AS SEEN THROUGH WOMAN’S EYES.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXIII, Issue XI, 9 September 1899, Page 457

AS SEEN THROUGH WOMAN’S EYES.

THE MOTHER-IN-LAW. Du mothers-in-law deserve their reputation? It depends. there are two Kinds of inotners-iu-law—the wile's mother and tne husbands mother. The wife’s mother is she who ngures most conspicuously in family triction. The husband’s mother, on the other hand, disappears so shortly Irom sight, along with many of the bachelor s triends, that she has not become much of a bugbear. The mother of tne young wife has likely helped to bring about the marriage. She has judiciously and carefully suggested to her future son-in-law the excellent domestic qualities and economical bent of mind of her paragon of a daughter,anditisshewho as a result becomes an arbiter in the new household, where, forgetful of her former domestic ideals, she tells her son-in-law what dress her daughter must have, what allowance is due her. She suggests her amusements, when, having got thus far, his actions come under observation—“ Daughter, whydoes William return from business later than your father?” “Why is he still a member of the Club?” “Do you think Mr A. and Mr B. (bachelor friends) are now desirable acquaintances?” etc. She is seldom afraid of her son-in-law, while the easy masculine intelligence is unlikely- to dream of any “sapping” tactics.

With the husband’s mother the relationship is quite different. Before marriage the intended bride is devoted to her husband’s mother, and the mother trusts that while to some extent she loses a son she gains a daughter. In very few instances is the husband’s mother allowed to interfere in the domestic plans of her son’s household. All young wives are apt to be jealous of every affection in their husband’s life preceding their own appearance, and the husband’s mother comes in for a decided share. Her position as time goes on and children come along becomes a most difficult one to hold. To retain the love of her © © © son she must have that of her son’s wife, and if she puts faith in the bride’s previous protestations and is ready with advice and help she is “interfering.” If, on the other hand, she is cautious and reserved, made so perhaps by previous experience, “she takes no interest.” When this state of affairs exists it is the fault of the husband quite as much as that of the wife. It is his privilege to remember that the woman is his mother, and whatever his wife may be his dutyremains the same. There are mothers-in-law of all sorts, and in our judgment of them we must try to realise that their relationship is difficult to maintain to the satisfaction of all. Perhaps they would receive kinder judgment and deserve it if every husband would remember that his own wife may some day become some other man’s mother-in-law. —Elizabeth Beach. in the “American Queen.” © © © TWO OLD-FASHIONED FADS. Knitting, that dear old custom of half a century ago, is to be the smart girl’s newest pastime during the outing days at the seashore and the mountains. When off for a yachting cruise she will while away the hours on deck with her knitting. On the piazza, after dinner she will sit demurely- clinking the sharpest of needles to the accompaniment of the ehatter of the men. She will be seen knitting on the lawn under fluffy parasols, on the beach, and on the trains to Bar Harbour and the northern hills. Now, anyone who has watched a pretty woman knitting knows that it shows off rosy- fingers and dimpled wrists as nothing else in the world ean, unless it be a harp, and the unsuspecting man who offers to carry the summer girl’s knitting bag had better keep a close hold on his heartstrings. Another fad. and one quite as fetching in its way, is the fashion of wearing one’s hair in braids. Of course, this will be seen during the morning hours only, never later than luncheon time, but for golfing and boating it will be the jolliest fad of the summer girl who has any hair. Tn the other girl it won’t. Sometimes the nln.it will be divided Marguerite style, but most

