As Seen Through Woman's Eyes.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXV, Issue XV, 13 October 1900, Page 705

As Seen Through Woman's Eyes.

Twin Evils: Hurry and Work. Worry is more dependent upon hurry than most of us have ever imagined, and in condemning the former we have inadvertently overlooked the fundamental cause. M e are a worried people because we are always in' a hurry. Those who preac.i against worry and condemn it as the great curse of the land, should stop and think of the cause of it. Habit it may be, but what produces habit? The child does not naturally worry. It accepts life with more philosophv than the professional philosopher, and if left to self it would work on its own destiny, in which there was neither undue haste nor worry. Ron tine and monotony of life would hav 1 no dulling effect upon the mind and nerves, because it would not become slaves to them. There would only be occasional fits of hurry when in pursuit of some temporary pleasure or gain, and that would be just sufficient to rouse the whole system to a healthful glow and reaction. It is the daily continual hurry. the evet lasting strain to surpass others, that kills. The hurry to be rich and the tarry to become famous force the tender plant from infancy. People ring it into the ears that this is an age of young men, and that the world’s responsibilities must rest on young shoulders. To prove it innumerable instances are reported where the highest worldly ambitions have been realised by men under 30. The age limit of success, they say, is narrowing in each generation, and unless a man has made his .mark before he i--30 the chances are nearly even that he will never do it. What strivings for success such a doctrine causes! How the body and soul are strained to cram in ten years what should occupy thirty! Hurry becomes the watchword of the day, and in th“ eager crowd there is scarcely one who does not make all the haste possible to achieve riches and glory before

his mind is actually prepared to receive them. Hurry in a few instances may make wealth, and it may again win fame and glory, but it cannot make for culture or refinement. It may gloss over the character with a fine veneer of culture that will deceive for a time, but there is nothing deep and abiding in it. Culture and refinement are the products of long waiting and reflection. They come slowly but surely. If forced they are merely sham reflections of the genuine article. If we but seek them earnestly and intelligently we will wean ourselves from the world’s everlasting hurry. What a mistake we make in not teaching our children to look upon culture, refinement, and intelligent contentment as the chief aims of life! If we did there would be fewer disappointments in life, fewer mental and physical wrecks, and fewer suicides and miserable failures. Hurry becomes a habit: so does worry. It is as impossible to throw off one as the other. The man who has been in a hurry all his life is no greater victim to the habit formed in youth than the woman who continually worries. Every phase of existence can be turned into some excuse for worry. Household, social, religious, and general duties worry, and they add to the burden of life until there is neither pleasure nor satisfaction in doing one's duty. When worry gets the upper hand housekeeping becomes an irksome task, and it is sure to poison the whole atmosphere of the home. Children brought up in such a home imbibe it just as naturally as they do other characteristics of their parents, and they grow up in the belief that the world would not progress if they did not give their daily modicum of worry to help it along. Those who do not worry are looked upon as idle and slothful, and yet they often accomplish more than the crowd' of habitual worriers.

Young Wives. To the thoughtless young girl who has been in the habit of choosing her associates at her own sweet will, and coming and going unchecked and without question, the restraint placed upon her by a husband is often irksome. She has neglected to learn that a determination to accommodate one's self to one’s company is in no case so indispensable as in wedded life. While single, we may go where we list; if persons annoy us, we may avoid them: if we dislike one locality, we may remove to another. Not so after we are married; we cannot then change our companions; the choice does not depend on ourselves alone; there is another to be consulted, to whose wishes we must, to a certain extent, sacrifice our own. and when this is known to be the case, how absurd to make matters worse by opposition and resistance! Let those who have entered the matrimonial pale not be daunted at finding themselves somewhat mistaken in the temper and disposition of each other: in the common course of things it cannot be otherwise. During courtship, both are under a sort of moral delusion, viewing things through a false medium. Marriage speedily rectifies all this, and sometimes in an abrupt and unwelcome manner; but never mind, love or prudence will set all to rights, as every day’s experience will teach all who are teachable, that, though the romance of love has passed away, there is enough of reality left, if properly managed, to sweeten life. Therefore, young wives, be wise in your day and generation and murmur not: you are favoured in having met one to care for you sufficiently to render up his liberty to you, to bind himself to you for ever, to work for you, to cherish you, to protect you from the snares and insults of the world: none can harm you while your

