The King’s English Abroad.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXXI, Issue XVI, 17 October 1903, Page 63

The King’s English Abroad.

‘MEALS AT EVERY O’CLOCK. English and colonial visitors on the Continent have from time to time sent home amusing instances of foreign efforts to address the British tourist in his own barbarous tongue. Here are a few. culled from signs in Continental shops, hotels and other places of public resort Even cultivated Paris supplies a few amusing blunders in her struggles with our uncouth lingo. A restaurateur in the Gay City wished to impress on the hungry tourist that at ihis establishment food could be obtained at any hour. After much labour he evolved the following: "Meals at every o’clock! ”

A hairdresser in the Rue St. Honore sought to attract English visitors with the weird announcement, “Hear to cut off hare”; while a Palais Royal baker appealed to those who liked their macaroni

fresh with “Macaroni not baked sooner ready.” Switzerland supplies a plentiful crop of quaintly worded notices. Concluding an enthusiastic account of his hotel, a Swiss boniface gives the candid information that “Wines at this hotel give the visitor nothing to hope for.” Another advertises “Plain and artful baths.” Desirous of vaunting the maturity of his cheeses, a Swiss tradesman says: "These chees are not too childish.” It is well known as the thing to do when visiting the Rigi to watch the sunrise; wherefore an hotel there gives out that "When the sun him rise a horn will be blowed.” This kind of English seems considerably more childish than the extolled cheeses of the worthy Switzer tradesman. Having made the usual distinction between casual visitors and those who pay by the month, having resolved on a lengthened stay, a Swiss hotel proprietor exhorts the latter thus: "Monthly gentlemens will have to pay my fixed rate made with them at the time, and should they absent day in month they will not lie allowed to deduct anything out of it. because 1 take from them less rate.” After Ihis, one does not Hindi from such minor eccentricities as "Backed apples” and "Strewed prunes,” which fearful ami wonderful dishes have been known to figure on a Swiss menu. In Italy, near Pompeii, the following curious announcement appears in the circulars of a large hotel: "People will find equally thither a com plete sortinient of stranger wines and of the kingdom, hot and cold baths, stables, and coach-houses, the whole with very moderate price. Now’, all the endeavours

of the host will tend always to correspond with tiie tastes of their customers, which will acquire without doubt to him in that town the reputation of which he is desirous.” The cryptic reference to "strangei wines.” etc., may indicate that both na five and foreign vintages may be looked for; but why lump them together with such incongruous things as "hot and cold baths, stables and coach-houses’” How ever, let us hope that the endeavours of the host will acquire for him the reputa lion of which lie is desirous. In a French town much fri'quented by English tourists, a dentist concludes an liihertiseinent in the local papers thus: "M..\. renders himself to tile iuhabi tants of these tow n w ieh honour him with their confidence, ami executes with skill ami vivacity.” One would imagine that a vivacious dentist would be some thing of a nuisance, but doubtless he of the forceps only meant that lie was prompt in hi- me'hods. It is impossible not to lie awed by this Japanese otlieial notice: "The trees-eut-ting, birds’ and beasts' killing, and cows and horses setting on free at the ground belonging to Government are strietly prohibited.” Very often a mistake is made by mis interpreting a foreign word whieh has two English meanings. Thus, a British tourist in Holland was puzzled to know what "I pright ginger-beer" might mean, till he found out that “opreght” in Dutch stands for both "upright" and "genuine.” Again. "House to praise." in a French paper, mystified those who did not remember that in French "louer" means both "to praise” and "to let.”