AS SEEN THROUGH WOMAN’S EYES

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXVII, Issue XXII, 30 November 1901, Page 1053

AS SEEN THROUGH WOMAN’S EYES

The Kind of Man a Girl Should Marry. Choice in matrimony does not as a rule come from the female side. A refined girl will not take the initiative, but she has the responsibility of refusing those who are ineligible. On what principle should this be done? First of all, we would say, that however handsome and agreeable a man may be, he should not be thought of as a husband if his character does not commend itself to the father and brothers of the girl. An

Irish magistrate asked a prisoner if he were married. “No,” replied the man. “O, then,” said his worship, “it is a good thing for your wife.” It is indeed a good thing for a woman not to have to live with a liar, with a thief, with a drunkard, for twenty, or forty, or even sixty years. A lazy man will make but a weak band or support for a woman’s house; so will one deficient in fortitude—that is, the power to bear pain and trouble without whining. Beware of the selfish man, for though he may be drawn out of his selfishness in the early

weeks of courtship, he will settle back into it again when the wear and worry of life come on.

To be happy in marriage, it is necessary to marry a gentleman in the proper sense of the word—that is to say, one who is generous and unselfish. who considers another’s happiness and welfare and not merely his own. A man who is a bear to his sisters, discourteous to his mother, and careless of the feelings of servants and poor relations is just the man to avoid when you come to the great question to be answered, yes or

A “duck of a man” generally makes a goose of a husband, so it is wise to choose for a husband one with lasting qualities of heart and character. We would not state a truth so obvious were it not that some women say that they Ifke a man to be a little bit of a rake, just a small garden one. If he is not all he ought to be before marriage he is sure to reform after it. and so they marry in a sort of missionary spirit, hoping to turn him from the error of his ways. This is not a wise thing to do. for people's

characters do not as a rule alter much after 30 years of age, and if a man has a bad character it is far more likely that he will improve his wife off the earth by bad treatment rather than that she will much alter him. The poorhouses are full of women who thought that they could reform their husbands. A husband need not be handsome, but he should be good-looking, in the sense of looking good morally and physically. It is a yisk to marry one in whose faee the ten commandments are conspicuous by their absence. “When I see a man,” says Addison, “with a sour, riveted face, I cannot forbear pitying his wife; and when I meet with an open, ingenuous countenance, I think of the happiness of his friends, his family, and his relations.” We need hardly say, however, that we do not recommend a professional beauty, who thinks.that he is a lady killer. Why should you have the trouble of keeping a husband for the exclusive benefit of other women? “When I marry,” said a budding schoolgirl, “I’ll want a fine, tall, broad, handsome man that everybody will admire.” “There’s where you are wrong,” said her elder and more experienced sister. “You’d have much less trouble in watching a less good-looking man, and would enjoy a great deal more of his society.” An Island of Widows. Off the coast of Norway is a small island called Aarlud, which boasts the unique distinction of being peopled exclusively by widows. The circumstances under which this state of affairs was brought about are no less curious than distressing. A short time since a man arrived on the island from Haugesund, on the mainland, with his wife and family, to participate in the spring egg gathering. While testing his ropes on a cliff, preparatory to commencing his search, he happened to make a false step forward over the cliff. He was instantly killed. As there had not been a death on the island since eleven years before, when a boy was killed by a boulder from the same cliff falling on him. the occurrence naturally cast a gloom over the small community established there. This consisted of some thirty fishermen with their families. As a mark or sympathy and respect, all the men determined to attend the funeral of the unfortunate, which was to take place at the cemetery at Haugesund. on the mainland. During the proceedings at the burial ground a tremendous gale arose, and when the men returned to their smack the storm was at its height.

After carefully considering the situation, the thirty fishermen determined to sail for Aarlud, and having taken advantage of the opportunity to replenish their household supplies, the boat was rather heavily laden. The progress through the angry sea was most anxiously watched by the people on the mainland, who, when the boat

had gone the distan**®. of about a mile and a-half from the coast, saw that the vessel was in great distress. Efforts were at once made to go to the assistance,but the heavy sea beat back every boat that was launched. A few moments afterwards the unfortunate smack plunged forward into the trough of the foaming waves, and forever disappeared from mortal view’. Every one of its thirty occupants was drowned, and on the following morning their bodies were found along the beach.

News of the disaster was as speedily as possible conveyed to the island. Every wife in the place had by the dreadful event been made a widow, and out of thirty as many as twentyeight were left without any means of support. These women are nowreceiving assistance from the Norwegian Government, which is credited with the intention of settling a number of unmarried men on the Island as soon as arrangements can be made. Until this is done, however, all its women must of necessity remain widows.—Exchange. o o o o o Do You Know How to Wash Your Face ? While very frequent ablutions are of course taken for granted, it by no means follows as a matter of course that everyone knows how to wash her face, even though that primary process is a fundamental of daintiness. Most persons wash their faces enough, but many of them with poor results. The face that shows its scientific washing is the one that has been bathed correctly at night. If one has been on a railroad journey or a dusty drive all day, of course the only and obvious thing to do is to bathe it in the ordinary way; but if you would have your complexion look its best and freshest next morning retire to your room early, rub eold cream all over the face, rubbing in thoroughly, and leave it on ten or fifteen minutes; then remove it with a dry Turkish towel. Next, lather the hands with fine soap and very warm water; dip the palms in cornmeal and rub the face over and over, rinsing off with warm water and then in cold, and dry with a rough towel. Every particle of dust will be eliminated from the skin, leaving it as fresh and soft as an infant’s. Putting ammonia in the water makes the sk’n dry and wrinkly, and it is not as good for the hair as borax, though ammonia is an excellent toilet accessory. If, after this kind of a face bath, a few drops of benzoin are put into a pint of water and mopped over the face it helps to restore the natural fairness, if one is sunburnt. A few drops of benzoin in a whole bowl of water make no impression whatever.

Thrift a Himely Virtue. When I used to hear my dear old grandmother make this remark in regard to thrift being a homely virtue, it did not strike me with the force that it now does. It is truly the basis of all success in life. It is truly a virtue, and one we should all strive to cultivate. It eannot be cultivated too early in our children. Let them learn, however, to distinguish between thrift and stinginess. It is the thrifty man or woman we go to when we want help in our charitable work. A penny saved is a penny earned. What I wisn to speak of most in this short article is to learn thrift in the expenditure of strength as well as in the spending of money. We must learn to value the things of life correctly. A weary, cross, irritable wife and mother, too desperately tired to be companionable in her family, makes a sad mistake. The biggest leak we have to mend is worry. My dear sister woman, while a thrifty wife is better than a rich one, thrift means intelligence and thought, and try to save yourself all the extra steps possible. A woman may reduce her household expenses temporarily by overworking herself, but this is a foolish and sometimes a fatal economy, for medicine and doctors’ bills loom up before you like a mountain. What we want most is a cheerful, healthy, happy wife and mother, and she cannot possibly be so without health. Study the best methods of bathing. Use pulverised borax in your bath water to purify it. It is wonderfully cleansing, and invigorates and tones up the system when run down, and acts like a tonic.