WILD WOMEN I HAVE MET.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXV, Issue XV, 13 October 1900, Page 704

WILD WOMEN I HAVE MET.

This ts the term by which we designate that auti-opitim-teniperance-plat-form-speaking-feruole who is generally known as “The Advanced Woman." There are few people now-a-days who have not come across, at least a few specimens of this genus in one of her varieties, and all will recognise her if we give a slight sketch of her characteristic attributes and most glaring peculiarities, taken from actual sad experiences of our own. When once you have seen a wild woman you will ever afterwards know her immediately. The outside of her is enough, you will never forget it. She has short hair, her petticoat ceases at exactly six inches above *her ankles, her waist measures no less than thirtyinches. Her boots are square as to the toe and possess no'heels. They are never smaller than sevens. Her gloves, when she wears any. correspond to her boots, and she bears with her several leaflets on drunkenness and social purity. Dull indeed would be the perception of the man who failed to recognise this individual when he saw her, but should such a purblind mortal exist, all doubts he may have had will vanish the moment the wild woman begins to speak. Her voice is harsh and strident, her manner fussy and inquisitive, if you have the misfortune to travel in a railway carriage or an omnibus with her, she will immediately begin to question you—and awful indeed is the fate of that unfortunate who dares to beard the wild woman! If you are a woman she will entreat yon not to wear stays, pointing out to you the evil effects you are thereby producing upon future generations. She will remark upon the redness of your nose, for if it is not red. it ought to be; and, waving her arms and puffing out her chest, will request you to prod her in her ribs, and challenge you to raise your diaphragm to the extent that she does. Having triumphantly proved that Tier frame measures at least twelve inches inore in circumference than yours, she will then proceed to the anti-opium question—and once there, you are done for. If you chance to be a mere man yofur fate is even worse. Without tumbling herself to ask any unnecessary questions she will take for granted' that you are a drunkard, and will lecture you accordingly on the extreme foolishness of taking money out of yimr ow n pocket to put it into that of rich brewers ami publicans. It is in vain that you assure her that you would on no account part wit'h any of your money, and that yon woultl greatly prefer to do your charity openly, instead of slyly poking your offerings into a person’s ..pocket—and that you touch nothing but ginger ale —:she hastens on with her^'work,and taking- for granted that you are a brute as well as a villain, she devotes all her energies to the social purity ifuestiou. and then the Lord help you! But thea-e is the second and more hopeful variety of wild woman. This is the lady who. thong’ll she has the same stern principles of the wild woman pure and simple, makes some slighteconeession to Convention-in the shape of her clothes. It is noticeable that this class of wild women have always some pretention to good looks. “The spirit imleed is willing, but the tiesh is weak." This lady is no less anxious to reform society and assert her “rights." Bnt she endeavours at the same time to make herself not actually repulsive. Far be.it from us to say that she dresses in the fashion, that wonld be heresy indeed, but she is weakminded enough to take an interest in her personal appearance. She wears her shoes only one size too large and reduces her waist to twenty-six i»<ffies, it has even been whispered that, she condescends to a long dress, but were the wild women to know of it, they .would rend her in pieces. She has of course excellent reasons for the martyrdoiti she inflicts upon Imrself in conceding thus far to public opinion. She makes this sacrifice entirely for the sake of the “cause,” she feels that it is her duty to humanity to make the best of Sfae is couYincp'J that her ex-

hortations will have more weight if she is becomingly dressed. Her wilder sisters are inelined to sniff, uud to make naughty remarks about “vanity.” But as this variety generally has some money behind her. they silence the voice of their righteous indignation and tolerate her—for the good of the “cause." There is. alas! one more variety of wild woman, who possesses all the "advanced” characteristics of the first, combined with a strange and unaccountable stubbornness and contrariness which compel her to do exactly the opposite to everybody else. This awful type is luckily rare. It generally clothes itself after the fashion of that despicable and incapable animal Man. We’have sometimes wondered why it should choose to wear the garments of so contemptible a creature, but we have always concluded that it was for the “good of the cause.” However that may be. the main object of this s|M-eies of wild woman is to do as others do not. For instance, it is a harmless custom amongst us less enlightened amt feeble-minded folk to attire ourselves in our best clothes on the Sabbath. Not so the wild woman. We have known her seap herself, her hair streaming in the breeze, clad solely iu her night-shirt (only poor, tame women wear a nightgown) in the front garden, and there she scours the pots and pans! Many of us ordinary mortals may profess an affection for animals, though we may admit that we like them “in their place.’’ Even so does this wild woman, only her ideas of an animal’s place are different from ours. She gives up her front rooms to lie a stable for cats, her dining table is a rendezvous for dogs, goats, ducks, etc. The common or garden woman, takes her exercise in the day time. This is too tame for the wild woman. She walks abroad at midnight. If a man dares to adtjress her. sire promptly knocks him down—experto erede. But. .the wild woman knows no limits. Armed with a jumping pole, she o’er leaps ditches and hedges, waking the echoes with her shrieks, and terrifying midnight travellers out of their wits. This is her quaint little way of enjoying herself. It is her recreation from the arduous task of improving society and elevating the moral tone of the world. The Climax of her enjoyment is reached when she is hooted out of the village. She then feels that she has not lived in vain. Here let us draw a veil over the proceedings of this last and most alarming form of wild woman. I’erhajis some people may think that this picture is exaggerated. We only wish it were! Let scoffers but become acquainted with the wild woman, and the unpleasant truth will force itself upon them. But. no! We will be charitable. If they see the wild woman looming in the distance, let them fly her. There are some things into which it is well not to pry.