How the Engagement Was Announced.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXIX, Issue II, 12 July 1902, Page 67

How the Engagement Was Announced.

A ROMANCE OF THE SMART SET. Place: A corner in Mrs Brownsmith’s drawing-room. Time: Four to seven. Characters: Mrs Mallis, Mrs Flytie, Mrs Sweetstuif, Miss De Day and Mr Van Clevver, also Mrs Knowitall. Mrs Flytie: Oh! you dear thing; how glad I am to see you! I’m so bored that as soon as I’ve told my hostess what a lovely time I’ve had I’m going home. I just dropped into this quiet corner a moment to rest my mind before uttering oire more mendacious platitude. Mrs Mallis: Perhaps I’d better go away, then. Mrs Fly tie: Don’t. A nice little chat with you always rests my greymatter. Weren’t you surprised to find that poor, dear Ethel was finally engaged? Mrs Mallis: I haven't been as much surprised at anything since I saw the size of my last milliner’s bill. Do you suppose that Mr Marshmallow expects us to congratulate him? Mrs Flytie: At any rate, he can't expect us to sympathise with him, and that is something. Mrs Mallis: Isn’t it? How well they light the rooms here. I wonder

that Ethel did not become engaged sooner, after all. One always looks here as she would wish her dearest friend to see her. Mrs Fly tie: Have you seen Mr Marshmallow’s mother? Mrs Mallis: No: I thought I’d finish with my- congratulations before I commenced my condolences. To tell the truth, I never do see her when I can help it; she is as uninteresting as a musical tea. Mrs Flytie: She bears it as well as one could expect from a woman who still imports her complexion. But when she stands beside Ethel’s mamma they- look like the before and after taking pictures. She say-s she does not know when the wedding will take place. Mrs Mallis: From the look on Mrs Brownsmith’s face, I think she does. When did they- induce Charley to think that, he had proposed to Ethel? Mrs Fly tie: Last week. I believe.

They have not yet decided whether to have a smart wedding or a quiet one. Mrs Mallis: No, I understand they can’t decide whether the value of the extra presents will make up for the additional expense or not. But then, any kind of an affair is cheap if you don't pay the bills. Why, here is Mr Van Clevver! Do sit here a moment and tell us something really amusing. Mrs Flytie: No; something pathetic. Mr Van Clevver: Well, Charley Marshmallow is engaged—that is both. Mrs Fly tie (rapturously): Oh, how delightfully cynical you are! Mrs Mallis: It is always so clever to tell the truth; it gives one such a reputation for originality. And originality is as scarce as genuine antiques. Mr Van Clevver (trying not to look flattered): Or ancestors. Have you an idea how our friends expect to live? Mrs Mallis: Perhaps her father will give them an allowance. He never pay-s for anything himself, and he must have some income. Mrs Flytie: Oh. you naughty, clever thing! I must remember that.

Mrs Mallis: If you do. pray forget the author. By the way, they say that when Charley asked Ethel to marry him, she said: “All right, old ehap. and we’ll match pennies to see who is to be the head of the family.” Mrs Flytie: No. they say she said: "Yes, but it is too late to-day.” Mr Van Clevver: I hear that when Charley asked old Brownsmith for Ethel’s hand he had to say it twice before he could believe he was in earnest. Oh, how do you do. Mrs Sweetstuff: delighted to see you. I’m sure! We are just discussing the news. Mrs Sweetstuff (gushingly): Yes, isn’t it lovely! They seem made for each other, don’t, they? Mr Van Clevver: Do you think so? I can’t say the same thing for Charley and his clothes. Well. 1 must really trot along now; I’ve got to say some more nice things to our hostess before I leave.

Mrs Mallis: Takes it well, doesn’t he? Everybody knows he was dying to marry Ethel himself, but his income wasn’t sufficient to keep her in golf sticks. Mrs Sweetstuff: Oh, dear, how dreadful, and he is so clever, too! Mrs Fly tie (cheerfully): Clever people never have any money. If they had they would find life too satisfactory to have any sharp things to say about it. Mrs Mallis: There goes Anne De Lay to express her pleasure at Ethel’s engagement. Do you remember how hard she tried to induce Charley to think he had found his affinity in her? Mrs Fly tie: As if Charley Marshmallow could be induced to think upon any subject! Mrs Mallis: Oh, don’t be too hard on the poor fellow. I’m sure he thinks enough of himself. Miss Sweetstuff: Do you really

suppose that Miss De Day wanted to marry him? How dreadful! And she such a lovely girl! Mrs Mallis: Well, she knows as well as Ethel that his grandfather is ninety and a millionaire. Luckily, however, she can console herself with the thought that a bond in the bank is worth two in a will. Mrs Sweetstuff (suddenly): Deal me, there is Mrs Marshmallow! [ must go and speak to her. Mrs Mallis (looking after Mrs Sweetstuff): Shouldn’t you think that a. woman whose gowns sit as well as hers would have an original idea? Mrs Flytie (airily): Wh at good would an idea do her? She would not know what to do with it if she bad one. Miss De Lay: Oh. but you know, you can’t always take what Ethel says quite seriously. An athletic girl spends so much time in making her muscles flexible that she is apt. to stretch her imagination a bit at the same time. Mrs Mallis (sweetly): What an insight into such natures yon do seem

to have! But then you are such friends that you ought to know her well. I see that they have done up the drawing-room in honour of the event. How do you suppose they managed to do it? They can no more afford it than a wallflower can afford a birthday dinner But who is that dreadful woman in green? Some one of Charley’s impossible relatives. I suppose. Miss De Lay (coldly): That is my aunt. Mrs Vanaster. Mrs Mallis (with a tremour): Is it possible? As I was saying, it is dreadful of her to wear such adorable gowns. Must you really be off’ Well, come and see me soon, there’s a dear. Mrs Flytie (smothering a laugh): My dear, you are as resourceful as a popular preacher. They say that Charley has already given Ethel a pearl chain and a diamond star. Do you believe it?

Mrs Mallis: Not until I have seen them. Well (setting down her punch glass regretfully), 1 must be going now. Mrs Flytie (rising): So must I. How do you do, dear Mrs Knowitall? So delighted to see you. What do you think of Ethel's engagement? Of course I was not surprised, but then I am never deceived in such eases, though Mrs Brownsmith's friends did tell her that it is a wise chaperone that knows her own son-in-law! Mrs Knowitall: So suitable, isn’t it? \on know her father has given them a lovely house, and Charley's Western investments have turned out so well that they can afford to live in it. Quite like a romance in an old fashioned novel, isn’t it? And. by the way. another romance is about to be announced. Anne De Lay is going to marry Herbie Van Clevver; she just fold me so herself. Doubtless, as you are never deceived, you know all about it. but I didn’t. I am so si upid that I never know a thing until it has happened. Good-bye.