Courtship and Marriage Queries.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXIX, Issue VI, 9 August 1902, Page 381

Courtship and Marriage Queries.

KNOTTY POINTS DISCUSSED. Is it possible to keep a man a friend and no more? I doubt very much if it is possible, if the man has his mind set on trying to cross the line from friendship to love. Somehow, as a rule, a man “awakes” to love first, and it is his business and pleasure to awake an answering chord in the woman he loves. Sometimes the woman realises what his object is, and wishes he wouldn’t. She likes him as a friend, pure and simple, but she has no wish or desire to go any further.

In nine eases out of ten yon mustmake up your inind to lose your friend sooner or later. If the man has developed from friendship to love, he is bound to tell you. You may, by infinite tact, put off the evil day, and try and cheat yourself into the belief that all is well. But it won’t last.

Only, don’t bother your head unnecessarily. Perhaps he is not in love at all—only a rather urgent friend.

Am I justified in marrying a man against the wishes of niy brother, who is my only near relative? It depends entirely on the motives that hare inspired your brother’s objections, and on the amount of affection there is between your brother and yourself.

Of course, if his views are likely to be purely selfish, you would be quite justified in disregarding them. You have a right to live out your own life to the full, and you are bound to consider your fiance’s happiness. But if your brother is really fond of you, and his objections are on unselfish grounds, then give his opinions some weight. He probably knows far more about the world than you do. and there may be things against your lover of which you have no notion. It is always a hard point to decide. I should advise you to open your heart to your brother. Det him see you want to do what is right, and then he may put things in a plainer light for you. ANOTHER KNOTTY 1*0! XT DEALT WITH. “Amethyst” has got into a thor-

ough muddle and wants me to help her out of it.

She knew a man and a girl (B). They were great friends. Presently the man told “Amethyst” he had “met the one woman in the world.” “Amethyst” had no doubt that he referred to the girl B. “Amethyst,” in a spirit of absolute kindness, told B.

Up to that time B. had only looked on the man as a friend; but the knowledge that he cared for her waked an echo in her heart, and she gradually came to love him heart and soul.

A short time ago the man eaine to “Amethyst” and said that things were prospering so with him that he meant to put his fate to the touch; and then, to “Amethyst’s” horror, mentioned the name of another girl altogether. “Amethyst” now wants to know what to do. 1. Shall she tell the man? 2. Shall she tell her girl friend B? 3. Shall she do nothing? I suppose “Amethyst” will say she was following my advice in trying to put things right? If she will look back she will see that I only suggested the “helping friend” where the girl and man cared, and the girl was rich and the man Quixotic. “Amethyst” ought never to have acted as she did. Why did she not leave the man to fight his own battles? However, it is no good crying over spilt milk. The question is. What is to be done now?

Whatever happens the man must not be. told. W’iat would be the good? He will certainly not refrain from proposing to the other girl, and besides the other girl may care for him.

It is no good spoiling three lives. I think “Amethyst” must tell her friend B. My impression is that the moment B. finds that the man does not care for her half her dream about him will go.

Love on a woman’s side is largely due to reciprocal action.

There is no reason for B. to feel humiliated. ,

She merely gave away some gold by mistake in exchange for a cheque which subsequently proved to represent nothing but paper.—“ Home Chat.”