husband lives; his arm guards you, his countenance upholds you, his love honours you. You fill an important station In society; a wife ami a mother is surrounded by numerous cares and responsibilities, and in proportion as she faithfully meets and discharges them is she honoured and respected. She has the privileges, too, which she ought to value. Therefore, youthful wives and mothers. if all your anticipations be not realised, be not east down, but make your destiny fortunate by the earnestness with which you fulfil your duties, and the cheerfulness with which you resign your free will, and modify your previously formed tastes and opinions, to meet those of your husbands. Woman s Lot in China. It may be said with truth that the fair sex in China can achieve even greater powers than that which the Western new woman yearns after, without forfeiting a whit of her womanliness; but of course the women who distinguish themselves are. and have always been, in the vast minority. Naturally there are women even in the Celestial Kingdom who only achieve absolute power in the sphere to which Providence has called them, by the exercise of that quality which is aptly termed tyranny; and that is why John has a phrase equivalent to our "henpecked husband. - ’ Of course, the prime example of th ■ present Empress-Dowager, who is also too well-known to Europeans by her woman of power in Far Cathay is the acts to need further introduction or consideration on the present occasion. The courage of Chinese women mainly takes the shape of an amazing inclination to suicide. Does a girl object to the husband chosen for her —self-destruction is at once the remedy resorted to. Does a lady of quality lose her lord—she forthwith tries to follow him to the land of spirits, by starvation, poison, or any other means. Even among the mists of distant time, however, we can trace that the feminine ideal in the Land of the Dragon has always been remarkably high indeed. Yet, for a’ that an' a’ that, the Celestial female infant is not received into this weary world with gladness. In consequence she receives no regular education; and when she has completed a dozen brief years she becomes “the young girls who sits in the house'’: wh'ch being interpreted means that she is banished from all companionship until such time as she shall wed a husband. whom she has probably nevi r seen before the ceremony. From that hour forth it is her lot to implicitly obey her lord and mother-in-law, nor may she come in contact with men of the outside world in general. Her one liberty consists in being allowed to receive ladies of her own degree and return their calls. In many ways the average Chinese woman is little better than a slave, for the doctrine taught by the national classics is to the effect that she has no fewer than three stages of obedience—truly sufficient for a single lifetime. The first is to her fathet, the second to her husband, and the third to her son in the event of her spouse’s death. In John’s opinion a woman’s equipment in life should consist of modesty. gentleness, respect for elders, wisdom, and self-sacrifice. The Cleaning of Laces. Never rub laces. If badly soiled roll upon a bottle or round" stick; dampen slightly; when quite dry unroll and tack the lace with "large stitches in folds of about six inches. Be sure that the edges be even. You will now have a sort of compress of lace. Drop this into cold water, in which put a ’little borax or ammonia, or both. Soak until the dirt is out. changing water if needful. Never rub the lace, but it may be gently squeezed now and then lengthwise. When it is quite clean place it just as it is in the sun to dry. after which lay it upon the palm of the left hand and slap it vigorously with the right several times. Now remove the stitches by cutting; do not pull them. Refold the lace, but in different creases. and repeat the process, but pat rather than slap the folds this time. The result will be excellent; the

lace soft and betraying no sign of its batli. It should never lie ironed, unless upon clothing where it cannot be removed. It is well, therefore, to use other than lace trimmings for cotton garments, unless one chooses torchon, a notable exception. It other lace is ehossen, however, it should wot be much starched, if at ail, and the iron should ho used not along the length, but up and down. In this way the full effect of the width is kept, while by the other a wide edge appears narrower and the ]>attern distorted. After ironing the laundress shot.ld soften the lace by the gentle use <>f her thumb and forefinger, then gather it into little plaits, pinching them slightly, and after shaking it out lightiy the lace edge will wear its best aspect. “A Family Doctor” on Sleeplessness. I have, last of all. to say a word or two about sleep—“tired Nature's sweet restorer.” 1 wish thereby to draw the reader’s attention to the fact that unless a due proportion of muscular exercise be taken during the day, the sleep by night will not be refreshing. Exercise is the first preparation for sleep, and after supper, which. I have

already said, should be early, the mind must not be allowed to dwell upon any thoughts that excite or annoy. It is a good plan to read for some time before going to bed. and one pipe of good tobacco may be allowed. Do not read in bed. but read in your bedroom; perhaps lying on the sofa, in comfortable dishabille, and ready whenever the inclination to sleep steals over you to get gently and softly between the sheets. The room should be quiet and dark, with the window curtains drawn to exclude the too obtrusive morning light. The temperature of the room should, if possible, be sustained at about 55 degrees or t>o degrees. Bank the fire, else it will go out, and the temperature will fall, to your detriment. The bed itself should be moderately hard, but very smooth and even, the bedclothes light and warm, and the pillows soft and rather high. The room should be judiciously ventilated. and the curtains should not go right round the bed. I need scarcely add that narcotics or sleepingdraughts are most injurious, whether in the shape of opiates or that slow but certain poison called chloral hydrate. Kitchen Necessities. When one expects good service, it is an important item that suitable utensils and equipments be provided. Many a housemaid wastes hours of her time every week in the almost hopeless search for dusters, scrubbing- cloths, and The thousand and cue bits of fabric that one must have about the kitchen. Many housekeepers do not seem to realize that there are many things that require a little piece of rag or. possibly, very soft paper. Odds and ends of cloth of all sorts are Thrown away, torn up or. as one overthrifty woman used to do. put into the tire. Indeed, in more than one family the appetite of the stove is insatiable, and has been for years fed with articles of great value, if properly utilized. There should be special cloths for

