After Dinner Gossip and Echoes of the Week.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXXIII, Issue XVI, 15 October 1904, Page 17

After Dinner Gossip and Echoes of the Week.

Cabonr Day. ? ■ ■■■—a Labour Day will for all readers save those in Auckland (who will get their “Graphics" on Tuesday instead of Wednesday this year) have come and gone ere this number is in their hands, but after hoping the weather was fino everywhere, and all celebrations a success, one would like to gossip, for a> moment or two, on the holiday as .t was, as it is, and as it. might be. Origins ally, of course, Labour Day demonstrations were aggressive, and were part of the machinery used for securing certain rights and liberties for a certain section of workers, who then, as now, styled themselves the “working classes." Since then victories have been gained, compromises arranged, and legislation has made New Zealand the paradise of the labouring class and the artizan, and employer and employee have now combined to make Labour Day an occasion of frat ernal greeting and mutual rejoicings and congratulations over old difficulties settled. This is well—it is. indeed, very well; but cannot it be made even better? For how much longer are we to set up the absurd class distinction that only a man who labours with his hands has the right io the really fine title of working man? How absurd it is, and how mischievous, to style any one section of the community in New Zealand “the working classes,” and to consider that for some inscrutable rea-

son that section is to have more attention from the Government than any other. It may be said with confidence that we are all working men in New Zealand. A leisured moneyed class does not exist, and there are practically no drones in our colonial hive. Why, then, not all join in Labour Day rejoicings? Why leave it to a minority of trades and professions’ Why not drop forever the class distinction of “labouring man” and “'working classes," and as we all labour or work more or less hard make Labour Day a festival in honour of Work, the greatest influence in all our lives—save love ami religion, and not infrequently greater than those. For after all, Work is worthy of a day in its honour. We all like it, or, if we do not, we are not worth our salt. Grumble, wc may sometimes, but so we do at other things we love occasionally; but we should be very discontented without it, quite apart from pecuniary results. It is unfortunate that the fixture should come so early in the year when the weather is unsettled; but this might be arranged by consent, and a most joyous carnival arranged. It would be best to take the thing jovially, to make it a children’s day. A little nonsense now and then is, moreover, good for all. Wherefore Labour Day procession should be an amusement for all and sundry. The graver professions might be introduced into the procession in ways which would provoke much fun and amusement, and which would bring us all together under the magic sway of laughter. The trades would represent themselves as they do now, only all would join in—sailors, hatters, greengrocers, hardware dealers, and dozens of others. Law could be represented by some ludicrous representation of a mock trial, and medicine by alleged doctors distributing mock nostrums as the bakers now do with biscuits from a inode! oven on a trolly. And so on throughout the professions. It would look absurd, no doubt, but the absurdity would breed innocent merriment, and merriment would bring classes together in sympathy with tach other’s life bridge over distinctions .which are in colonial tp?plpty imaginary than real.

A Prosperous Colonial Concern. Shareholders in that go-ahead institution, the South British Insurance Company, have every reason to congratulate themselves on the splendid balancesheet which has been issued for the year ended August 31st last. Good or bad fortune plays an important part in insurance businesses, but, making due allowance for this, the credit for the present proud position of the South British is due to sound management. The shareholders are very fortunate in having a very business-like set of directors, but particularly fortunate are they in the general manager (Mr James Kirker), who has the company’s many ramifications at his finger ends, and knows exactly where business can he pushed and where it cannot. His periodical “rounding-up” of the out branches gives him a unique knowledge of the company's requirements and possibilities, and no man knows better how to use it. The accounts show that. the. premiums for the year amounted to £284,402. Losses paid and outstanding absorbed £159,550, or 50.10 per cent.; the management expenses were £OB 890, or 24.22 per cent, of the income derived from premiums; and the underwriting profit was £55,962, or 19.08 per cent., which is a most flattering testimony to the management. To the underwriting profit must be added interest received ( £20,139), making a total of £76,101, from which must be deducted £ 10,000, the additional sum required to re-in-ure current risks, and this leaves the net profit at £66,101. The dividend for the year is at the rate of 6/ per share—- £ 19,388. The sum of £ 10,000 is added to the reserve fund, £5OOO is transferred to the investment fluctuation reserve fund, and £569 is written off leaseholds and office furniture accounts. The balance to be carried forward is the substantial sum of £58,728 10/2. ♦ ♦ ♦ Colonial Humour, What sort of humour will wc colonials develop? The same as our forbears, would be the natural reply of nine out of ten, but that by no means follows. Take the case of America, founded from good An-glo-Saxon stock. Could anything be more diverse than the humour of the great continent and that of the little, island from which it was colonised? Have not the Americans twisted a well-known saying till it reads, “Laugh and the world laughs with you—-except the Englishman,” and does he not stand in their comic papers in the same position as the Scotchman does in ours? No, American humour is distinctly new, amt is, in fact, one of the very few new things that mark ninteenth century literature. We colonials have no humour of our own. They say that a sense of humour is the last thing that comes to a nation, so we have to de-

