Friends and Friendship.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXVI, Issue XVIII, 4 May 1901, Page 855

Friends and Friendship.

A friend —a real, true friend, who shares one’s joys and sorrows, bears with one’s good or evil humour, loves one despite one’s faults, and perhaps even the better for them- Who has not dreamed of such a friend? But how few there be that find them!

This would seem particularly the ease with women in contradistinction to men, and in an aggravated degree among, girls. A girl’s friendship for another would seem as a rule to be of a butterfly order of things. They fly into friendship with outspread wings and encircling arms, with kisses, with “dearest” and “darling” interspersing their conversation, and daily letters of many pages long helping to break the weary postman’s back. And then comes “The little rift within the lute.” Which by and by shall make the music mute.” And the friendship, ripe before its time, dies a sudden death, not even repelled by the two who erstwhile so enjoyed it. Therefore, it behoves a girl before making a friend to pause and consider for some short time at least before becoming “absolutely devoted” to her, and to think twice before you tell the girl you met yesterday in the house where you are staying all your inmost secrets and receive all hers in return. To sav the least the habit is unwise, and like all playing with matters great and good will perhaps prevent your knowing a real friend when you do come across one.

“But it is not my fault.” I can hear some girl exclaim, “if Mary, whom T thought so nice, has turned out perfectly horrid! She told a man T know all sorts of things about me. and T will never forgive her—never!” Very likely not. But if Mary was so deceitful and untrue, how was it you were deceived? On what did you found your love for your friend? On any

characteristics of the rock-like substance that insures stability and duration of friendship, or on the shifting, sand-like foundation of frivolity and vanity, and the natural craving which most young girls possess of wanting to be loved? But this is just the point. You want to lie loved; you don’t want someone to play at being your friend, but you want the real thing in all its solid beauty. Then test the ground before erecting your house of love, anil try the metal before forging the chains of friendship, which may end by fretting and galling you beyond endurance unless you are on your guard.

THERE MUST BE “GIVE AND TAKE.”

In friendship, as in love, it must be a matter of give and take. A perfect friend is not a girl or a woman who believes you perfect, but one who, knowing you to be imperfect, loves you all the same.

When you are very young you naturally rather rush into extremes, and there is not much harm in this, except in the matter of friendship, when it is better to be a little cautious. It becomes laughable and foolish when .von declare yourself a very great friend of every agreeable girl you meet. It is far better to wait till you meet with someone you can really care for and to be friends with—someone you can really trust; and then, having once made your choice, to stick to it through evil report or good report, doubting nothing because of the love you bear your friend—a love STEADFAST AND TRUE. Steadfast and true; a love that does not perhaps show itself in throwing your arms around her waist, or declaring that she is “the sweetest thing in the world”; a love that is not shown by writing long nages of gushing nonsense, or by showering - pre-

sents, suitable aud unsuitable, upou her, but which is grave aud enduring; and then, once found, ouee established in such a friendship put aside all trifling jealousy and silly feminine pique, or you will soon tiud—

“That lives so lately mingled seem bike broken reeds, or like a stream

Which, mingled, left the mountain sid*. As if its waters ne’er could sever; But ere it reached the plain below Broke into streams that part for ever.'

In the Bible we read that "Greater love hath no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friend ” Yet, to us poor mortals, it sometimes seems almost a harder task to keep true to a friend than to die for him.

and romance are full of instances of great and noble things done for friendship’s sake. Then don’t turn friendship into ridicule by foolish, gushing words and meaningless kisses.

A woman seldom makes a real friend in her early youth. Youth is the time for love and romance; and friendship, love’s pale twin brother, is not in accord with a girl’s memory when she is in the first flush of youth and life. A woman’s real friends, whether they be men or women, are made n little later in her career as a rule, and happy is the woman who possesses such a treasure as a true friend. Knowing and understanding the value of what she has found, she will never strain at the tie if she bo wise. She will never be jealous or exacting, but. trusting ever, will be forever true. o o o o o Next Season’s Trimming. ITS MANUFACTURE AT HOME. Although the great rage for gold as a trimming is spent, traces of it still remain. The wheat has been separated from the chaff, and used with

judicious discrimination—a mere thread indicating its presence —it will assist largely during the coming season in the decoration of our best evening gowns.

l.ace will serve as its principal foundation, the finest of gold threads outlining the pattern, or in other cases merely emphasising the design, or throwing a certain portion into relief.

Decorated in this manner it will be carefully intermixed with soft chiffon flounces and ruffles, the merest glimmer of the gold being apparent. Ostentatious display of the decoration will be conspicuous by its absence in all the best gowns, a vulgar display stamping hopelessly the genre or bad taste of the wearer, as was also the case in the overtrimming of our gowns when the rage was at its height.

What a chance is afforded skilful fingers! The decoration of the lace presents no difficulties, and home workers, with the greatest ease and at the mere expenditure of a little time and labour, can thereby transform the most ordinary laces into effective trimmings of real beauty, which will impart to their new season's gowns, be they ever so simple, that distinctive label which is ever the well dressed woman's roal.

Japanese gold thread is the best to employ in the working, and although any lace lends itself more or less to tlie decorr.tion. those having a bold design—preferably copies from good old patterns—prove the most effect-

So many of these old patterns are now copied in machine laces, and as they are offered at ridiculously low prices they come well within the reach of all. It is interesting to note that this gold trimmed lace is but a revival of a French sixteenth century fashion, when perhaps extravagance in dress was never before or has since been rivalled.