lamps, windows, paint, Hoofs and stoves. For these latter, worn and otherwise useless lamp and floor cloths are desirable. When these cloths are of little value for their legitimate purpose, they should be thrown into n dish of strong soda water and boiled for half an hour, when they may be rinsed and put up to dry. They are then useful for rubbing the stove, the hearth or the grates, after which they still may do service in kindling the fire. The good housekeeper rarely finds it necessary to throw anything away. Iler economy, however, consists largely in starting right and making one article do the work of half a dozen. Old muslin may be first used as window cloths, then go through the various stages of paint. lamp and stove cloths just as well as not. Instead of this, we often see the hearth and grates rubbed with bits of snowywhite muslin or cambric caught up in a hurry, because there is neither system nor economy about the house. Advisability of Paying Children for Work. While it tends to destroy the independence and business ability of an adult person to possess no money of his own. without its first being given him by another, it also. I think, has a similar effect upon children. They ought to have an income of their own to use as they please. This they should be given some way to earn. They should be allowed to do some work outside the home, or be paid for the performance of some task in the home. While two little girls I know do willingly various things to lighten Mamma’s work, there is one thing for which they receive weekly wages —dish-washing. What an interest they take in payday! With dancing eyes they laughingly say, when the eventful day comes round. “Mamma, do you know what day this is?”

Each child, when paid, places her money in her own little purse, placing by itself the part of money intended for the Sunday contribution; what remains can be spent or saved as the child sees fit. These little ones get for themselves many little things their hearts long for, yet things they would hardly feel like asking Mamma to buy for them. They are rapidly learning business habits and the wise use of money. Is it not better to give children the glad consciousness of knowing they have earned their money instead of flic feeling that they must always depend upon their parents to give it to them? Try this plan, and see if it will not develop in your children more independent, self-reliant natures. SOPHIA JENKINS. On the Uses of Lemons. Very few. perhaps, realise how very useful lemons are. not only for cookery. but in many other ways. Here are some of the things lemons are good for—first of all for toilet purposes, as they are not only healthful but beautifiers. Pure lemon juice and water make an excellent spring medicine, if taken in moderation, as it clears the skin and purifies the complexion. Chapped hands can be softened and whitened by applying lemon-juiee; but it should not be used every day. as it tends to dry the skin. If applied to the face once or twice a week, it prevents wrinkles. A few slices of lemon in the washhand ewer will soften and perfume the water. Lemon juice and magnesia, applied to the face and hands, will make the skin white and soft. A teaspoonful of lemon juiee in warm water will make a good tooth wash, but the mouth must be thoroughly rinsed out after using. The same quantity of lemon juiee and

water is an excellent remedy for stained finger nails. Lemon juiee is also good to cure unbroken chilblains with. For headaches, a slice of lemon placed on the temples will give relief; while a cup of strong coffee, with a teaspoonful of lemon juice in it, instead of milk, will cure a sick headache. A glass of hot lemon and water taken the hist thing before going to sleep, and as hot as possible, is a splendid remedy for a cold, as it induces a profound perspiration. In cookery, every housewife knows, the value of lemons, both juiee and rind—as a squeeze of the former in most things is an improvement when not required to be flavoured with it; fish especially being much improved in nearly all preparations with the addition of lemon juice, which can be frequently used instead of vinegar; indeed, it is far better to take and squeeze over oysters than vinegar. Whenever a . slightly sharp flavour is required, use lemon juice. Some apples, when stewed, are rather flavourless, but if cooked with a shred or two of lemon-rind, and some lemonjuice squeezed into them, they will be much improved. Lemon juice can be substituted for wine or brandy in cookery, such as sauces, eakes, etc., and the flavour will be very little different. In the cases of cakes that are required to be kept, and brandy is given in the recipe. lemon juice may be used in the proportion of one lemon for every wineglassful ordered. Mince-meat is as good, and keeps as long, when made with lemon juiee as with brandy.