Teaching Obedience.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXIX, Issue VIII, 23 August 1902, Page 508

Teaching Obedience.

On the subject of teaching" children to obey. Dr. Grace Peckham Murray says in the “Delineator": — It is of paramount importance to establish the habit of obedience in the earliest years of life. Children understand the meaning and relation of things at a much earlier age than most parents believe. The indulgent mother will exclaim against any training for the child, saying: “The little thing is too tiny; wait until by-and-bye.” It is necessary to impress upon the child the fact that the parent is the ultimate authority and that he is under guidance and rule. As soon as the child can begin to reason he should see that this rule is wise and beneficent. Not that it is a mere display of arbitrary power, but that it is based upon that which will promote his best welfare and interests. The problem of securing obedience is more than half solved if the parents have obtained the firm conviction of the child that they are wonderful beings, whose judgment and guidance are infallible, that there can be no possibility of any mistake or pettiness in the directing which they exercise. The corner stone of this ideal attitude is based upon the conduct of the parents of the child, who become the embodiment of justice, righteousness and inflexibility. Such are not always summoning the child before the bar for the insignificant transgressions which the child commits through ignorance or a mistaken notion of things, but impress the child with the grandeuj- and dignity of

obedience and the necessity of it as the fundamental law of a human being living with others. In doing this the child has a primer lesson in citizenship, and thus is learning the alphabet which in after life will help him to spell, and then to read and write in that which belongs to the science of man living with man, A child should be obedient, therefore, because he loves and venerates his parents to such an extent that it is a delight for him to respond to their slightest request. This is, however, rarely the case. By reasoning and persuasion many children yield an obedience to the suggestions which are given to them. The child may also imitate the examples shown him by those he sees around him. It is easier for the younger children to obey, when they see their older brothers and sisters doing so. When obedience must be compulsory parents obtain it in two ways, either by rewards or punishment. A child will not respect the parents who bribe him to do that which he should do because of the innate righteousness and justice of the request. If possible, and seldom it is not possible, he should see that his own best interests are served by yielding a compliance, not because mother will give him some candy, or will take him to some place of interest, or give him money. It is very likely that such a course will give speedy result, but it is not developing the child’s obedience and character along the proper channels. One may plead that this system may be followed with very young children, who may not understand sufficiently the relation of things to act on higher planes of thought: but the truth which T repeat is that children know and understand matters much earlier and

much more clearly than the majority of parents believe. More can be accomplished in obtaining the requisite obedience from a child by such methods than by the infliction of punishment. A writer on “The Mind of Animals” says that all authorities agree that kindness invariably produces better results in training animals than any other method. Pain burns an impression into the brain of the child. He may never forget the lesson that has been taught by chastisement, but with it are associated the smart of shame and disgrace, which will accompany the thoughts of it long into after life.

1 will not deny that there are some children who must be made to smart before they will feel that it is right and proper for them to obey. Many who are in a position to know say that there is nothing so efficacious as a remedy as the birch rod, even if administered in homoeopathic doses, but such measures must become necessary only because of the early neglect of enforcing obedience or are due to the imitation of the examples set by others.