often there will be but one long braid and at the end a tiny knot of ribbon to harmonise with the shirt waist or frock. This manner of wearing the hair is said to be both healthy and cool, to say nothing of the schoolgirl effect on a prettv head. © © © TO CLEAN WHITE GLOVES. First, put the soiled glove on the hand; take a cake of white soap, dip it into cold water: take a piece of fine white flannel, rub it on the damp soap and rub lightly over the soiled glove. Second, rub'the glove with cream of tartar. This latter method is much more troublesome than the first, but it makes the glove look like new. © © © BEAUTY NOTES. PATTI’S RECIPE FOR WRINKLES. The face is more exposed to the dust and soil of daily life than any other part of the frame. The hands are gloved when we go out, but the face is unprotected save by a thin veil, which very- often rather adds to the evil of dirt than averts it. Consequently, the face needs more washing than even the hands. And this is how it should be done. The water must not be quite cold in winter, and soap should be used but once a day. The fingers are better than any sponge or glove or flannel, and they should be used as the masseuse uses hers, pressing them firmly but gently- into the skin, and passing them two or three times over every inch of the face. More particular pains should be devoted to the cor ners, where dust is always liable to lodge, around the eyes. nose and mouth. If a washcloth is used it should be of the softest and finest, and plenty of water should be applied after the soap so as to wash it all away. The drying process should be equally thorough and effectual, a hurried rub opening the effectual, a huried rub opening the way to all sorts of roughness and chappings. Not one girl in twenty knows how to wash her face, and that is the reason why massage flourishes. It thoroughly cleanses. The following is Mme. Patti’s secret of a beautiful complexion: “I get one pound of fat mutton. It is hard, like suet. Upon a little alcohol stove in my room I try it out. Slowly- the grease, simmers in my little white dish until there is a warm, swimming cupful of fat. This I run through a little hair sieve which I carry with me. Once tried out I take the fat, which is now the purest mutton tallow, and stir into it as much glycerine as there is fat. Into this I put a few drops of perfume. I keep stirring gently- until it b gins to fiarden. When it is done I put it in little stone jars. Every night before retiring I massage with this cream. It keeps away wrinkles.” © © © A CHILD’S MANNERS. It is very- important that a child should be carefully instructed in the little niceties of life—that it should be taught politeness, consideration for the feelings of others, self control, and everything that goes to make up that greatly- desired requisite—charming manners.

Nor is it enough that it should be so taught by precept. Example is indispensable. Parents cannot be too careful as to how they conduct themselves in the presence of their children. Children, as a rule, are nothing if not imitative.

Children should early be permitted to take their meals with their parents. If. when the family are alone, polite ness and thoughtfulness to one another are shown, the force of habit will ensure their good behaviour in company.

© © © THE GIFT OF PERSONAL.CHARM

The possession of a charm to win the love of others is perhaps desired by many above all other.gifts, and yet few of those who desire it seek it in the right way. We cannot win it. strangely enough, by personal adornment. nor. indeed, by any direct consideration of dur own qualities, for egotism is always the foe of personal

eharm. In a recent issue of the “Woman’s Home Companion” Florence Hull Winterburn attempts to solve the problem, and says: “In the brilliant and intellectual society of Washington I met in my younger days a woman who had the reputation among her friends of being a siren. I heard a man say once that her voice had a quality in it that could draw a person to her if she was in another room, out of sight. She did not sing, was not beautiful, nor veryintellectual: you could never recall anything worth remembering in her conversation. unless some phrase elung to you from the peculiar sweetness of tone in which it had been uttered. and yet one would go far out of his way for a few moments of her society. It was the gift of fascination, the indefinable charm, so often spoken of by- novelists, that was the little lady’s claim to distinction. Poets, after exhausting themselves in description of a favourite heroine's beauties, add this as the crown of praise.

“Nothing is more difficult to analyse. Voice, manner, expression, all enter into it, and still all three of these may lx- present, and the spirit of the thing —that which makes it powerful—be lacking. Perhaps most of us have known in our lives at least one man or woman, more probably a woman, whose personality lingers in our memory like a> golden summer afternoon, or the sound of the sea by moonlight —anything that is most sweet and pleasant and deeply longed for. She may be pretty or plain, accomplished or simple, but there is always that ineffable touch about her that gives the impression of restfulness: that conveys an unspoken permission to an acquaintance to be himself without effort or disguise, and be sure of being understood. It is a wonderfid faculty, this of making oneself a lovely haunting presence to the mind that has once known us. and it is as rare as wonderful.”

Looking about her, Mrs Winterburn probes to the heart of the subject when she says: “There is a strong tendency just now toward absorption in self-culture. Individualism versus humanity is the deduction drawn by many from the new philosophy. Everywhere we see a iiard brilliancy, a eold surface that reflects back what is shed upon it, indicating self-suffi-ciency without emotions.

