Ignorance Was Bliss.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXXI, Issue XVI, 17 October 1903, Page 11

Ignorance Was Bliss.

Owing to a railway accident, the travelling menagerie had been scattered in all directions, and the animals were reported to be roaming round the country. While the manager was waiting for the breakdown gang to dear the debris away, a man with a business look approached him and asked: “Surr, do I get anythin' if 1 ketch the giraffee what got away last night?” “No giraffe got away,” was the reply. “Well, I cotched suntilin' ower on my place that must have got away from somebody. My old woman sez as it be’s a giraffee, but rnebbe it’s an elefant.” “Our elephauts are all here; but one of the eamels is gone.” “Mebbe it’s a eamel. 1 never seed no camel. .He ain’t got no wings on ’im.” “Does it look like a horse or cow?” “No, surr. My son Heury says it’s a nosceros. but I lie a leetle suspishus that it bain’t.” “We have no rhinoceros; but it may be our sacred bull, from India.” “Does yer sacred bull growl like a dawg, an’ show his teeth?” “No. It must be one of our lions! You don’t mean to say you have captured a lion?” “Can’t say, surr. But it do growl an’ roar an’ switch his tail. He didn’t want ter cum along, but I tied a halter round his neck and made him. He’s tied up to that tree over yonder, an’ I think as ’ow you orter gimme a crown for mv trouble.”

Some of the menagerie people went up the road with the man; and a quarter of a mile away, tied to a tree, and looking mightily disgusted, was the biggest lion of the whole collection.

“Dunno if it’s an elefant, or a noeeros. or a giraffee,” said the yokel, as he went up and began loosening the rope, “but ’ere he be, an’ bein’ as he killed my daug an’ bein’ as I had to drag him all the way, mebbe you’ll give us a bit of silver for bringin’ him back to you.” “Goodness!” gasped the manager, ,ts he gave the man half a sovereign, “didn’t you know this was a lion, and the fiercest one of the whole lot?” “No; I didn’t know what lie was. I just got a rope an’ made him cum along, an’ when he roared I licked him with me stick. Much obleeged, surr. Let me know if any other critter escapes, and I’ll see if I can catch ’em!”