate and improve » girl. The atmosphere of peace and calm an only; child has been used to makes far harmony in the home when she marries. A tendency to argue and quarrel are habits which—like ill weeds—grow apace. If a girl is accustomed to stand up for her rights, and fight for every privilege with a couple of sisters or several brothers, she finds it dull when she marries, and the opportunities of nervestorms and scenes are removed.

So she begins to quarrel with her bridegroom. And the fallacy that it takes two to quarrel is the most absurd error ever invented. One person can accomplish it to most artistic perfection !

The delight to a lover of wooing his lass without having to run the gauntlet of a regiment of critical brothers and sisters is almost too obvious to need dwelling on. Many brothers detest the men who pay attention to their sisters. Part of this is jealousy. Some of it is a kind of contemptuous pity for a chap who manufactures romance and sentiment over a girl “who is a good sort,” but having been their sister all their lives, presents no romantic possibilities to them.

And few girls are friendly disposed to men who fall in love with their sisters.

To begin with, he has shown such obvious bad taste! And Nell feels horribly “out of it” when the prospective brother-in-law comes a-wooing. In fact, the whole family feels out of it. And they think Doliy a cold-hearted little wretch to throw them over, and cease to take any interest in her own people, all for the first strange man who comes along. They forget that little Dolly is in the grip of a relentless power, stronger than her own—the law of Nature, which makes a woman forsake all and cleave unto her own masculine mate. Lastly, there is the ultimate advantage of any family heritage, furniture, and wordly goods wherewith papa endows his only daughter.