SNAKE BITE.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXIX, Issue I, 5 July 1902, Page 64

SNAKE BITE.

"Nonsense." said the faith healer '<■ the gentleman who was calling for more whisky, "you have not been snake-bitten. You only think you were." "Well." said the victim, pourins on another stiff one. "that may be al! right, hut the snake thought he was going to bite me. and 1 can't think as quick as a snake can." II EK LIMITED KNOWLEDGE. "So it was the Elbe Napoleon crossed that memorable winter?" sarcastically queried the professor. The pretty student, having jusi placed a fresh caramel in her month, said nothing. "Well." continued the professor, snappishly. "I'll venture to say that what you don't know about history would till a month's output of historical novels." OF COURSE NOT. "My wife doesn't seem to Ive progressing. doctor." remarked the anxious husband. "No.' answered the physician: "when she gains a little strength she uses it all up trying to tell her friends what’s the matter with her." A SMALL FORTUNE. "I can see your fortune in your palm." she said. "I can carry it there without cramping my fingers." he stated. WIDE. "You say Miss Pinkerton is accomplished. "Why. I never met a more accomplished girl. She knew just a little about every subject I introduced." HAPPY RECOLLECTIONS. Visitor—Well, my man. what are you in for? Convict—Oh. I'm in for a good time, lady. Visitor—l don’t understand you. Convict—l'm in fer lickin' me mother-in-law. ladv.

A GOOD DEFINITION. Teacher: Now, boys, tell me what is nothing? Scholar (after a pause): Please, ma'am, its w'en a man asks you to 'old 'is 'orse and just says "Thank you."