“It is the extreme opposite of that winning quality called by the poets and novelists ‘indefinable charm;’ exactly as opposite as egotism and altruism are. The first essential to pleasing is not. as it has often been said to be, a desire to please, but a desire to make your companion pleased with himself.”

She goes on then to say in effect that, as we are all most pleased with what concerns ourselves, the person who forgets herself and enters into the feelings of others and dispenses flattery in a tactful manner is the person whose charm is unfailing. It seems to us, however, that flattery might be left out of the question: sympathy (which only the cynical ean call disguised flattery) is the true secret of charm. But only the unselfish woman, she who can forget herself in her intercourse with others, can accomplish the witchery of personal charm. As we look at it, Mrs Sara Henton, in a farm exchange, writing on the subject of “Trying to Make Ourselves Lovable." has given the best explanation of “personal charm,” as follows: “It isn't every one that can be beautiful, but it is within the reach of all to be lovable. We frequently spend our time in wondering why we are not loved, instead of trying to make ourselves worthy of being loved. ‘Oh! do you think. Mrs Henton, 1 could make people love me?’ said a. litffie woman, who was bright and vivacious, but had cultivated the habit of speaking sarcastically. She continued talking, saying. ‘I know I can never be beautiful, but I could l>e reconciled to that if I could only be fascinating and have people love me and seek me.' ‘You can do so,’ 1 said. ‘I am a firm believer in cultivating gifts that add to the charming personality of a woman, but the first virtue is unselfishness. Your natural advantages and intellectual gifts will avail you but

little unless you add to them tact, unselfishness, ami a kind heart, gentleness ami an abundant supply of sympathy and womanliness.’ The most charming woman I ean call to mind was this same little woman two years after that conversation.

"She was in earnest about wishing to be popular; she really craved affection, and was willing to mend her ways. She was intelligent and a fine conversationalist, but not narrowminded. Sthe began to cultivate a spirit of unselfishness—she thrust herself aside, and pretty soon she began to marvel at her popularity. I Itoarded in the same house with her; it was a charming home for us. am! numbered some twenty or more in the home. She had married at 16, her husband 19: she was an only daughter. and of course had been spoiled and indulged. Her husband had some reverses in business some years after their marriage, and he had to accept a position which took him from home a great deal. She said confidently to me: ‘lt's worth striving for to be loved. 1 see,' she said, ‘that when people turn from me there is something about me that repulses them. 1 will correct it.' And she did. She noticed first that the little children loved her. When she was sick her little Sunday-school class brought her flowers and dainties, and inquired about her with interest. Next, old people came to see her. I heard of kindnesses done to a lonely widow, or an invalid. Her husband was among the first to perceive the change. I heard him say to her: ‘Nell, you are geting prettier every day. it's because you're so good; it shines in your eyes; it's becoming to you.' Her face would beam with satisfaction. She grew to be one of the most charming of women. She gave up saying sarcastic things. She tried to see the best side of humanity. She cultivated the best traits, aimed high, had a noble purpose—to be worthy of being loved by her neighbours, friends, and members of her household." © © © WOMEN'S MOUTHS AND CHARACTER. A certain philosopher declares that a woman is known by her mouth. Not by the words that issue therefrom, but by the shape and colour of the lips, and the lines and dimples that gather about this important feature. He is supported in his theory by physiognomists, who all endeavour to impress us with the fact that no woman with the small, red lipped ‘Cupid bow" mouth, so praised in song and story, was ever intellectual or generous of heart, and, says “Woman's Life." it is consoling to those whose mouths are not in accordance with the lines of beauty laid down by the poets to be told that a “wide, straight mouth, with strong, white teeth." denotes the woman of superior intelligence, goodness of heart, strength of mind and a thousand and one other sterling qualities which we all like to think we possess. It is the fashion at present for women to hold their lips very slightly tipart. This is supposed to give that innocent, wistful, wondering expression which was the peculiar property of the heroines of old fashioned novels, but which bicycle rilling and kindred modern amusements have eaused to vanish. It is difficult for the thin lipped, determined woman to acquire this trick, but perseverance works wonders. COVERS FOR BOOKS.

