AS SEEN THROUGH WOMAN’S EYES.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXIV, Issue XX, 19 May 1900, Page 953

AS SEEN THROUGH WOMAN’S EYES.

MAN’S IDEAL WOMAN. “The Men’s Ideal Woman” is the subject of an article by Carrie E. Garrett in the “Woman’s Home Companion,” who says:—“She is not necessarily a peri, though man is accredited, and justly, with a decided bias in favour of good looks. Helen has alv ays, and ever will, absorb a. great many of the perquisites of life. She is the theme of song and story. She gets all the best partners at dances. The mere consciousness of her own loveliness enables her to do and say gracefully a thousand things which a plainer girl would boggle over. She has cakes and ale in plenty, and to spare, but she does not achieve all the substantial prizes of life; and when we consider that to one Helen we have several thousand "plainer girls,’ this seems a merciful dispensation of Providence. Sometimes a quiet little mouse of a girl, apparently making no effort to attract, and considered entirely harmless, will carry off the best matrimonial prize of the season. Whereat numerous ladies will exclaim, ‘What in the world did he see in her?’ Ah! he did not choose her with his eyes alone. Man has a number of fixed old-fashioned notions about the ideal woman which are quite apart, from questions of complexion and dress. She is not. an extravagantly peerless creature.

“This vision of his dreams, which is revealed to him through the blue smoke of a good cigar, is, first of all —lovable. Now, loviableness is the distilled product of innumerable delightful things cunningly blended. So when one attempts to describe a lovable woman mere language is feeble to do her justice. She is indescribable, and we can only repeat, she is lovable.

“The ideal woman has charm. That is another quality which it is most difficult to dissect and explain. It may only be felt. In the person of an unscrupulous woman it may do deadly mischief, for men do not and cannot resist it. But, happily, goodness and charm are entirely compatible, and dear to the heart of man is the woman who has been gifted with both. “One thing imperatively demanded in the make-up of the ideal woman is sympathy—that, all-divining, aill-for-giving quality which makes the whole world akin. Sympathy is one of the prime factors of charm. So is humour. A man is fearfully lonesome when his wife cannot see his jokes. She could hardly offer him a more deadly affront than to laugh in the wrong place at one of his pet stories. “A man does not picture a completely limp and characterless creature as his soul’s ideal, however “sweet.” Yet the woman as she appears in his dreams is not too clever. It is a pleasure to him to be a little superior to his mate —to be ‘looked up to’—and as the true woman desires to ‘look up,’ it is clear that Nature’s arrangements in these matters are not. without design.

"The most charming woman of all is she who has the consummate wit to seem to ‘look up’ when really she stands on a level with the man who loves her, or, perchance, a little above him.

“As woman detests of all things a ‘womanish’ man, so man abhors with all his soul a mannish woman. He may have a jolly time with the type of girl which we call "masculine,’ and which men sometimes describe as a ‘good fellow,’ but she has not the slightest, power to disturb the ideal, which is first, last, and always pure womanly. He regards a ‘mannish’ woman ns a grotesque caricature of himself, and esteems her accordingly. He does not desire a duplicate or a parody, but an accessory. “The ideal woman is religious—has the wise, sweet, old-fashioned notions about right and wrong. A man is quite capable of making merry over his wife’s scruples of conscience, but I think he would l>e rather disappointed if she had no such scruples—if in his worldly way she was guided chiefly by expedience. He may not say many prayers himself, but he likes to know that his children pray at their mother's knee. Perhaps he sometimes reflects that the nightly petition from innoeent lips. ‘God bless father." may not. Ih* quite empty of meaning. “The sober truth is that, while men

may seek diversion with the more showy, flippant type of girl, and are often caught by mere glitter, they have an ideal far, far aoove this cheap type which is imperishable.”

® ® ® OU it OLD BOOTS: WHAT BECOMES OF THEM?

Probably a large number of people do not trouble their heads in the least as to what becomes of their cast-off foot gear, but I daresay it may interest them to know that it is not wasted, even if thrown into the dust bin.

From that receptacle it is rescued bj; the scavengers, and a very large amount of the old leather is eventu* ally ground up into a fine pulp (after having first been carefully soaked to remove all dirt), pressed into large sheets and then used for making the tops of carriages, or for the cheaper sort of leather binding for books, or for the embossed wall papers which are now so fashionable, and which have such a handsome appearance. This particular form of decoration is nothing but a. thick paper covered with a thin layer of the pressed leather pulp, on which are handsome designs in bronze, old gold, and other expen, sive colours.

