MARRYING FOR LOVE.

New Zealand Graphic, Volume XXII, Issue XVIII, 6 May 1899, Page 601

MARRYING FOR LOVE.

The following are the personal experiences, told by themselves, of men whose names are known to everyone of us. These men married when they were in very modest circumstances, and having long ago attained distinction and wealth, their opinions on ■marrying for love and working for siller" are worth hearing. This is what a well-known politician has to When I married the woman who gave me no other sorrow than her death, I was what in these days the. world would call a poor professional man. struggling for a position. 1 loved a lovely girl, the daughter of a man prominent in business, and who had lived in handsome style. She believed that her wealth as my wife would promote my career. Al) the world supposed her to be thi daughter of a rich man. Only 1 knew that her father was on the verge of bankruptcy. Only I knew that all my money—the accumulations of a lifetime—was in his hands. We were married presently, and then in the first month of our happiness the crash came, and her father was ruined and beggared, as I had known he would be. I was not only penniless, but iff debt as well, so we had to begin again early in our lives to practise self-denial study a thousand little economies and yet keep up a semblance of style before the world in which we moved. We could not in those days live it» the fashion to which I am now accustomed. In those times T was often, for all my prominent positions, comparatively poorer than the mechanic because my expenses were so much heavier. In those times the girl would givd up something to the man she loved She’d make sacrifices; she’d accept chances. In these days, owing to the society usages, ‘the higher ideals,’ the general extravagance of city life, she is greedy, grasping, selfish. Tier eyes, her heart are centred on money,

money —nothing but money. The evil is growing. The days when a girl of society, or of the upper class, married a poor man because she loved him appear to have gone forever—except in the country towns. AN EX-MAYOR AND HIS PLUCKY YOUNG WIFE. An ex-mayor delivers himself in these words:— I wouldn’t like to say how poor I was when I started life, with a widowed mother and a family of brothers and sisters dependent upon iny efforts. When I married I was—let me see—well, I was a poor man, a salesman in the firm of which I afterwards became the head. My dear wife had been accustomed to many of the refinements and elegancies of life. Yet she was content to accept my poor lot. and we had to do a lot of managing in those dayst to keep up appearances. I remember how we scraped and

saved, culling a little here ano a little there to buy our first drawing-room set, and the joy that filled our hearts as we sat in the midst of our newlyacquired household gods can only be known once in a man’s life.

Well, it isn’t worth talking about. Somehow or other 1 reached the position 1 hold to-day, and I only consent to talk of my own ease that it may serve as an example to the young men and young women who seem to be able to face life together. The girls look for rieh men, the men look for rich wives now. Still, even in these days, I find women—society girls-r-who are willing and anxious to marry a poor man simply because they love him.

It seems to me that the higher style of life, the tendency to extravagance, the striving for display, the hot composition which has sent up the scale of income and made men poorer, are

res}>onsible for the new spirit among our girls. But go into the country districts. See the charming little houses built up here for very little. A man earning a modest salary in a country town is fairly prosperous and well-to-do. In the city he feels mighty poor. In a provincial town the average girl asks herself, ‘Do I love this man?’ In the city the question is, ‘How much money has he got?’ And for this our style of life is responsible. A NOTED FINANCIER’S FIGHT FOR A LIVING. A financier of world-wide renown tells this of his early struggles: — When I married I was assuredly not the man lam to-day. I was fighting for a living. My wife had been accustomed to wealth and a fine establishment. Yet she did not disdain to share my comparatively poor lot. Because. although I had a fairly good

income, I was compelled to keep up a certain appearance, and no one but a man in that position can realise the shifts to which he may be reduced in order to keep bis end up. My wife—l have been forty-four years married—aided me in my career to success as only a good wife can. Children came to us. I hold that a child is always a spur to a mail. I know that the birth of each little one seemed to urge me to renewed efforts in work. It is the case with every man who is worth anything in this world.

It is unhappily true —no one knows that better than I do—that women in these days look out for wealth and demand it at all costs. They want dresses, they want luxuries. They have no real love of home. They look upon a husband ns a convenience.

This is not the fault of the woman, who is naturally unselfish. It is the

sole fault of our modern existence. Go out of the city and you find the woman in her natural self—sweet, tender self—surpassing true, living in her husband and home. A GOOD EXAMPLE TO YOUNG FOOLS. How did 1 begin married life? exclaims a professional man who has made a name. What was my income? That’s none of the public’s business. But if it is to set a good example to the voting fools—men and women who believe that money is the only road to happiness. I’ll tell you that I began married life on £2 a week. Yes. sir. I had about £to besides iny pay. I loved a girl who was as poor as myself, or poorer. Well, we decided that we would marry and take a chance in the lottery. You must remember then that I bad not been

called to practice. We went to n eheap boardinghouse. It cost twentyfour shillings a week. It seems strange to look back now. Well, we were happy together when times were good, and starved together when times were bad, and by-and-bv after I had been called 1 began to pick up a little practice here anil there and live somehow. Then we moved into our little house. Dear me. to think of the day we bought the ormolu clock and put it on the mantel piece in the parlour! We sat right down in front of it. arm in arm, and feasted our eyes on the most prized of all our earthly treasures. Those times have gone and times changed, and I made my way. but I wouldn’t exchange the fond ’memory of those days for all the wealth and all the success that has since fallen to me.