The Art of Being a Good Listener.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXIX, Issue IX, 30 August 1902, Page 572

The Art of Being a Good Listener.

ANNOYING "EJ ACULATORS.” “1 am so fond of Mrs K , but she is the most difficult person I know to talk to,'’ said a elever raconteuse lately. "When 1 am in. the middle of a story that I think will amuse her she looks at me so blankly and never says a word. It always upsets me, and I generally lose the thread' of my discourse and think how flat my' chatter sounds. Now, with her sister, Mrs A , I always feel quite comfortable, and flatter myself I am an agreeable companion, and yet the latter is quiet, too, but you feel somehow you get in touch with her, while with Mrs K it is impossible. "There are many kinds of listen-

ers,” she continued. “Another most annoying creature is the person who always interrqpts when you happen to strike some chord of association. ‘Yes, that occurred to me.’ or ‘That, reminds me,' etc. And then follows some reminiscence ending up with ‘Excuse me for interrupting, but what were you saying?’ You may think such ill-breeding rare, but you have no idea how many really nice people do that sort of thing quite involuntarily. Still, another irritating auditor is the “ejaculatory personage. ‘Ah!’ ‘Oh!’ ‘Yes!’ ‘Not really!’ ‘I know!’ etc., uttered at intervals. with the regularity of a machine. Whom do I like to talk to? Oh. any one who is really responsive. One of the very nicest qualities in a listener, I think, is a soft, sympathetic laugh: but that is very rare. T only know one or two women who have it. but there is nothing more contagious or stimulating when used with discretion.”

when Advanced in Years. Much has been written regarding the best methods of adding to and retaining the attractions of beauty and youth, and the advice that has been given for the last few years on the subject in the press would fill volumes —how wrinkles may be avoided and even eradicated, how athletics and massage will give an indefinitely prolonged lease of good looks, how figures may be filled out and made beautiful, etc. In view of all this, it would seem to be only necessary to give the matter the time and stu iy that are required to be eternallv young.

There are no old people nowadays, according to the modern credo. Nevertheless, much might be said to those who feel that they do not care to make the struggle, and who are content, or at least resigned, to accept advancing years in the old-fa-shioned way. To them might be suggested the difference between attractive and repellant old age. No one ever becomes entirely indifferent to the opinion of others, or loses his or her vanity completely, and there are many who would be much astonished if they realised that their age had developed in them quite unnecessarily much that Was distinctly unpleasant. It is a pity, therefore, that soane of the space that is given to beauty talk to the would-be youthful contingent is not devoted to old people, and things that they evidently never consider suggested to them by such impersonal means. How they should dress becomingly, and be even more carefully “groomed” than in youth. How they should control their features. especially their months, which they should never allow either to harden or relax. How the purity of perfect cleanliness of skin and attire is more important with them even than with younger

people (if that were possible). How they must keep erect, feeling assured that the effort will bring its own reward in the courage that it begets, and how they should never forget that it is a great mistake for them, to relax the effort of appearing at their best as for the younger members of the communitv. Old age maybe made both beautiful and lovable. Unfortunately, however, the majority of persons make it neither. o o o O o