Many of the better shoes are sold to dealers, who make the refurbishing up of old foot gear a most profitable business. The best parts of two pairs of boots under their hands will make one decent pair, which will be much appreciated by a poor customer who cannot afford to buy a good new pair. Or two odd boots are made to resemble one another and make a pair, and, 0$ course, as the dealer has paid very little for them he can afford to sell them again, even the best of them, for a less price than a commoner pair of quite new boots. A certain citizen of Newcastle was aware of the value of properly repaired old boots and shoes, and solely from charitable motives he started a depot for old boots, which has proved a great benefit to the deserving poor, many of whom without it would probably have gone barefoot. The work was begun by circulars being issued to the householders asking- for gifts of old boots and shoes, and offering to send a collector for them to all who would give notice at the depot that they have such “rubbish” to dispose of.

This appeal met with a ready response, and care being taken that the gifts should only fall into the hands of those who needed charity, poverty has been relieved, and far better than if the l>oots and shoes had not been first repaired at the depot of the charitable middleman

Could not philanthropic folk do the same kind of thing elsewhere? Not only boots and shoes, but all sorts of clothing would find a ready sale among the poor if they were mended neatly, whereas worn clothing-, if given away unmended usually soon rinds its way to an old clothes shop, ami seldom indeed is the sum realised by its sale of any great value to the reei pient.

® © ® BASSINETS FOR BABY AND THEIR USE.

Where baby shall sleep from the very first day of his appearance is a. subject upon which far too little thought is usually expended. The mother usually either lays him on the bed next to her or else upon a. pillow which rests ii|x>u two ehairs beside the mother's bed.

Both of these places for baby's sleep are objectionable. In the first place, no baby should lie under the same covers as the mother. Not only is she apt to turn upon him. and thus injure him unawares, but if he be a nursing baby he will soon acquire the habit of demanding food at frequent intervals the night through. The pillow is as bad. It is altogether too soft to sup[K>rt the weak little back, and it does not admit of baby’s being tucked in as snugly as is desirable when he first appears. Some mothers lay their child in the carriage. This would do at a pinch for awhile, if it contained a mattress laid upon a pillow, in order to raise it high enough to give the baby air, but he should not lie put in the bottom of the carriage or upon a pillow alone. Some mothers use the

erib right from the beginning. This, of eour.se. is all right, but it is not so desirable at the outset, as it is a trifle too large to allow of the elose tucking spoken of above, and as it gives no sort of support to the weak frame. Nothing can be found that is better for all round purposes than the cane bassinet. This comes "n several sizes, is very light, and rests upon a small stand, from which it can be lifted at will. It has the advantage that it is light and portable, and therefore convenient to carry tjie baby about in without disturbing him.

For the mother who feels that she cannot afford to pay £' 1 10/ or £2 for a bassinet, the clothesbasket is recommended as an excellent substitute. But care should be had in selecting it to get one with sides not too high, and, if possible, with sides of very open weaving. If this is not practicable, the mattress can be raised high in the basket, resting upon a pillow which lifts it almost to tin' top.

But whether the mother elects to have the crib at. once or chooses the bassinet, the arrangement of the bed should be the same in eitherca.se. First of all. there must l>e a mattress of soft curled hair. This is essential. Billows are not fit for baby to lie upon. His back needs a firm support. He should not. lie upon one in the carriage when later on he is taken out. A small mattress e:in be fitted to the carriage, and sometimes the one for the bassinet will fit the carriage.

Over the mattress should be laid a piece of rubber cloth to cover its entire width, and alxmt eighteen inches in length. This is not necessary during the first few months of life. It is only when baby is old enough to roll and move about freely in h's crib that this becomes desirable. Over the mattress. then, is laid the sheet of muslin or linen, upon which rests a small, thin

pillow of feathers or hair, preferably the latter, covered with a linen case. Over the sheet, in the centre, just beneath the pillow, is placed the pad. ’Phis is made of the very best quality of white Turkish towelling, and a-bout twelve im*hes square. It is fastened wth buttons or tapes. Into it is slipped a doubled piece of rubber cloth. This will prevent moisture penetratingto the sheet. Now come the second sheet and the crib blankets. These may be the knitted blankets of cream white yarn, the softly quilted cheese cloth blankets, with carded wool or cotton between, or. for the more fortunate baby, the comfortable of down. One of the comfortables or a pair of blankets ought to lie enough, unless the teni|M rature be very low. Have everything about the bed spotless. Change the Iwdding morning ami evening. Have plenty of pads. Hang the night bedding in the sun to air each day. Never put a thing back upon the bed if it l»ecomes the least. bit soiled. Sponge the rubber (doth off every day with a two per cent, solution of carbolic acid.

