The Practical Value of Politeness

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXVIII, Issue VIII, 22 February 1902, Page 344

The Practical Value of Politeness

It lias been suggested that a charming smile serves its owner better

through life than the fattest of purses. An extreme view, certainly, but true it is that, altogether irrespective of the higher motives for speaking ami acting kindly and considerately towards one’s fellows, the study of politeness is one eminently important, indeed essential, to those who would get through this world creditably and in comfort. It is noticeable, more especially in the smaller ways of life, how materially will a smile or tactful word used aptly influence people in the speaker's favour. It is more than probable, indeed, that did the taciturn and peremptory individual realise the actual net value, as it were, of politeness, he would devote considerably more attention to the study than he feels naturally inclined. Perhaps nowhere is it more forcibly and visibly demonstrated how true a wisdom is jmliteness than when shopping. The young man behind th> counter may willingly, and (oh, rare thing!) smilingly rummage forth the whole of his stock, and yet betray tc another lady, perhaps both young and pretty, by means of sighs and stupid looks (for have not shop assistants a language all their own, far more expressive than mere mortal words, whereby to show their bored unwillingness?), anything but a flattering alacrity to serve. The reason, ot; course, is not far to seek. The elder lady addresses the assistant politely, and is not above smiling encouragingly, when the young man staggers forward half-enveloped in rolls of material; the other lady, meanwhile, gives her orders, while looking in the veryopposite direction to her hearer and inclines her head icily when an answer is required of her. Even at a railway station politeness has its value. Of course, here money will go a very long way, but the pas-

senger who harasses and deluges with contrary orders his bewildered porter will reap far less satisfaction from his exertions than the passenger who explains his business moderately and lets the porter do the rest. And—still more or less to the point —how extremely ruffling is insolence from a servant! Yet it is an annoyance by no means uncommon in small establishments. It is wrong, of course, but scarcely surprising, that having been harangued at intervals all day long over one small carelessness, because her mistress is annoyed by an occurrence quite outside the servant’s province, the injured maid becomes impertinent. One might give instances innumerable all to this one effect, the gist of which is—smile and look amiable, and don’t lie haughty, often. Hauteur is not a bad plan, but. like spirits, if indulged in frequently, it becomes a chronic weakness. Some of us are apt to indulge very freely in this sort of demeanour towards our dependents in the fond, false hope that we are imbuing them with a sense of awe for our importance, whereas probably they- are either amused at our “airs’’ or describe us to their colleagues as “Hoighty toighty!” Now. what is more humiliating than to be designated by one’s inferiors as “hoighty toighty?” But we are not to be pitied, for we should remember that we have everyone of us our “little feelings,” and in so remembering, learn the truest secret of politeness.