After Dinner Gossip.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXVII, Issue XX, 16 November 1901, Page 927

After Dinner Gossip.

Sir Hector Macdonald and the Olrla. Sir Hector Macdonald talks very gaily to any girls he meets at socials and other functions. At a gathering in Auckland last week he delighted a group of hero-worshippers, and "gave . as good as he got” in repartee and banter. In Melbourne it seems to have been the same. "G” writes in the “Australasian”: Two Melbourne girls I know, who have travelled a great deal, and on these travels have gathered together many interesting souvenirs, are inordinately proud of the latest additions which they have made to their collection. I went to see them the other afternoon, and before I had been in the house, many minutes one -exclaimed, “VVouM you like to see what we’ve got?” Whereupon she produced her autograph book, while her sister, from “some old cabinet,” very tenderly brought, out a few faded roses, tied with pale blue ribbons. I immediately, womanlike, jumped to the conclusion that those ribbons and roses meant a romance of some kind. “We always said we were lucky, but what do yon think? We actually chanced to travel over part of the wav from Adelaide to Melbourne in the same carriage with Sir Hector Macdonald.” Then the other sister murmured, “As Peter Marchdale said, in ‘The Cardinal’s Snuff-box,’ ‘What supernatural luck!’ ‘Well, he was awfully nice, and at Murray bridge an old woman thrust a huge bunch of flowers into the carriage for him, and then Sir Hector gave me these roses. I shall always treasure them.’ ” The other one then showed me his signature. "Hector Macdonald, Murray-bridge.” “I asked him would he mind, would he be so very kind, and he said he didn't mind a bit. I think a signature is heaps better than ros.es, don’t you? Especially when one has other roses, and after a time forgets which is which.” It -was at ifurray-briuge,, S.A., also that someone,after taking a good look into the carriage, turned away with the remark. “Oh. he’s" not bing much, after all; quite an ordinarylooking man.” This amused the General so much that he said, “I wonder if they thought they would see a new species of Australian kangaroo.” 4> Slump In Race Dreams. The slump in race dreams this year is unprecedented, says a sporting writer. Experts put if down to the inferior - quality of the present-day pork sausage, and the continued cold weather subduing the taste for crayfish. From statistics supplied by the Government astronomer it has been found that the most reliable race dreams have had theig origin in pork sausages and stout taken freely for supper. These have generally resulted in strange horses being seen, while crayfish suppers have been found to produce the colours of riders, and, when taken in conjunction with bottled ale, winning numbers have been identified. ♦ ♦ ♦ Melba’s Visit to Melbourne. Melba has spoken. And nothing short of death or mutilation will now stay her from unrolling her voice in Australia. The manner of announcement of her visit would be fitting for the queen of a realm, let alone song. It should have read, “Epistle to the Commonwealth.” But it is to- Musgrove she comes, not to Williamson. As was pointed out some months ago, the latter would have had to take the Town Hall and cram it every night night to make any profit. Her Majesty’s Theatre, at its fullest, is worth only £3OO a night. Melba asked of Mr Williamson £5OO a night, 10 per cent, of the proceeds, and her own and maid’s passages, and the (engagement of a certain French tenor. If she had appeared in opera, for which she stipulated, there would have been the army of ‘“others,” and the miles of scenery. As it is, “Nellie” will appear on the concert platform ■nly, and if Mr M. is to make anything out of the deal she must have come down several stories in hex

terms. People are now speculating whether “the series of concerts for the benefit of the poor and sick of my beloved country,” which. Melba appears to have proffered a while ago (on a top, note) will now occur. I fear that unless prices are much lower than those ruling in London (10/ up in the “gods”), her compatriots will know more of her personally than vocally by the time she has gone again.—Sydney “Bulletin.’’ * + + The Monowal Incident. That champion writer of persiflage, “Woomera,” is in good vein over the now almost forgotten drift of-the _Mpnowai. The “copy” only came to New Zealand this week, and is a little old, but is so good it may be given in full. Says the scribe: "‘One touch of nature makes the whole work! grin,” says the poet, or words to that effect, and the whole world will grin when it hears that the first sound that Reached the rescuing steamer Mokoia when she got within linking distance of the drifting Monowai w is the deep-toned query, "What won the Caulfield Cup?” There were songs of praise to the earthly and the heavenly King, but the real touch of nature is supplied by that agitated question. Let us sing: — It was the good shin Monowai That sailed the Southern sea; She struck a piece of sunken rock, And helpless drifted she. The Opera Company was aboard The hapless Monowai, And most harmonious notes of grief ■Went upward to the sky. To smile had they been drifting still, Had beer, a mortal sin; But now that they have all got Bach, One may Speak Lo-en-'grin. Ko papers came, no cablegrams. And, forced on grief to sup. Wild hearts were bursting there to know What won the Caulfield Cup. “Aft, Heaven!” wailed one, the blades are gone,- -, - ■ . ; ■ We’ve also lost the boss. • And, added to my griefs, is my Unrest about a boss. Shall I become that hideous thing The waves toss mangled up, Sent in my prime to death, nor know What won the Caulfield Cup?” “Shall this warm motion sensible In eold oblivion rot In various sharks, and never know Whether I scooped that pot? Hurrah! We’re saved! God save the King! Let heartfelt thanks go up, Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow! What won the Caulfield Cup?” •fr * * A Wanderer During the last voyage of the s.s. Waipouri from Newcastle to Lyttelton, about 8 o’clock on the morning of October 28, the vessel (says a Christchurch exchange) was boarded by an unexpected visitor, in the shape of a bird, evidently a land bird, as its feet are not webbed. Its legs, some six inches in rength,show that it is a wader. Its body is about the size of that of a quail, which it also somewhat resembles in its markings. Its eyes are large and prominent, and its beak is about an inch in length. Captain Abram took every eare of the wanderer, had a cage made for it, and took pains to find out what food was suitable for it. The bird took no notice of peas, rice, and bread crumbs, but when some bits of meat were thrown to it it snapped them up eagerly. It was at first very wild, bu* ha row become accustomed to its confinement, and appears to recognise the captain, who has handed it over to the Canterbury Acclimatisatioi It had evidently been blown out to sea, as it came on board the steamer about 200 miles distant from the nearest land, Lord Howe Island, and gome 600 miles from the Australian mainland. A gale was blowing at the time. In fact, Captain Abram says, the steamer was experiencing the effect of Mr Wragge's “Sychem.” He had observed the warning as to that disturbance, and had steered a more than usually northerly course in order to avoid its full force.