ABOUT EARLY RISING. From a very ancient date there has been a class of wise-acres which has been unwilling to admit that any good could emanate from those who did not "rise with the lark.” These would-be philosophers held mere early rising to be a virtue which covered a multitude of sins, ami that early retiring, and early rising, would make men "healthy, wealthy, and wise,” despite the fact that milkmen, chimney sweeps, ami others, who are earliest out of their beds, were never distinguished for these characteristics or acquirements. Should one argue that early rising, like cold baths in winter, did not agree with all constitutions, he would be referred to the sluggard, or to the early bird, or to some other person or thing having not the least possible relation to the circumstances.

These good people are not aware t hat they have mistaken a habit for a characteristic, and you could not convince them that it is as often a bad as a good trait. They have never observed that many evil-doers are frequently stirring about early in the morning.

If, however, early rising is used by 1 hem as an argument for forehandedness, then much that is said may be true; still, it is really more important that a man should obtain a sufficient amount of refreshing sleep than that he should rise each morning at a given hour. Poor Richard averred that, “A man who rises late may trot all day without overtaking his business,” but that depends wholly upon his gait. If his sleep has been plentiful and refreshing. he can trot pretty fast without causing fatigue. In a word, it is the recuperative power which we have gained by sleep, much more than the time we arise, which determines our working power, in any direction, for the day. To be sure, it. will not do for the bakers or for the milkmen to lie in their beds too late in the morning. but the merchants or the professional men need not get up so early, provided, of course, that their business has been properly attended to before retiring. The merchant need not be on hand much before his customers, who are not wont to stir about until they have partaken of their morning meal. We are often informed that overactivity, not indolence, is the besetting sin of the average American; lienee, the nervous prostrations and their attending brain disorders, insomnia among them, are, alas, too common, and pale, haggard-looking individuals are more often seen here than rotund, well-favoured, comfort-able-appearing people. More recreation and healthful sleep, therefore, are the demand of the hour, rather than early rising, which entails a yawning stupid existence the livelong day. Should one’s business demand early rising, early retiring should then be religiously followed, in order to obtain the requisite number of hours in sleep, that best and only restorer of tired nature. The ability to exist without much sleep is nothing to boast of, neither is it worth while to plume one’s self above ordinary mortals on the ground of being out of bed an hour or two before the rest of mankind; for it is a great mistake to suppose that every hour taken from sleep is just so much time gained. Later in life we may discover that it lias been so much time wasted, unless sufficient sleep has been secured to recuperate fully from the wear and tear of the daily work.— "Demorest's Magazine.” ® ® A BIIAI TY IS LESS RARE TO-DAY Something over a handled years ago the benui ful Miss Gunnings were the observed of all observers. These historic sisters could not take a walk in town without being mobbed by adoring! crowds; one day. in the Strand, they had to take refuge in a shop from the too persistent attentions of the populace, and in the end His Majesty the King assig ed to them a bodyguard so that in fuGi e they might take without risk of over much annoynnee such exercise as was necessary to keep their complexion clear. Nowadays, says n writer in

“ The Gem,” it would be safe enough Io wager that these same girls, could they be resuscitated, might walk where other fashionable people walk

without receiving more notice than the backward glance of a few pedestrians, and possibly an impertinent word or two from an occasional impertinent man. Nowadays, too, instead of tinding in their faces a passport to weillock with great nobles, they would probably, like their plainer sisters, marry ordinary well-to-do middle-class householders—thsit is, supposing, of course, that they did not belong by right of birth and fortune to the upper strata 01 society—

and settle down to ordinary well-to-do middle-class life. In their circle of friends, remarks would lie passed upon their beauty, but that would be all. ® ® ® WHEN MAY WEDS DECEMBER. WHAT ARE 'THE CHANCES OF HAPPINESS. This question, often asked, is too large to be answered by a simple yes or no. Circumstances modify individual eases. Of course when veritable December, hoar and withered, courts blooming May, and May consents, for reasons shamelessly mercenery, to wed December, the irony of the situation is evident. Eighty and eighteen cannot wed without subsequent wretchedness. They have no foot of common ground to stand on. Fortunately such eases are rare.