pend on outside sources for our supply, and will continue to do so till our own crop begins to sprout. We draw freely on both England and America, and to judge from the selections made bv the

newspapers we favour the American humour more than that of the Mother Country. Perhaps this is only natural after all. American humour is more attractive at first sight, and has a glitter about it that is very fascinating for the time being. It is bright, quick and keen, but when the laugh it caused lias died down there remains an unsatisfied feeling. You feel very much like you do when you have Haul some smart and cutting thing which has hurt the feelings of a friend. There is a sarcasm about a lot of American humour which raises the cynical laugh rather than the good-natured chuckle

which is really after all whal puts one in a good temper, and smoothes out the wrinkles caused by life’s small troubles and worries. As Sidney Brooks said when explaining to American readers what the immortal “Punch” is to an Englishman: “The American comie paper is like the professional funny man at a party. You listen and laugh for a while, and then you want to murder him. The man you are content to sit at the feet of for hours at a stretch is that quiet, .shrewd-look-ing old gentleman with grey hair, who has common sense and experience, and never cuts capers or tries to force the pace, but keeps you placidly chuckling as he holds forth—-in other words, outold friend ‘Punch.’" To those who hold these views, and I must confess I do, the manifest predilection of the colonies for the American comic papers is not very fascinating. Young colonies arc naturally dependent intellectually, as well as otherwise, upon older countries, so that it is not surprising if wo have not as yet developed anything distinctly original in the realms of the humorous. There is, however, a suggestion of newness about the jokes which are fathered upon that peculiarly colonial institution, the “backblocker," who is a sort of distant relation of the English Hodge and the American Fanner Hayseed. As mirrored in a very well-known Australian weekly paper, the back-blocker is not a lovable creature. He lacks the innocent ignorance of Hodge and the quaint mode of expression of Farmer Hayseed. His jokes are mostly about beer, and his conversation, which is coarse and repulsive, is noted for the frequency of a lurid adjective. As often as not the. claims of the joke lie in the fact of putting in cold type certain expressions which no person of self-respect or decent feelings would think of using. This lather questionably amusing person will no doubt have his short day and then drift into well-merited oblivion, taking with him his odour of stale beer ami doubtful diction. We will trust sineerly that his descendants will develop a. cleaner sense of humour. Colonials, though not what one would term quick-witted, have a knack of seeing the comic side of things, which augurs well for the development of a distinctive humorous literature. 4* 4- 4Noblesse Oblige 1 During the past week one or two of the larger metropolitan dailies in this colony have reprinted a very amusing article from the “Daily Mail,” wherein a rather unscrupulous American writer “gives away” certain members of the higher British aristocracy. The wideawake but cynically-minded Yank, who signs himself “An American Visitor, ’’ considered (it may bo explained to those who have not seen the article) that it might be entertaining to see Cowes liegatta and Goodwood races—the former comes last, by the way—amid aristocratic surroundings, and to mix for a week or so amongst the class of Mere de A cre. Money being no object, our friend with admirable acumen wasted neither time nor money in indirect endeavours. He simply advertised. He got several answers, and choosing that which seemed to him the best, paid some £IOOO for the month at the race-; and at the regatta, this ineluding introductions and acquaintanceships with some of the most notable and famous aristocrats whose names are to be found in the pages of Debrett. It has long been a joke that such arrangements between needy aristocrats and wealthy snoas could be made, but no really substantiated ease lias, so far as I know, hitherto been brought before the public. In “The Gondoliers," it will be remember-