The Unluekleet of “Blokee.” He had the appearance of a deadbeat of the most forlorn description, and thus he unburdened himself to the good-natured trainer who had given him a shilling:—“lt’s always the way in this world, guv'nor; them as does the graft gits least thought of. If you’re lucky you’re all right, but if y'aint they’ll kick yer. Look ’ere! I made the model of a perfect startin’ machine long before anybody else ever thought of’ ’em, hut 1 ’ad no stuff o’ me own to push the thing, an’ everybody I showed it to* then thought I was balmy, an’ 'ere I am dead to the world, an' machines as aint a patch on mine bein’ used everywhere!” Then he added, “It’s jist like Buller. ’E done all the ’ard graft, an’ showed 'em all the way to Ladysmith an’ them places, and 'e gits chucked out. while Roberts, whose bin ’angin’ off .till Buller’s cleared the way, conies in an’ gits thirty thousand quid an' promotion. I reckon me an’ Buller’s two o’ the unluckiest blokes un’ung!” The ''nio-lnl Scotchman. Two Scottish drovers were sleeping beneath a tent by the side of the sheep they - were overlanding, when one suddenly awoke with a heartrending cry. “What’s the matter, Donald?” called his startled companion. “Are y - e hairt?” “Oh, Sandy, mon,” exclaimed Donald. “Oh’ve just had an awfu’ dream —it was jjist terrible.” “Did ye dream the tent had fallen in?”- asked Sandy. “Worse than that.? replied Donald. ‘‘Did ye think we’d lost the sheep?" “Worse than that.” “Did ye think your guid wife and your bairns were deid?" “Worse than that. Sandy,” explained Donald, wipping his fevered brow with cold tea from the billy. “Ah dreamt we were back in Scoatland agen.” ♦ + * Wairer!-g on the Wane. The decadence of betting: Punter and Mo alike bewail the passing of heavy - wagering on Melbourne Cup. Phil Glenister (father of Sydney “Tatts.”) who engineered the Revenue commission, also put the money on Wakeful for the i .Caulfield Cup- but eo'uhf'n’t get more than £4OOO in Melbourne apd> Sydjacsy before offers fell below 100’s to 6. This year's betting is the poorest for the last quarter century. In ’9O. Mr Wallace got £30,000 about Carbine, some of it at 20’s. Presumably - , the nag was backed to win £60,000 all told, whereas 20,000 or 25,000 sovs would skin the market now. Sydney bookmaker Oxenham tells that, in Carbine’s year, his transcations totalled £40,000. but he didn’t drop a thousand of his own. He laid £43,000 against Malvolio when he won the Cup in '9l, but £46,000 came along to pay it with. This season he has done less than half the business. Glenister says the cause is too much suburban racing, and the increase in the number of operating - Moes. Oxenham ascribes it to calling the card, and the

consequent forced competition among layers, besides which money' is scarce ami backers few. Constant racing of horses exposes their strength and probabilities, and causes the withdraw al~of inferior cattle. All of which is amusing. Wild horaes won't draw Moes into competition at the calling of the card, which is frequently run through without a blow. It is absence of competition among the Ikeys that has killed the game, and the <t’ijection of the public to take all the risks. Mo. never opens his mouth wider than will keep his satchel secure: and the people are tired of it; consequently, the big backer has vanished. Assertion re exposed form didn’t fit tin- nag that paralysed, this year's business, nor any one of a few of those before him. Apropos of the unmentionable people who chew lollies and nuts at the opera during the performance here is an amusing yarn. Remenyi, the violinist, was playing one night in concert, and was extremely annoyed by two persons in the audience, who were cracking and eruncSiing peanuts. He lost his patience at last, quit playing ami left the stage. He was loudly recalled, reappeared, and, stepping to the front of the stage, said wi£h much impressiveness : “Ven zee gentlemen haf finished his peanut solo, I vill go on.” The speech was heartily applauded, and no more peanut performances were given during’ that concert. * + + Mr Morgan, the writer of a useful little book on the block system of measuring timber, and late instructor in manual training in New South Wales, is at present in Ain kland. The book has been praised by many practical men as giving* a simple System by which children may be ’’taught to' compute quantities, and Mr Morgan informs us that Mr Aicken, of Welling on, purchased. £lO worth of the publication to distribute.