Men, as a rule, retain youth longer than women do. A woman at forty is older than her brother of the same age, matiirer in her way of looking at life, physically older, unless she has a special endowment of health and courage. There are always exceptional men and women who defy the ordinary rule and remain young when they are approaching the meridian. It is much as one feels—this subtle question of growing old.

TWO OR THREE YEARS ON EITHER SIDE ARE UNIMPORTANT.

A husband and wife may be of the same age, yet have few tastes which are congenial. One may love society, the other may be obstinately domestic. One may be a- spendthrift, the other a churl. Two or three years on either side are of no moment. When we speak of disparity we mean anywhere from seven to twenty years to the good, or the bad, in the age of husband and wife.

Here, again, a man may safely be much older than his wife without exciting much comment. The man of forty is not, unless life has gone terribly hard with him, an unfit comrade for a girl of twenty. In ease of a man’s second marriage, he almost always chooses a youthful wife, and the two jog on very contentedly together.

All along the line a man is relatively younger than a woman until both reach middle age. There is, perhaps, a ten years’ handicap on woman physically, if not mentally, until she arrives at the tableland which is marked by her fiftieth milestone. In thinking of marriage, people should bear in mind that it is sacramental in character and a joining of hands and fortunes for the whole journey of life. “'l’ill death do us part” is the solemn undertone of every wedding march. WOMEN AGE EARLIER THAN MEN. Women grow old faster than men, and are sensitive on the subject. Therefore, on general principles, the wife should be the younger. Marriage, broadly defined, is life’s closest friendship in purest and most intimate daily association. It is two made one, fronting the world together. Its happiness depends on responsive qualities, quick sympathies, and reciprocal unselfishness. These conditions are often fulfilled to the uttermost in marriages wherein the wife is conspicuously and frankly older than her husband. She has tact anil patience and infinite tenderness in dealing with her good man. She is apt to look well to his material comforts. He has good dinners, and his socks are darned. Men need and like petting and cosseting. They require to be duly fed and starched ami kept respectable in appearance. They gird at frayed cuffs and cold coffee. The younger woman is self-nbsorbed. as the (’lder is not, or she does not s > lavishly bestow the mother-brooding wh’ch a man never grows too old to enjoy. What everybody craves in marriage is to be understood and appreciated. Disparity of age is of small consequence when this consummation is reached. M ARG A RET SA NGSTER. In “Home Chat,”

AT WHAT AGE SHOULD GIRLS MARKY?

The age at which girls should marry is a subject upon which teachers of social economy, philosophers and mothers have discoursed long and learnedly since the time when the first mother began to plan for the future of her offspring. In the day of our great-grand-mothers girls undertook the cares and responsilnlities of married life almost before they were out of the nursery. Marriage was then looked i , on, especially by the girls their : elves, as the chief end and aim of existence. Now, however, in this day of advanced thought, the girl—that is, the sensible girl—usually waits until the right man comes along, even though she be well along in the thirties before this happens. An article on this subject by Sarah Grand appeared in a recent issue of the American “Queen.” It is so interesting that I give it here for the benefit of those who find in this subject ground for d’scussion.

“The age at which girlsj should marry is one of the questions which people are prone to consider by the light of their own personal experience. Ideas on the subject of the age at which girls should marry vary considerably. When wives and daughters were the goods and chattels and men had the principal say in the matter, little girls were cruelly forced to marry at the beginning instead of the completion of the change from childhood to womanhood. They were made wives, that is to say. while they were still far from being perfectly developed women physically, and were utterly immature mentally, with all their naturally womanly instincts which are the only safe guide in the matter still in abeyance. Fortunately the iniquity and absurdity of this have been thoroughly exposed, and now if parents attempted to pitchfork

their little daughters of from 12 to 16 into matrimony as they did w th impunity not so very long ago the whole world would cry shame upon them. “The whole tendency of the modern education for girls is to prolong their girlhood. The ghastly uoctrine that this is necessarily a wicked world, in which misery must be our portion, no longer finds general acceptance. It is a favourite axiom with us nowadays that every age has its pleasure, or should have, with a fair chance—

