The Home Training of Children.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXV, Issue VI, 11 August 1900, Page 273

The Home Training of Children.

(By Charles Horner, Associate of the College of Preceptors.)

George Eliot, with her great insight into human nature, has told us that “what we have been makes us what we are.” There is a deep truth in these words. The fabric of a man’s character is the result of countless forces acting and interacting through many years. Yet there is no doubt that it is during early years, before the child has left home, that its character is practically set. During this time every mother has it in her power to a great extent to mould the character of the future man or woman. Character has been well described as a “bundle of habits." And habits, as we all know, are formed by repeated acts. The great educationalist Locke has said: "That which I cannot too often inculcate is, that whatever the matter be about which it is conversant, whether great or small, the main. I had almost said only thing, to be considered in every action of a child is what influence it will have upon his mind; what habit it tends to, and is likely to settle In him; how it will become him when he is bigger, and if it be encouraged whither it will lead him when he is grown up.” Every act a child does tends either to strengthen a good habit or to confirm a bad one. What significance, then, has the first exhibition of temper. the first falsehood or theft, the first leaning towards the evil side. One falsehood told, the next is easier; others follow, until the act crystallises into a habit. Here, as in everything else, ease comes with practice.

Yet how many mothers there are who allow these beginnings to go unchecked, saying. “He will know better bye-and-bye.” But bye-and-bye is too late. The mighty oak was onee a tiny seedling which a baby's foot could have crushed. As we grow older the capacity for change and modification ceases. The mental and moral character set as well as the bodily frame. No mother, then, can fail to see the vast importance of early training. If a child is made to be punctual at its duties, punctual in going to bed, and punctual in rising, that child will form the habit of punctuality, and throughout life this will form an element —and what an important one —in his character. If the first exhibitions of hastiness, peevishness, sullenness or obstinacy be cheeked at once, they will never take firm root. These signs are like little seedlings, first showing their tender leaves. Now they can be eradicated or fostered, but soon they will have grown stronger and too firmly rooted.

How careless we are, too, in giving praise and blame. An angry look or kind word means much to an infant. Should a child, through some thoughtless act, incur its mother’s displeasure, that fault, whatever it may be, will always remain associated with the mother’s angry word or look. And so it is with praise. If Tommy takes a ball of pretty wool and unrolls and twists it all, he generally gets slapped. But does he deserve chastisement? It is as natural to a child to seize a pretty object as it is for a duck to take to the water. At this age there is no distinction between meum and tuum.

All that is pleasing to any of the senses, especially the eyes, baby says he must have. These early years are years of sense growth. We must remember that during this time the child gathers ideas of colour, time, hardness, weight, etc. Discrimination between good and bad is a mental process, and must not be expected till later years. Therefore. the child must be taught, very gradually, to correct these feelings, hut not by resorting to punishment. Very few of us. too, realise what a strong passion curiosity is in children, and how strong is the craving to know the why and wherefore of everything. In most infants this passion outweighs all others. And why not? Consider yourself suddenly transported to Mars. That is analogous to the child's position to some extent. To gratify this feeling baby will pull flowers to bits, pick an

insect to pieces, or inquire into the mysteries of dolly’s anatomy to see why it speaks. The mother who does not pause to consider, puts this down to wilful destructiveness or cruelty, and baby is punished. What is the result? When the ehild is prompted by curiosity to inquire into the mechanism of anything. the painful memory of past experiences stays his hand. Then the ehild either desists or does it secretly. Both courses are bad. The former injures a branch of mental development (baby may be a Newton or Stephenson). the latter sows the seeds of deceit and untruthfulness. And this through a thoughtless word or look. How incumbent on us it is then to watch the infant in its tender years, cheeking the evil, and fostering the good, watching for the springing up of the cockle which chokes the wheat. ,