When the children's favourite book grows shabby it may be renovated bygiving it an embroidered cover. Cut a piece of brown holland. or, if you choose, one of the pretty art linens, two inches wider and four inches longer than the liook. Turn in an inch at the top and bottom, and measure the linen carefully around the book, turning the extra length inside. Sew this to the outside, forming a kind of pocket at each eml. into which the cover is slipped.

The linen may be decorated with any simple device in embroidery, or with a wreath of holly berries and leaves with the owner’s initials in the middle, or a monogram, or the name of the book.

HISTORY OF II AIK DRESSING COIFFURES OF MANY CENTURIES.

That all is vanity even the most optimistic man is willing* to concede when he touches upon the sex which we all know stands midway between him and the angels. Messrs 11. Bezencon, the writer, and Saint Eime Gautier, the artist, are men. What is more, they are Frenchmen. In a recent niinflier of the Ganlois they have

joined pen and pencil in the effort to produce and illumine an historical sketch of that most poignant of all feminine vanities, the dressing of the hair. M. Bezeneon starts out boldly with the assertion that none of all the coquetries of the sex from the re-

motest antiquity to our present days deserves so careful a study as this. From all eternity, it would seem, we hear the click of Delilah’s scissors and see streaming in the firmament the brilliancy of the hair constellation of Berenice. Wherefore the most frivolous coquette. as well as the most serious philosopher, may find interest in this

subject. It forms a page in the art of pleasing, covered with tin* dust of cent uries. JEWISH. GREEK AND ROMAN WOMEN. Even the Bible has its account of the iniiniier in which the daughters of Israel dressed their hair. The Greek text of the book of Judith seems to indicate the use of the comb, but more often they allowed their tresses to wander over their shoulders, bathed in the perfumes dear to the Orient. Or with greater care they gathered

up their hair in a fillet of silk or gold mingled with coral and jewels, which divinely set off the darkness of those Hebraic tresses. As nets were the most ancient form of headdress, we find them diversely used among the women of Syria. Babylon and Egypt. Among the latter the most varied types abounded. Sometimes they divided their hair.

which was cut short, into tresses of little thickness; sometimes they spread over their heads thick nets formed of borrowed hair, which, among the poorer classes, were replaced by woollen and other substitutes; sometimes, again, they had recourse to ready made wigs, which they put on and off like hats. These wigs were black, and they set off the pal amber of their faces, while flow-

ers placed upon the tops of their heads bent over their foreheads. Queens had the privilege of wearing diadems. Passing over to Greece, we find in the earlier ages little differences between the headdresses of the two sexes. Women arranged their hair in puffs on the side of the face, and then allowed it to fall freely upon the shoulders.

It was the elegant courtesans of the time of Pericles who inaugurated

refinements and fantasies in the capillary art. The (.reeks then perfumed the hair and suspended little golden ornaments from the rings which they formed on their forehead. The Homan women, like the Greeks, arranged their hair with great simplicity, as is shown in their Lucretias and Cornelias. But with the imperial epoch luxurious innovations were introduced into the hairdresser's ns into other arts. FALSE HAIR AND WIGS. The reigning Empress directed the fashions. In the matter of hair dressing these might be reduced to three

different types. In the first the hair was separated by a part and united at the back of the head; in the second, curls and frizzes abounded; the third was distinguished by rolled locks, bound together again behind the neck.

Deceit soon lent its aid to coquetry, and false hair invaded the heads of matrons. Juvenal accuses them of building huge towers, and Martial hurls against them this epigram.

“Fabulia swears that her hair belongs to her, and she is right, for she has just bought it.” Nothing short of the austere manners of budding Christianity could restore simplicity to the Roman women. The Byzantine fashions of the early Middle Ages, however, brought back a still greater luxury into hair dressing. An ancient mosaic of San Vitale* at Ravenna represents the Empress Theodora wearing a large diadem enriched with pearls and rare stones.

whence depend on both sides of the face equally precious ornaments. The richness of necklace and other jewellery was in full keeping, transforming woman into a sort of sparkling idol laden with ornaments.