cd, the Duke of Place Toro has a song on the way in which he and his Duchess supplement their scanty income. The following is, if 1 rcmemlier rightly, oaS «f the verses: ‘‘At iui<!d!e-etass party I play at ecarte. And 1 am by no means a beginner, To one of my stat inn. The reiaimeratiou. Five guineas a night, and my dinner.*’ That sort of thing, according to report, had been done several sorts of ways, and instances are on record of dowager countesses having undertaken tho ehaperomigc and presentation at Court of debutantes for a handsome figure; bul the new departure goes a good deal further. Had not a. respectable and responsible paper vouched for the credentials, one would have been disposed Io doubt the bona tides of the affair, but it now seems that certain members of the aristocracy are willing to turn their yachts and their residences into board-ing-houses for anyone who can afford the fairly still’ terms they are obliged tn ask. Nor is this all. It would now setm that our old nobility are beginning tn recognise that in their titles they have a far finer financial asset than that heretofore supposed. According to the ‘Daily Express.” fur the paltry sum of ten guineas a week admirers of the aris« tocracy will bo able to go yachting with real live lords during (he coming (Eng* iislo winter. This enchanting information is at present being discreetly com* mimical ed through the post to such persons as the directory seems to suggest are endowed with sufficient means to enjoy the delights of thi-i apotheosis of the ‘•personally conducted tour.” Here is a copy of the invitation, which I regret 1 have not time to reproduce in facsimile, as was done in our London contemporary. It U elegantly printed in copperplate, with an earl’s coronet in the corner, and reads as follows : THE EARL OF TANKERVILLE presents his coyiplinients to and on behalf of the invitation Cruise Committee invites him to join the Winter Cruise to the Mediterranean described overleaf. R.S.V.P. to The Lord Muskerry. Queen Anne s Mansions, London. SAV. Opening this document one finds (he composition of the “Invitation Cruise Committee,” and it is of a nature that should be sufficiently dazzling to satisfy even the most fastidious ami aspiring. It k set forth as follows: THE (J)MMITTEE. Chairman.- The Earl of Taukervillr. Committee.-- The Earl of Craven, the ’LonI Haddo, the Lord Braye. L. Vernon Harcourt, MJ’., Captain IL J). Chichester. lion. Secretary. The Lord Muskerry. For the benefit of any colonials who may contemplate making the cruise we give a few brief particulars of the noblemen who would be their hosts. ’lTie Earl of Tankerville.—Born 1852. Educated at Radley. Former midshipman R.N.; lieutenant Rille Brigade; A.D.C. to Lord Lieutenant of Ireland. Owns about 31.500 acres. Address: Chilling-ham Castle, Northumberland; Thorn ington I louse. (’ornhill-on Tweed* The Earl of Craven.—Born 1808. C aptain Royal Berks Yeomanry: D.L.. late A.D.C. to Lord Zetland. Lord Lieutenant of Ireland. Married Cornelia, daughter of Mr Bradley Marlin, of New York. Owns 40.000 acres. Address: Coombe Abbey, Coventry, and Ashdown Park, Hampstead Marshall. Newbury, Berks. Clubs: Carlton, Turf, Baclicloi-. Lord Haddo.-Born 1879. Eldest son of the Eart of Aberdeen. Is unmarried. Lord Braye (sth Baron). - Born 184$. Educated Eton and Christ Church.

Ijm> lit.-Colonel commanding 3rd Battalion (Militia) Jaeieester Regiment. Married Cecilia, daughter of Mr W. (*. XValnirsloy, 1873. Address: 4. Buckingham gate, S.W.; Stanford Hall, Market Harborough. land Muskvrry (4lh Baron), laic R.N’. -• Born 1854. Own* about ]5,000 acres. Address: Springfield Castle. Druincollogher, co., Limerick: Club: Carlton. Continuing, the circular issued in these genl lemon’s names goes on to state that: "The above committee lias been formed to invite ladies ami gentlemen of recognised social standing who are likely to form a congenial company for a pleasure cruise, to visit the Mediterranean during the coining winter in the Parliamentary recess. As this invitation is personal, the honorary secretary will be obliged by receiving the names of our guests who intend to accompany those invited. It is scarcely necessary to say that ladies will join the cruise.’’ Several items of information given in this section of the circular are worthy of note. First it will be seen that the "guests” will secure their status in society for all time as the noblemen who invite them will "recognise” their "social standing.” Apparently, however, the obliging ami noble hosts do not expect to know everybody who joins the cruise. That is probably why they lay <mcouraging emphasis on the fact that the invitation is. "personal.” It is not explained exactly what the privileges secured by this ••personal” invitation will be, but presumably the "ladies and gentlemen of recognised social standing” will have the honour of shaking hands with one of the noble lords as they step up the gangway. Presumably, too. one of the noble hosts will always be in attendance to amuse the "congenial company.” No ordinary yacht would, in fact, accommodate lhe anticipated rush of people of “recognised social position,” so an entire Atlantic liner has been beepoke for the occasion. This vessel is the Canada, a "twinfecrew ocean liner, r with a tonnage of 10,000, belonging to the Dom’niou Line. The cost of the cruise, the circular goes on io say, will be about ten guineas a week and upwards, according to the value of the berth selected. There are. however, a few points still to bp cleared up. What. for instance, ■will be the social status of the guests when they return home? Will invitations to baronial halls follow the conclusion of the cruise? This must positively be settled before you and I and other "Graphic” readers cable for our tickets and our berths. It is funny, but it is also rather •tad. No doubt there is no harm, but it is rather a blow to find the great families of the Empire willing to sell their titles in this way for a few pounds a week. It upsets one’s ideas of what ought to be. and jars against One’s sense of the eternal fitness of things.