THE BIG AND THE LITTLE OF IT.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXIV, Issue VII, 17 February 1900, Page 336

THE BIG AND THE LITTLE OF IT.

"A big man,” said the big man, “is at a considerable disadvantage in an argument with a little man.” “I have heard it said,” said the little man, “that big men are rather slow witted.” “It isn’t that,” returned the big man, hastily. “The trouble is that the little man has the sympathy of the audience. It looks as if the big man had an undue advantage; the little man knows this, and that gives him an advantage. If the big man allows the little man to get the best of him, people say he is a big coward; if he settles the little man, people say he is a big bully. Now, when I get into a quarrel with a little man, I settle it diplomatically.” “Oh, you do, do you?” said the little man, bristling up. “Yes, I do. I lay my hand on his shoulder in a friendly way, and give it a rather heavy squeeze.” "Here!” said the little man, wam-

ingly. “Then I take him by the scruff of the neck — “Ugh!” —“And bounce him up and down three or four times. Then 1 move him round like this for about two minutes.” “Say, look here!” “When the breath is pretty well out of him, and ail the conceit, T smilingly give him a shove about five yards along the floor. Having thus given him an object lesson, I ask him to take a drink.” The little man smoothed his rumpled clothes, and gave the big man a withering look. “No, sir,” he exclaimed; “I will not drink with you, sir! You are a big bully, and —and —” And he flew out of the room.