The blonde reigned throughout the Middle Ages. She wore a diadem of golden Jocks. The romances of chivalry abound with enough blond heroines to turn the brunette green with jealousy. For both sexes hair was an attribute of nobility and royalty. The wife and the daughters' of Charle-

mag’ne wore floating, wavy huir, gathered over the temples in gold circlets. CHIGNONS IN THE THIRTEENTH CENTURY. By the thirteenth century the chignon tends to replace pendent locks, but the latter fashion still endured among queens, for so late as 1294 we find it in a portrait of the widow of Louis IX., that Margaret of Provence who formed, with God and France, the saintly King’s beautiful trinity of love.

Already the ‘-golden chaplet” had appeared, a crown which was sometimes a heraldic insignia, sometimes a simple band of jewelry with ornamentations of flowers or leaves. But it was especially in the fourteenth century that the golden chaplet accompanied long braids of hair arranged along the cheeks and caught up behind the ears. It is in this way that, according to a seal of 1836, we see Jeanne de Clermont, Countess of Auvergne and of Boulogne.

Afterward the hair was raised more and more and attached to the top of the head by a circlet of gold. It was dyed in various tints save only

red, which was the colour of evil doers —for instance, of the devil. Horns, a still more special attribute of the latter, did not suffer the same ostracism. Toward the close of ’ the Middle Ages, in the fifteenth century, ladies twisted their hair in nets, drawn out to widen the forehead, then rolled and puffed out with stuffing, then placed in two great bosses or horns underneath the coif.

“One might almost seem to recognise,” says Michelet, in his picture of the French court at the advent of Charles VI., “the beast described and predicted in the Apocalypse. It must be borne in mind that this lieast was frequently painted with the horned head of a beautiful woman."

In the sixteenth century the hair lay upon the shoulders, bound by a ribbon enriched with precious stones, which encircled the head and obtained the name of ferroniere. La

Belle Ferroniere is one of the most famous of Da Vinci’s portraits. A fashionable queen of this period— Queen alike of France and of Navarre —was Margaret, daughter of Catherine de Medici, who espoused the future Henry IV. Though her hair was naturally very dark, this did not prevent her from appearing in public with a blond headdress, raised at the temples so as to form a large chignon and gathered on top of the head by a jewelled comb. To renew her wigs it is said that she caused her blond pages to be sheared like so many lambs. In imitation of this caprice and the example of Margaret, there were none but brown and blond heads at the court.

During the thirty first year of the seventeenth century, headdresses constituted an artful edifice, curled, frizzled, powdered and glued. The portrait of Marie de Medici in an en-

graving by Thomas de Leu may serve as a type. Nature was often far from sufficing for the erection of the monument.

But toward 16:10 women renounced wigs, abandoning them to the ugly sex, who made such constant use of them in the eighteenth century. ® ® W THOUGHTS.

There is no high destiny without honest perseverance; no greatness without self-denial. I,et me not yield to sloth, but let me train myself to brave, healthy* work for God and man.

Divine grace is given to the humble, and chooses the contrite heart for the place of its residence.

The most delicate and the most sensible of all pleasures consists in promoting the pleasures of others. Teach children to love everything that is beautiful and you will teach them to be usefid and good. The unknown and ungifted, whose lowly, commonplace life is guided bycharity. is before God great. God gives me work and lends me help and comfort to occupy and cheer me on my way; let me be up and doing and miss not one act T might do to glorify Him. ® ® ® THE T’ROT’EB WAV TO BEST. Very few women rest as they should, for the very simple reason that they do not know how. They think that to be thoroughly comfortable they must undress and go to bed. but this is quite a mistake. Provided there is a footstool in the room on which the feet may rest, and a comfortable chair for the body, there is no reasit why a quiet half-hour spent in this manner should not rest and refresh a tired woman, as nothing else could do. If you want to gain the maximum of rest in the minimum of time, you should employ the masculine but healthful trick of putting the feet occasionally higher than the head. Fashionable women, to whom the necessity of ever looking their best has taught this knack, fall into this position whenever they are in the seclusion of their own rooms. ® ® ® A BEAUTIFUL COMPLEXION. Apply Sulpholine Lotion. It drives away pimples, blotches, roughness, redness, and all disfigurements. Sulpholine develops a lovely skin. Is bottles. Made in London. —Advt.