childhood, girlhood, womanhood—and to get the full value out of each. Our intelligent girls begin to have ideas of their own on the subject of the disposition of their lives, prompted, no doubt, by mothers of a new order. They do not care to be put off with half an education and hustled into matrimony while they still should be doing their school course. They like to enjoy as they go along. They combine recreation with study, and delight in everything, and it is not until they have had the foundation of a good general education that they begin to be serious on the subject of matrimony. Serious is quite the right word for their attitude. The meaning of life has begun to interest them, and they pause to inquire. What they demand in a husband is comrade, friend, and lover —a superior in attainments and talents, by all means, if possible—but one who must appreciate her all round for what she is.

“She decidedly objects to marrying an extinguisher, who would tell her that her proper place is in the nursery and kitehen, with an inflection on the words that tell her that the nursery and the kitchen are more worthily regulated without mental advancement, and the care of them necessarily precludes any further degree of cultivation. To such a suitor the modern girl replies, ‘Not for me, my good man, I am a versatile be'ng', in whom are infinite possibilities, and I mean to make the most of myself.

By so doing 1 T make the most of you, 100, aml of every one with whom 1 come in contact.’ Think'ng thus for herself, the model 11 girl grows gradually more seif-respecting. She recognises the full indelicacy of l»eing bought up as wares for the market, to be disposed of to a suitor, ami sees no sense in it, either. Let the suitor come and find her. She knows that a woman’s life is no longer considered a failure simply because she does not marry, and this makes her not only independent, bu,t somewhat defiant, the position being st 11 sufficiently new to be wondered at and not wholly ap-

proved. “The pendulum, however, swings towards approval. We have considerably less jeering at old maids than formerly, and we frequently nowadays hear of single women whose independence and fuller interests make them the envy of many a married sister, whose health has suffered and I‘berty been circuni'scrilx’d by what are too often the thankless cares of married life.” © ® © THE HEALTHFUL ONION. If one will eat a bit of cheese, a pinch of ground coffee, or a crust of sweet bread, directly after eating onions, they may not be afraid that their breath will be offensive. Onions have medicinal as well as epicurean qualities. A cold, in its first stages, may often be broken up by a bowlful of hot onion bisque. Boil a pint bowlful of onions in water, changing the water three times. This robs them of much c-f their odour, and renders them safe for the most delicate stomach. When the onions are tender the water should be nearly all absorbed; add three cups of hot milk, thicken sKg*tiy with a teaspoonful of corn starch wet with cold milk, boil three minutes, season with cayenne pepper, and pass through a- sieve, pressing all the pulp of the onion through. Serve while very hot.

For a brown soup, fry the onions with a pinch of sugar, dredge with a tablespoonful of Hour, cover with a half-pint of water and cook till tentier; add a quart of hot broth and press through a coarse sieve. In the charming French village of Pierrefonds. at a quaint inn on the border of the lake, an inn famous for its omelets and soups, you are served with a delicious onion soup, made as follows: Pa iv, parboil three times, and cook till tender, a quart of small, white button onions; add a pint of green peas, a quart of chicken broth, and seasonings, and pour into the tureen oxer inch squares of bread, buttered and toasted in the hot oven.

Anotln r French onion soup calls for four dozen v<»ry small white onions; fry these a light brown in a little butter. dredge with two tablespoonfuls of Hour, add a quart of cold water and two quarts of veal broth, and simmer till the onions are tender. Pour into a tureen over sippets of dried bread well sprinkled with Gruyere cheese. Another onion soup is made by frying four large sliced onions, using beef broth instead of veal, and parmesan cheese for the toast.

An onion soup with eggs is made by frying a pint of sliced onions, adding a quart each of water and broth, and simmering till tender, when four egg yolks, beaten with a little milk, are stirred in. Stir constantly, until smoking hot, and serve with croutons, pass<‘<l in a separate dish.

Oysters with onions is a noted Philadelphia dish. Remove the layers from four large onions until you have bulbs no larger than English walnuts; cut these in small dice and fry in butter the size of an egg, till yellow. The butter must not be allowed to scorch or burn. Now add fifty oysters with their juice, salt. pep|x»r. cayenne, and a slight pinch of allspice, and as soon as the oysters begin to ruffle their beards, finish with two ounces of butter and a tablespoonful of minced parsley.